- Joined 12/03/13
- Last login 12/05/13
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Although the theme of the story may seem a little cliched, the piece itself is good. It touches on several themes other than just the typical middle school/high school journal type book might, which is always an upside. Events are described very well, and the storyline is kept clear throughout, which makes for a good piece. The characters are also well described, kept with the amount of description that would be usual in a journal. Overall, an excellent piece of writing. The sole reason I would not give it the full five stars is because of the slightly cliched theme, but apart from that, I enjoyed it completely.
Reviewed on: December 5, 2013
From the one chapter I have been able to read so far, I can tell already that I like this story. Your style of writing is good, and certainly fluid, and you use a fair amount of descrpition and a wide range of different adjectives, which is always good. At the moment I cannot tell you whether or not you use too much description or too much dialogue, as there is only one chapter to base my review on, but from what I am capable of reading so far I can say that you even it out perfectly. I would give it a full five stars, but as I have not read enough of the piece to be sure about what to think, for now I shall rank it as four, though in future it may change. I certainly look forward to reading more of this.
Reviewed on: December 5, 2013
I think this is a very good story. The characters are interesting and well-structured, as is the main story itself. I like how quite a lot of the plots intertwine or connect, and how (somewhat like a TV series) a lot of the separate chapters are two or three parted stories with an underlying theme throughout the whole story.
I do have some points, however.
1). Perhaps a little more description on the characters' pasts? Just a personal thought, but I would really like to know more about quite a few of them, even if they are more minor characters. I am aware that this is structured like a diary or a blog, but it's just something you may want to take into account.
2). You have an excellent writing style, however, I would like to see a bit more description. Not just in the topic of the characters' pasts, but in the surroundings as well and perhaps even a little more about Casey's feelings. Perhaps more about what the school itself is like or more on their teachers? Just a thought.
Apart from these two comments, which I am aware are both to do with description, as I think there is a little too much dialogue sometimes, it is an intriguing tale and I think you have an excellent writing style!
Reviewed on: December 3, 2013
I'm really enjoying this so far. I can't read much more today, but I think tomorrow I can and I'm really looking forwards to it! Please continue writing!
Commented on: December 3, 2013