Liril Liz | SparkaTale


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  • Joined 10/20/14
  • Last login 12/28/16
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Hi guys! I'm Liril, thanks for stopping by and reading this... Please check out my book 'Black Allure:The Beginning'... I'm sure you will like it!!! You can also find my book on Feel free to message me! :)
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  • Blood Trail




    I love your writing style. I could make out that you have an amazing smooth flow of words. 

    I liked that the mother was considered a more significant figure than the father. 

    The pov was written well, I could feel the turmoil of emotions in the girl's head. 

    I'm not very good at describing things so, I found out that you do it really well. 

    The setting was depicted very realistically, I Could picture it easily. 

    I pity the father though. 

    I just wanted to know the girl's name. 

    I couldn't find any fault. This works perfectly well for me. 

    I'm going to read this further got sure. I don't know why but I felt my head cooling down while reading it, maybe because of the setting. That was a plus point for me. 

    Oh yeah, one thing. You write 'OK'  but I suggest you write the full word 'okay' because considering your style, the entire chapter was kind of formal. OK seemed really informal. 

    The village surrounded by wilderness, creepy but intriguing. 

    Going to read next chapter tomorrow... 

    Hope my comment helped! :) 

    Commented on: November 6, 2014