Trading Yesturday

Fate is described as the developments of events outside a person's control, regarded as the work of a supernatural power. The more popular one being God, as his existence was accepted more often. Faith on the other hand is something completely different. In a sense, it is when you surrender yourself to the mystery of the religion. I never was a religious person, but if there is a God, he must be pissed at me.

Either way, I found it all to be a bunch of crap. Here I was, a teenager with a bad attitude trapped in a hospital because of a rare blood disease that took a hold of my mortality. I'm suffocated just staying in here, obviously aware of my shortened life. Despite the harsh reality, I rather act as normal as I can.

I sighed. Nothing new here. I'm still stuck in this dull hospital room, patiently waiting for the moment I drop dead. I snorted. Yeah, way to think positive.

Hmm. I looked around my room, then out into the exposed hallway. A rather devious thought came into mind as I considered doing something I have been told many times not to do, but hey, rules were meant to be broken.

Carefully, I slowly unhooked myself from all the wires that were stuck in my skin. Surely nothing would happen as long as I didn't go for too long.

Feeling like a spy, I wobbled towards the door, it's been a while since I've last walked by myself so shoot me! Once I got there, I put my head out and scanned the entire hallway. Once I deemed it safe, I stepped outside my hell hole for perhaps the first time since I've been admitted here. It felt like I was on an adventure, free at last to do what I please, even if it was just for a few minutes. I could die at any day, so I may as well spend my last few moments with exhilaration.

As I came around the corner, I looked into the open room and saw doctors huddled around a woman, tending to her, while others were cleaning a baby. I found myself staring at it intensely, not knowing why.

Instinctively, the new born turned towards me and we locked eyes; the living and the dying. His young heart provided him with the everlasting life, while mine was slowing shutting down. I wanted to be angry, to scream out at the world at how unfair it was that I have to die while someone else got to live.

By observing the baby squirm and struggle as it adapted to the new world, realization began to draw onto me. I was a needed sacrifice in order for someone else to be born. It was the cycle that mother Earth has been using throughout her existence. My death, whether I accepted it as fair or not, allowed way for new souls to replenish our population.

A sharp pain in my chest brought me out of my thoughts. After being away for so long from the life-support machines, the toll was taking it out on my weak body. I leaned my weight against a nearby wall and began to cough. I knelt on both knees, feeling all the little strength I had rapidly escaping. Blood covered my fingers; the same blood that should be allowing me to live yet became my own worst enemy. I slid down until I hit the floor.

One nurse found me and started to shout for help. Minutes later, doctors appeared and all crouched beside me. The lead doctor, a mister Hugh Allan if I recall correctly, took me in his arms and ordered a wheeling bed to be brought. After receiving conformation that his order was understood, he looked back at me. The older man gently brushed loose strands of hair from my face. Through the reflection bouncing off his glasses, I could how pale I was. I could see pain fill the doctor's grey eyes as I stared at them. Focusing more, my own brown eyes were staring back at me.

A janitor ruined the moment when he brought in the bed. Standing up carefully, Dr. Allan hurriedly carried me to it. Once I was secured in, the staff huddled around me, watching me with sadden eyes as I drew my last breaths. Dr. Allan seemed the most affected by these circumstances. He grabbed my hand and held onto it as if his life depended on it. A lone tear dripped down his hollow cheek. "I am so sorry."

Despite the situation and pain, I managed to let out a small chuckle as I smiled at him.

Don't be sad, for I am happy. I thought.

Losing my energy, I looked up at the glaring beam of light illuminating my pale face. I felt a sense of peace as I knew what was to come.

And then I died. I was 16.