Where... am I?

2: Chapter One - Alice

-Alice-

My parents loved making business cards. they left tons of them around the house; some were from plumbers and electricians that worked for them over the years, while others were for my Mom's firm. Many people in Toronto knew about Anne Gibson, and the conversation wasn't always positive. Mom didn't care, she took on the clients and she secured the desired verdict for them. 

She was also the one who printed off the cards in my hand, all 250 of them, all for a stupid sleepover party. 

Don't get me wrong, I was a fan of having people over in my oversized room, listening to music and streaming whatever show I was invested in on that given day/week/month, but my folks just seemed to suck the fun out of everything. Who was going to call an hour in advance to ensure availability? This wasn't exactly going to be a sell-out gig, and I had so many of the damn things to hand out. They were bright-pink, with fun little floral patterns dotted in the background. I'm sure a lot of research went into that. 

The only person who was - somehow - on board with the idea was Niall. 

He didn't really need much of an excuse to come over and stay the night, and most of the girls only came over for him. Too bad that he wasn't available, though. He strictly played for the other team. It was the only reason he was allowed to these all-girl sleepovers, and even then Dad was a bit skeptical about it. Niall was the kind of guy who could seamlessly move from football and cars to boys and makeup in a split second, so he eventually warmed up to the boy. I wished that I had that effect on people. 

I dumped half of my cards into the nearest bin. They weren't going to find out. 

I didn't mind my school, or the people inside it. I had a few friends here and there, people I talked to and gossiped with, but nobody with the sort of deep connection I usually reserved for Niall. Trixie was perhaps the closest I had to him, so she was the first person I approached in the hallway. She always looked pretty; her frizzy hair dyed bright-pink. People just sort of naturally gravitated towards her, too. I was a planet pulled between different stars. 

"Heya!" She squealed, all excitement in her usual Trixie way. She already knew that the business card was coming, and she grinned when I handed her the latest example my Mom cooked up. "Very professional, one of my favorites so far!" 

"Compliments to the chef." I responded. "But yeah, would love to have you over if you don't got any plans." 

"Always make plans for you, Alice! I got a guitar lesson 'bout an hour before so I'll be a bit late, keep the popcorn warm for me?" 

"You know it." The bell rang before I had a chance to carry the conversation further, but that was okay. Trixie wanted me to learn the bass so we could form a band. I liked the idea, if it weren't for the fact that we'd have to play in front of people. The thought of more than a dozen people in a close space terrified me, I already felt the imaginary stage-freight. 

The next person was Hayley, but she was more of a question mark. The girl only seemed to talk to me when the mood was right, but the feeling was pretty mutual. She hung at the back of the room, already done with the morning and it was barely pushing 10am. I sat next to her, and she already knew what was coming. 

 "S'up." 

"Hey, so I gotta..." 

"When?" 

"Oh, eh - " 

"When?" She was straight-to-the-point this morning. 

"Um, tomorrow at 7?" 

"Suppose you got a card for me, too. Hold onto it." 

"But I have to get rid of them somehow!" I protested. Hayley smirked and took the card in my hands. It was ripped into pieces seconds later. 

"There, got rid of it. Seeyeah at 7." 

"Yeah..." 

Horatio made me doze off whenever he spoke. Our English teacher moaned about the loss of calligraphy, or something like that. I daydreamed about finally leaving this place, to move out of the city for college, to get away from everybody and everything I knew. I felt like my reputation was too far gone to repair or maintain around here, especially since everyone and their dog knew about my condition. Suddenly the sleepover seemed a lot less appealing. The bell rang before too long - I didn't listen to a single piece of information in there - and we were on our way to the next room. Some guy started hitting on Hayley, but she just glared her Hayley-eyes at him until he got the message. Not a lot of them could hang with a girl like her, and the few that could never lived to tell the tale - her words, not mine. 

"How's the girl?" She asked, probably to make some small talk until another one of her friends popped around. I was fine with that arrangement. 

"She's still kicking. Super excited about the sleepover, the one that you're definitely going to!" 

"Sheesh, I said I'm going, didn't I?" Hayley didn't like Tanya all that much. They had some beef that neither one would tell me about, only that the other was completely wrong. I heard enough about Tanya's whining about her to know that much. Sure enough, by the time one of her friends arrived, Hayley disappeared. Not before a seeyeah, though. 

Yeah, seeyeah. 

* 

The school day ended the way it usually began, and that was walking home with Niall. 

The sleepover recruitment mission was a giant success - or failure, according to Niall; five whole people agreed to come over, a number I was perfectly content with. The rest of the business cards were discarded. If they didn't want me to waste them, they should have printed off fewer copies. My friend must had bought a new cologne, because he smelled lovely. Like flowers, or maybe like summer, but definitely still Niall Lucas. 

"I've been speaking to him again." He began, much like he usually began a conversation recently. He always smiled involuntarily when he mentioned him, the sort of giddy side to the boy that I loved. "Stayed up pretty late, watched a movie together." 

"Oh, he's finally showing his face?" I teased, pleased with this latest revelation. I was slightly afraid that he was being catfished for a while. 

"He did, like a month ago! He's the perfect boy, Alice. Those dimples are amazing!" We shared a common appreciation for those. "He has a projector tilted to the ceiling, I never even thought of that!" 

"Sounds like you're smitten." He'd been smitten for a while now, but he always found something new about this guy to talk about. 

"Totally..." 

Our trip was uneventful; a few workers were busy fixing a burst pipe, so they blocked most of the sidewalk. Otherwise it was a typical spring evening - the sun was just warm enough, and I was basically arm-in-arm with my best friend. It didn't usually get much better than that. 

"You wanna talk about Tanya again?" Niall usually changed whenever her name came up, not that I blamed him. He was the only living, breathing person on the planet who knew about my feelings towards my girlfriend. 

"She hasn't been messaging me lately. I get that we're talking in school and we eat together and stuff, but all of a sudden she's..." 

"Distant?" 

"Kinda?" The word didn't quite fit, because I still saw plenty of her. We still promised to go on dates and kissed before we went our separate ways, but something changed since the last time I - 

"You don't think it's the..." 

"You always say that, Alice. She would never be that shallow. You've been together so long for a reason, y'know." He told me that time and time again, and it made me better the first dozen or so times he said it. It definitely lost its emotional weight by now. 

"It's just, I disappear for a few months, and I feel like I'm putting a lot of pressure - " Niall wasn't happy with that explanation, so he placed both of his hands on my shoulders, making sure that I looked deep into his gay little eyes. 

"She knew what she was getting into when she dated you, Alice. None of that and none of this is your fault." 

"R-Right." 

"'Sides, you're a great catch. I would be honored to date someone like you." 

"Still relying on you to marry me when we're 40 and alone. Strictly for tax purposes, of course!" 

"Oh, that's the only reason?" 

"You're also nice to look at! Not so sure your Tennessee boyfriend would like to share, though." 

"All I need is a bus ticket. A very expensive bus ticket." He sighed, but it was the good kind of sighing, one with a smile on his face. I used to feel like that whenever I thought of Tanya. I just didn't know where that girl went or if she's even there anymore. 

Away from the high-rise apartments, our neighborhood was small and homely; I used to work in Stychin Time on Mt Pleasant Rd for the summer, though it couldn't exactly be a full-time position even after school. Still, Susan was a nice old lady, and taught me the art of alterations. I joked about making my own dress for prom, but I made the mistake of saying that around my Mom. Suddenly, there was a moodboard for what colors she thought would complement me best, what stores to sample from, and what designers to emulate. Away from the research and the statistics, she almost looked like she was having fun. 

Almost. 

"Speaking of bus tickets, mind if you grab one for me too?" I asked, catching his reaction. 

"Hm?" 

"You know, we should go travelling together! I'll bring Tanya and head to Tennessee with you, be your supporting characters on your mainline quest to charm the Prince." He outright laughed at that, catching the attention of a few of my neighbors. 

"That sounds like an absolute dream! I second that notion!" 

"Good, it's passed. Just have to wait until I come back." It always sounded bittersweet when I said it. It wasn't like I was disappearing forever, but every time I came back, my friend's lives have moved on significantly. Hayley's boyfriend came and went while I was gone. Trixie went from struggling to strum a string to playing a full-fledged song. It just didn't feel fair, that I couldn't be there full-time. I stopped thinking about it, because It was only going to sour my time with Niall. He walked me right up to my house, as always. The sun disappeared, and it felt deceptively colder. I shivered, still not warm enough to leave without a jacket, apparently. Didn't exactly have to worry about the summer. 

"Keep me updated on your boy." I said. 

"You'll be the first to know. Can't wait for the sleepover tomorrow! Catch ya' in the morning!" 

Niall walked away, though he didn't have much further to go. I watched him as he disappeared behind a corner, and my heart sank just a little bit. When I came back, everyone I know would be in college. It was going to take me a while to get used to that. That prom idea was nothing more than fantasy, after all... 

* 

Tanya sat across from me, sipping her coffee as she glanced on her phone. I really liked the blue streaks in her hair - she always wanted to dye it, and this was just the beginning - but before I could compliment it she was interrupted with another notification. I nibbled my own sandwich while I waited for her to give me her full and undivided attention again. This was the usual routine so I was well accustomed to it. I thought about Niall's Tennessee boy, and if he'd ever have to sit across from him, waiting for him to - 

"Sorry 'bout that!" Tanya apologized, feeding her phone into her bag pocket so that she wasn't tempted to grab it again. "Just grabbed a few girls for tomorrow night, trying to sneak some drink past Anne's eyes is gonna be another story entirely!" 

"Mom doesn't really care if we're drinking." I replied, not realizing how hungry I was until I was finished my food. "Not like we're kids anymore." 

"Yeah, but she's not exactly gonna pop in and offer us some rum, now is she?" 

"You never asked her." 

"And I never will! Glad that you're nothing like her." 

She drank what was left in her cup, and she couldn't resist reaching for her phone when it lit up. I looked outside the window, and the small little neighborhood of houses and cars outside the cafe. Everyone I knew - including Tanya - had sent off their college letters, and none of them wanted to study here in Toronto. Much like Niall, I wondered what it would be when I came back and realized that Tanya was gone. We'd been together so long that I honestly couldn't remember a time without her, but things were going to change whether I liked it or not. 

"Say, when I'm back..." 

Tanya frowned, though I couldn't tell if it was because of me of it was something she saw on her phone at first. Eventually she sighed, staring right at me. 

"Alice, we've been through this." 

"I'm just saying - " 

"You're always just saying." 

"But this one's gonna be different. You're not going to be here when I... come back." She went back to her phone for a second, but I reached for her hand, forcing it to the table. "We have to talk about this one."  

"It's going to be the same; you're gonna disappear on me yet again and when you come back it'll return to normal. This isn't the first time this has happened." 

"You're going to be in an entirely different place, probably hundreds of miles away. Hell, you could be in a different country for all I know." 

"We can deal with it when all of this is over." She continued, but she wrested her hands away from mine, back onto her screen. We didn't talk much for the rest of our date. It wasn't really a date, was it? I thought that you actually paid attention to the person sitting across from you, or maybe I missed something along the way. Was it because we saw each other every single day? 

"Sweet, got another on board for tomorrow night!" She squealed, but I knew enough of her Tanya-isms to know that she found my point uncomfortable, and wanted to move the topic of conversation to literally anything else. As always, I decided to humor her.  

"You made more of a mark on this whole thing than the business cards." 

"What can I say? I got connections!" 

We finished our stuff and fetched our wallets - we used to alternate payment, but down the line we decided paying for ourselves was best - but when I stood up from my chair, I suddenly felt... dizzy. The world spun for a little bit, and I lost all feeling in my legs. Before I knew it, I was back on the seat again, surrounded by some very worried onlookers. I couldn't make out their faces and I didn't recognize the voices, but that was par for the course when this happened.  

It was the first sign of my episode. I didn't have long to go now.  

I gathered my breath, my hands tingled but were otherwise fine, and Tanya stayed silent for the entire thing. That was par for the course, as well.  

"Sorry." I muttered, but I didn't know if I was loud enough because she didn't respond. When she spoke again, I strained to hear what she was saying, not really sure if I picked up on the right words.  

"Here we go again..." 

 
 

 

 

3: Chapter Two - 18th

I hated the final month before I had to leave everybody. There were a lot of goodbyes involved, and quite a number of people to say goodbye to. I had to make sure the forms I submitted to the hospital had all the right information, packed my clothes for when I woke up, and wrote the little stick-it notes to paste on the end of my hospital bed. I never remembered anything when I woke up, so it became a little habit of mine. That first symptom from the cafe was only the beginning, it was only going to get worse from here on out.

I sat cross-legged on the floor; my curtains parted so I could get a good look outside, while soft pastel music played in the background. I was surrounded by sheets of paper, as well as my IDs. I copied each number and scrawled them into their respective slots, years of habit kicking in. I wasn't even sure why the hospital needed the same information again and again; it wasn't like it was going to change. Mom was downstairs, already submitting whatever it was she submitted for the grant. I was going to be lying in that hospital bed for months, and it was something not even the best healthcare could realistically cover. They never told me how much it cost, but I had to find out sooner or later; I was going to be 18 by the time I woke up, and they planned on showing me what to submit the next time this happened.

Someone knocked on my door - Dad peeped through it, a tired smile on his face.

"Yes, I'm filling them out." I said, not even looking from the pages. Nathan Gibson was used to the paperwork, considering he works in Human Resources for a banking form. At least we had filling out pages in common.

"Just wanted to see how you're holding up."

"Holding up just fine, thanks."

"Have we hit the doomsday clock?" That comment made me smile; when I was smaller - and before I really understood what was going on – that's what I used to call the final month, a countdown before I fell under and never woke up. It just stuck, even though it sounded stupid now.

"We have."

"Feeling tired? Groggy? Need anything?"

"I could do with some coffee." I whined. Glaring at the ink of sheets of paper hurt my eyes. "On top of this, Tanya's gone out and invited the entire school to come over tomorrow. I was happy with just the five of us!"

"We'll say that the business cards did the trick, keep your Mom happy, eh?" Dad asked with a wink. "Speaking of which, she wanted you for a sec."

"I'll head down when I'm finished." I promised him, pulling my hair back so it didn't get into my eyes. "Now, about that coffee..."

"Right on it." Dad promised, kissing me on the forehead before he shut the door behind him. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the floor, content with staring at the ceiling until my eyes somewhat recovered. Tanya never responded to my messages, even just a simple hi would have been enough for me. I wanted to ask her about what I heard - 'Here we go again' - but decided against it. It was just gonna lead into a pointless argument which would drive a wedge even further. Was this even a wedge? Was I out of line for just wanting to go back to what we were a few years ago? This couldn't be our new normal, could it?

The ceiling didn't offer any real answers for me.

I piled the sheets of paper into their neat little pile and placed them on my bed - they could wait - and I walked towards the living room. Mom and Dad hovered around the sofa; the coffee machine purred as my cappuccino was ready, and my folks muttered about something I couldn't hear. I moved towards my cup and sipped on it, relieved.

"Actually, that was my cup." Mom insisted, grabbing more coffee beans as she poured them into the machine.

"First come, first served." I pointed out, something she liked to say time and time again. She didn't react at first, but I knew the difference between Anne Gibson - the Lawyer and Anne Gibson, Actual Human Being.

"So you have learned something from me."

"I've a feeling I'm about to learn something new tonight." I commented, entirely grateful for the caffeine boost. I was going to rely on coffee for the rest of this doomsday clock, as always.

"We're going to show you what to do with this." She responded, gently escorting me to her laptop. "Once you move out, you need to know what you have to do, because this is absolutely essential." She wasn't exactly wrong. The page she directed me too looked downright scary to look at; it was full of questions and mandates, some of it in bright-red writing. Mom guided me through the process as I drank my coffee, but not a whole lot of it made sense at first glance. I forced myself to concentrate, but the caffeine wasn't doing its job. I stifled a yawn. Mom noticed.

"Alice, focus."

"I'm trying." I groaned, but it was just a lot to take in at first glance.

"It's vital that you do this, we can't be around to do it all the time." She stated, in full lawyer mode. "We need this funding -"

"I know, Mom. Thanks for reminding me for the fiftieth time." I was well aware about how much of a financial drain I was to the country, and I didn't really want to be reminded of the whole thing again. Mom softened a little bit, but not by much.

"We're going through the entire process tomorrow, then."

"I'm sure my friends would love to see that." I reminded her.

"OK, the morning after, then."

"Looking forward to it."

"How did the cards go? Did they like them?" Anne always loved hearing feedback on those little pieces of paper.

"They were a hit, 99% are still in one piece. Trixie loved them, your best one yet." She also loved flattery.

"Great, you can use them again for the next sleepover!" I thought about the hundreds of cards I threw in the bin, and didn't feel an ounce of regret doing it.

"Yeah, next sleepover..."

*

The art students were busy.

It usually happened once a year, when they painted over the lockers, just so they would have a canvas to add their touches to it. I remembered my freshmen year, when Trixie and I smeared our rainbow-colored hands across our locker doors, signifying that they were an LGBT zone. They were the first doors to be painted over the following year, but Northern Secondary School took the message; now every year, some sort of rainbow memorabilia covered those lines of lockers in some shape or form. I was glad I left behind that kind of legacy. My current locker didn't offer that sort of aesthetic - it was just a chequered flag, lazily filled in - but it was in a much more convenient position, so I took the trade-off for the prime real-estate. Even with the coffee I had, I still shuffled lazily through the corridor; it was only going to get worse over the next few weeks, so I just put up with it.

Hayley was nowhere to be seen - I had a feeling she was marked off of the sleepover - but Trixie was her usual cheerful self. She kept me company for most of the day, talking about the concerts she wanted to see and the songs she wanted to play. Unlike most of us, she didn't seem all that interested in heading to college; she was serious about becoming a musician, but if anybody could do it, it's her.

"Looks like we're down one." I pointed out at break, content with a salad. The girl sitting across from me had her phone in one hand and a sandwich in another, but unlike a certain someone, she actually seemed interested in the conversation.

"Pretty sure Hayley isn't the kind of person who deals with a girl's night out." She commented, taking a great big chunk out of her lunch. "Seemed in high-enough spirits the other day. Well, for Hayley anyway."

"It's OK, Tanya apparently invited some of her friends over, I don't know a lot of 'em." Trixie gave me a knowing look, and I knew what she was alluding to. This wasn't the first time I brought up this kind of thing in conversation.

"How does the host not know their own guest-list?

"It's Tanya. She's basically family at this point." I continued, but I knew that was a flimsy point, and Trixie knew that I knew that. She pondered that over another bite of her sandwich.

"Look, I'm not gonna stick my nose in other people's business, but you need to stand up for yourself a little bit more with her." She began, making sure that the girl in question wasn't in earshot. "I get it, Tanya's a very loud, confident kinda gal. I know you - you like things nice and quiet - but at this rate you're not even gonna enjoy tonight, huh?"

"I'm sure it'll be fun!" I didn't know who I was fooling, but it wasn't me and it most certainly wasn't my friend.

"Isn't the entire point of all of this because you're heading back to hospital soon?"

"Yeah." It was pretty much my 18th party, celebrated in advance.

"She shoulda run it by you, gotten your approval. Just sayin'."

"Thanks for being honest."

"Welcome, but Niall and I will keep ya company. We'll grab Hayley yet." Trixie continued speaking after that, but for a split-second I couldn't hear a thing. It was just the absence of sound, which came back in a flash, but it rocked me a little bit. I was used to those, too. Another tick of the doomsday clock.

"You alright?" Trixie asked. She clearly saw what was going on.

"Yeah, it's nothing." She decided not to bring it up again.

The rest of the day went about as usual; Niall and I shared a few periods together, and Tanya grew more and more excited about the sleepover - or the alcohol, to be honest. We strode through the hallway together, arms intertwined. It was moments like this that the girl I remembered came back, and everything was rosy and warm again. Those moments were very few and far between now, but her head on my shoulders and her arm around my waist made me forget about that for just a little while.

Then Hayley popped into view, and the moment was over. She looked the other way as she strolled past - common procedure when I was with Tanya - but I wondered where she was for the first half of the day. My girlfriend rolled her eyes and continued talking about what to watch tonight, returning to that fleeting moment.

Except it wasn't a moment anymore. The moment had faded a long time ago.

*

My folks spared no expense in making sure the house looked presentable. When Niall and I walked through my front door, it was almost unrecognizable; the ceiling was covered entirely with pastel-pink and baby-blue balloons, an arch of them guarding the access to the kitchen. The coffee table in the living room overflowed with snacks, and on the counter rested a few bottles of champagne. I didn't know if that was for us or for my parents, but Niall was delighted.

"Howdy, Gibsons!"

"Caught the fight last night?" Dad began, his usual hello to the guy. "De Silva took a helluva uppercut, huh?" I zoned out and let the boys talk about their sports as I strolled over to Mom. She was the one who had the vision for this place, Dad was usually the helping hand.

"This is..."

"A bit much?" She quipped, wine glasses at the ready. "Definitely ordered too many of them, they're going to be a pain to drag back down again, but - "

"It looks amazing!" I replied, genuinely taken aback. "You didn't have to do this."

"Well, it's your 18th. Got to change it up a little bit." Dad's laughter broke through our conversation. Whatever he was talking about with Niall, it was definitely a riot. "We got the blankets and pillows ready upstairs, champagnes for you but don't overdo it and make a mess, OK?"

"Just so you know, they're gonna try and sneak in some of their own." I commented. It was better to get that confession out of the way now before she inevitably found out on her own.

"As long as it's kept in this house - and as long as they share some of it - then we'll get on just fine." She whispered; a wink thrown in for good measure.

"Mom, I'm shocked!"

"You wouldn't believe the week I've had, need something dry to take the edge off."

"So you're going to take drink from underage minors?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I could just confiscate the entire lot."

"Nope! They'll share!" I was a fool for believing in honesty. Dad's arm was wrapped around my shoulder, squeezing the biggest hug he could manage while he slipped an envelope into my hands. Niall munched on some crisps in the background, perfectly content.

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble!" I stated, but Dad nudged me on the shoulder with a smirk.

"You only turn 18 once, you'll thank us down the line!"

"She's thanking you now!" Niall chimed in - his gay eyes already set on the champagne. We sat in the living room - and endured highlights of that fight the guys were talking about - before the doorbell rang. Hayley packed like she was ready for an expedition, her blanket rolled up and attached to her bag. Even if I didn't tip Mom off on the drink, the clink coming from said bag was a dead giveaway.

"You're sharing that." Mom opined, startling her. Hayley glared at me, but I waved it off and told her it was subject to the Gibsons Tax. She wasn't too keen on the fight, either.

"Where were you today?" I asked, but she kept coy about it. I wasn't going to force it out of her.

Trixie was the next to show up, her guitar in tow. Her lesson went really well - something about riffs, I didn't really understand - but she fell in love with the balloons as soon as she saw them. Mom asked about the colleges she submitted her applications for, complimenting the musical instrument. The poor woman dragged me to both violin and piano lessons when I was smaller, but they just didn't manage to stick with me, much to her dismay.

Tanya finally arrived...followed by a few girls I was only vaguely familiar with. She added a bit more blue into her hair, a great big smile on her face. She leaned in and kissed me while Hayley looked away. I was going to have a big job on my hands in keeping them in line.

"So, when's this party getting started?" Tanya asked.

*

I spent most of the evening getting to know the few girls I was unfamiliar with; Julia was one of Tanya's friends from the year below us, and the youngest. Despite that, she easily stood taller than the rest of us, even taller than Hayley. I was also pretty jealous of her hair - I would kill to have locks like that - so we spoke for ages about what she routinely got done whenever she went to a salon. She was actually pretty nice, I wondered why we hadn't spoken sooner.

The second girl - Trish - was the opposite. She was only there for Tanya and the drink. I made a note to tell my girlfriend that I didn't want her around here again.

Crystal was a weird mix of the two; she kept herself to herself, but once I spoke to her she actually seemed pretty friendly.

We huddled around my room while Niall set up the projector. He went on and on about the latest news with Tennessee Boy, and recommended a show that they liked to watch. The popcorn was made and the drink was ready, the lights were dimmed low and the blankets were arranged. I kept things slow and sipped on my glass while Tanya and her friends chucked theirs back. It was starting to look like we were split into two camps by that point - Niall, Trixie, Hayley and I at one side, Tanya, Julia, Trish and Crystal on the other. I tried my best to ignore it. It was allegedly my night, and I wanted to enjoy it as best I can. The doomsday clock was going to tick down, regardless.

"Play us a song!" Tanya requested, already slightly tipsy. Trixie had the guitar in her hands, cross-legged on the floor, so she decided to play the intro to 26. Paramore was a solid choice, and she could carry a tune. I leaned back and listened, in the darkened room with the projection hooked up. Hayley took a swig from her bottle, her hair a curtain over her eyes. I had Niall on one shoulder and Tanya on the other while the room turned as blue as the lyrics, on account of the loading screen from the projector. We cheered when she finished, even in the projector light we saw her cheeks turn red. It was the first time I saw her play in front of that many people. Tanya planted a big kiss on my cheek, she was so close from me that I could smell the drink. I hadn't seen her go so hard into it before.

Before I knew it, a pair of hands covered my eyes: It was Niall.

"What are you - "

"Shh! just keep your eyes closed!" He told me, while Trixie giggled in the background. They shuffled around the room - asking questions like Where is it? and Did we leave it downstairs? - but eventually they clustered around me. Niall finally allowed me to see again, and I got a good look at the cake in front of me; it was an elaborate affair, but the icing was covered in pictures of me. Some of them went back to when I was a little girl, while others were of both Niall and I on our first day of school. Fast forward a couple of years, and there were photos of me and my girlfriend - I was shocked to see Tanya's natural blonde - from our first dates right up until this year. The cake was covered in eighteen candles, the candles already lit.

"Happy Birthday to you!" Niall began, and Trixie joined in straight after, strumming a simple chord.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Crystal and Julia chimed in with Tanya, while Hayley and Trish stayed silent in the background. Still, everybody clapped when I blew out the candles while Niall snapped some more shots on his phone. I really hadn't expected all of that.

"You guys..."

The show was nothing too special - another rom-com that served as Niall's Achille's Heel - but it didn't really matter. We laid on our backs and were wrapped in our blankets, talking about everything from boys (especially in Niall's case) and girls (especially for Tanya and I) to what the next year had in store for us. They talked about their plans, from kayaking to interrailing through Europe, and that's when the evening soured for me. Maybe it was the drink that amplified things, but I didn't want to hear about their plans, especially when I couldn't be there to be a part of it. I tried to squirm out of my blankets, but Tanya's arm was tight around me. 

"Where you going?"

"Just gotta go to the bathroom." I said, but because Tanya knew how my voice cracked when I was upset, she didn't really buy it. 

"Just tell me what's wrong." She whispered. 

"I'm fine."

"Alice, c'mon." She protested, but I was up on my feet and on my way towards the bathroom. I shut my door quietly behind me, and sighed heavily. I didn't realize how much it bothered me until now. That was the whole point of the sleepover, wasn't it? To celebrate the birthday I wouldn't be awake for? I tip-toed to the bathroom and flicked on the light, looking at my reflection. I didn't know what time it was - though my parents were still watching TV downstairs, so it couldn't have been that late - but I looked like I was about to drop. I untangled some knots in my hair and quickly washed my face with water to snap me out of it. Outside the door, I heard whispers from someone just outside - I didn't recognize them at first, but eventually Niall's voice joined in the mix. I opened the door; Hayley and Niall stood just outside, and the girl looked visibly upset. 

"What's - "

"No offense Alice, but your girlfriend's a fucking bitch."

"Hang on, let's all just calm down." Niall cut in, trying to diffuse the situation. Hayley was having none of it, though. 

"Calm down? She's busy bitching about her to her friends, dude."

"What?" I moved past the two of them and walked inside; Trixie was busy feeding her guitar into its bag. Tanya and her pals were huddled in the corner, suddenly quiet when they saw me. My friend tried to walk outside, but I stopped her. 

"Trix, what's going on?"

"Sorry, but I ain't staying over tonight, not with this sort of drama." She explained, but it only made things more confusing. 

"I literally just went to the bathroom! What happened?" 

"We'll talk later." She whispered. She moved past and walked downstairs, telling my folks that something came up and apologized for leaving abruptly. I turned my attention to Tanya, who didn't seem the least bit bothered. 

"What did you do?"

"Oh, so it's my fault, huh? All I did was tell them about the Kleine-Levin syndrome you got! Why is Hayley even here? You know I don't like her!"

"Hang on a second, I actually know Hayley!" I protested. "No offense, but I didn't have a clue who you friends were until today!"

"They're my friends." She replied. 

"This wasn't your party. It's mine!"

"Don't bother trying to explain shit to her!" Hayley yelled from the hallway, abandoning any pretense of keeping this quiet. "Girl just loves to run her mouth and gossip about you behind your back!" 

"Come back in here and say that to my face!" Tanya snapped back, just as loud. Niall still played the mediator, but there was nothing he could do. Before things escalated, I heard footsteps from the stairs - it was Mom.

"All of you. Downstairs. Now."
 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

4: Chapter Three - Sleeping Beauty

-A few weeks later-
 

"Alice...c'mon....Sweetie it's time to wake up..." At first, I thought the voice came from my dream; I remembered walking through an amalgamation of cities, where the Eiffel Tower clashed with the Tower of Pisa, and the people spoke in a made-up language which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I ignored that voice and continued on my journey, taking in the sights of the food stalls and the foreign language printed on billboards, blissfully unaware of the fact that the sun set and rose again in record time, with no moon to speak of.

"You think she's..."

"She'll come to in a few seconds, Nathan. She always does..." That same voice again, so familiar...

The dream faded to black, and in its place came a pin-prick of light; It was actually the morning sun, filtered through the curtains in my room. It took me a second to realize where I was, my dreams were usually a lot more intense towards the beginning of my six-month episode. Mom crouched by my bedside table while Dad hovered in the hallway, moving from room to room with a bunch of bags and suitcases. They were all for me and my stay in hospital, which I thought was unnecessary.

"Alice, it's 3pm." Mom said, but she said it in a soothing tone she normally reserved for children and clients. It also meant that the morning sun wasn't really a morning sun at all, and that I'd missed an entire day of school. "You'll have to get up if you want to start saying goodbye to people." Getting up was much easier said than done; my body felt heavy and didn't really react immediately to what I asked of it. My eyelids were so heavy, but there was too much to do.

"I'm up." I stated, which was a bit of a ridiculous statement, considering that I was still lying horizontally in my bed, but it was enough to satisfy her. I shuffled awkwardly under the blankets and heaved my body up to a vaguely-upright position. Gravity fought me every step of the way, but I was finally back up to my feet. Mom disappeared into their room, informing the school about why I was a no-show - they understood, this usually happened - and my own phone was in my hands, ready to message.

The sleepover was an unmitigated disaster; Hayley, Niall and I slept in my room while Tanya and her friends had to take up the spare bedroom. By the time I woke up - which was 1 in the afternoon, also late by my standards - they had already left. Hayley sat down with me over breakfast and explained everything that happened – it sounded like my girlfriend complained about revolving around my 'routine' - but I waved it off. It was just Tanya being Tanya.

My friend told me that was the problem.

Niall was the first person I messaged, arranging a coffee date by Uptown Brie. Apparently, something happened with Tennessee Boy - something good - and wanted to give me the rundown. Trixie was busy, so I ended up calling her and wishing her luck for the next six months. I couldn't reach Hayley, and my message went unseen. She seemed pretty odd lately, not that I blamed her; the weeks that followed were pretty awkward; Tanya locked arms with me at recess, and we just did our usual thing as I hung out with her gang, but the second Hayley or Trixie walked past, her eyes turned to daggers. It got to the point where I had to make separate time slots to meet them, just to keep them happy. She didn't even like that option, but I told her that she had her friends and I had mine. Tanya told me to get better ones, and so the arguments started. There was at least one of them a day for a while.

I felt like she was about to break up with me.

I grabbed some breakfast - toast was all that I craved for the moment - and sat down to eat while Dad heaved all the bags into our hallway.

"Do I really need all of that?" I mumbled in-between bites. He seemed to agree with me in the way that he sighed, stretching his back the second he dropped the latest suitcase.

"Allegedly."

"Mom's just being Mom." I continued, knowing full well that it this had Overprotective Mother written all over it. Dad gave me a knowing nod and kissed me on the forehead as he disappeared upstairs, leaving me alone to enjoy my food. The news blared on about some protests that went on in the United States, though that wasn't anything unusual by now.

My eyelids fluttered, and I suddenly felt exhausted. The doomsday clock ticked on. Niall's response back distracted me for a little while - confirmation for our little date, he was just heading back home to get changed and would swing by my door in an hour's time. I told him I wasn't going anywhere.

"Right, got the forms together, got your change of clothes, and everything else set for when you wake up." Mom stated, a bundle of energy. She seemed flustered, peering inside a number of those bags to make sure everything was where it should be. "If you need anything else, now's the time."

"I have enough clothes for a fashion show, I think I'm OK." I began, but a phone distracted her. She turned into a lawyer in front of my very eyes, snapping at the unfortunate soul on the other end of that line, something about liabilities and a large sum of money. I learned to shut all that out.

Almost exactly on cue, a knock on the door. Niall allowed himself inside as always, looking at my sleepy head on the kitchen table, a half-eaten slice of bread still on my plate.

"Ready?" He asked. I raised my thumb as some sort of half-assed reply.

*

Brie was a tiny little place by Castlefield Avenue, and it was Niall's favorite spot. The owner practically knew him by now, always gossiping and sharing little bits of information with my best friend. I held him up with my sluggish legs, though he didn't seem to mind. He'd seen it all when it came to the doomsday clock, I just hoped that I didn't pass out in public. He wasn't going to be able to carry me back home.

It was warm, unseasonably so. I felt little pin-pricks on my skin from the sun, the air heavier than it had any right to be. I was more of a winter person, much happier in the snow. Niall and I were polar opposites in that regard. He was giddy with excitement; it was obvious he had some big news for me.

"You know, you can just tell me." I teased, longing for the iced tea that was waiting for me at the other end of the street. "You're all jittery, people are starting to notice." There wasn't, but Niall still gave a self-conscious glance across the street just to be sure.

"I'm hyping it up way too much." He admitted, but that smile was still plastered on his face. "I just can't help it!"

"Have we got an update on Tennessee Boy?" Niall turned bright-red as soon as I mentioned those magic words.

"Maybe."

"A good update?"

"Maybe."

Helena served at the counter as always, just as happy as my boy. Her hair was pulled up into a tight knot, and it twirled as she danced from counter to counter, customer to customer. I was a sucker for that, and I could have sworn that she knew it. They struck up their usual conversation as soon as she saw Niall - I was so jealous of the way he effortlessly carried a conversation - and ordered our drinks as we sat outside. Thankfully he had the good conscience to pick a spot with some shade.

"So now you're gonna tell me what's going on!" I insisted, my patience worn thin. Niall laughed, stretching his legs as he made himself comfortable.

"He decided to come here for a few days!" He announced, barely containing his excitement. "Still ironing out when it'll suit us during the summer, but it's happening!"

"That's...wow!" I didn't expect that. Turns out he didn't need that very expensive bus ticket after all. "I'm so happy for you! I can't wait to..." I did it again, reminded myself that I wasn't going to get the opportunity to do it. Niall picked up on it, but my heart had already sank.

"Y-You're gonna be the first person I introduce him to!" He promised, which was a ludicrous statement to make on account that I was gonna be MIA when the boy arrived in Toronto. "Maybe we can head his way before Christmas, you like the snow, right?"

"I appreciate the damage control, but I already hurt my own feelings." I stated, and not even the cool taste of lemon iced tea could sweeten my mood. I just felt so god damn tired, knowing that if I fell asleep now, it might start my six-month hibernation. "I wouldn't even mind if I had the usual KLS, at least then I miss maybe a week or two between episodes, tops. But this..."

"You come out of it; you always do." He encouraged. He was very good at that: encouraging. He sipped his own beverage, but he was trying to find the rest of the words to say. I've had enough of these conversations to know when he was stalling for time.

"What have you got in mind, when Tenessee Boy comes knockin' around here?" I asked, and it was the distraction that he needed. Niall wanted to bring him to Cinescape - a solid choice in my opinion - but everything else was up in the air at the moment. He never booked a hotel before, according to my best friend, so he volunteered to check the prices and rooms for him. It seemed like everything clicked with them so far. It was nice to see...

"I'm thinking about breaking up with Tanya." Those words came out of nowhere, a genuine slip of the tongue. Still, it felt like I held in those thoughts for a while now. Niall's smile vanished. I didn't mean to do that.

"We don't have to talk about it." But I had to talk about it.

"I love her, I really do." I continued, watching the ice cubes in my glass as they melted. "But after that sleepover... she just hasn't been the same."

"Do you take constructive criticism?" He asked, his hands folded, leaning in closer. It was going to be the same sort of statements that Hayley and Trixie made, but I was ready for it now.

"Sure."

"Things haven't been good for a while now, Alice." I fought off everybody else's opinion, but not Niall's. He didn't dress these kinds of things up. "I'm trying not to pick a side here..."

"It's OK, you're always on my side." I assured him. He softened at that.

"I listen to what you have to say, and honestly it's just gradually gotten worse since the last time you woke up. But hey, we can talk about it when you wake up again, right?"

"Definitely." I promised, sipping the last of my tea as the sun began to set, painting the sky in orange. "Tell the girls that I'll see them later?"

"Bank on it."

*

-The Following Day-

Dr. Gustaffan and I went way back - literally. He practically looked after me from my earliest episodes with Kleine-Levin Syndrome, a specialist who was best-equipped to deal with my incredibly-rare variant. My parents drove through Toronto in the dead of night, and I watched as the street lights passed me by, the last that I'd see them for half a year. My body felt so sluggish but I kept myself awake; I wasn't going to be any good to anybody if I conked out before they even strapped me in. Gustaffan was bound to ask about school, and what it felt like to graduate. He normally asked what I'd plan to do for the six months I'd have when I woke up again; I was content with searching for part-time courses to apply for, maybe a job to keep me distracted. I was probably going to confide in him that I was scared, scared that my friends would have disappeared by the time I opened my eyes again, and I predicted that he'd reassure me that they're never really gone. I could do with some final optimism before I drifted away.

"Got the forms?" Mom asked for the fortieth time today, and the fifth time this car trip. I assured her that they were practically glued to my side, nestled inside my bag's side pocket and ready to be retrieved. Dad pretty much repeated my sentiment word-for-word, though it didn't do much for her worries. Eventually she just turned around her passenger seat and reached for said bag, satisfied once she physically saw them inside. I decided not to take the lack of trust personally.

The conversation with Niall echoed in my head. My phone was in my hands, my seven messages to Tanya clearly visible; all read, none of them responded to. I really didn't want to end things, because we'd been through too much together. All the holidays we took, her parents who treated me like a member of the family... but Niall was right. Everyone was right, and I just didn't want to admit it.

But I was going to have to let the six months pass first.

Our hospital was relatively small, enough for a few dozen wards but nothing too spectacular. It was private, on account of my parent's deep pockets. Even with those, I still relied on the Canadian government to pay for most of my stay. There was bound to be a time when they looked at ol' Alice Gibson and decided that they could no longer support her, but I pushed that to the back of my mind. Once we parked, my Mom fetched the door for me, hit with the cold evening air. It woke me up, though not my much. I heaved the bag over my shoulders and began heading on inside, though my legs practically felt like concrete.

I just wanted to sleep.

The first thing that hit me - as always - was the smell of antiseptic. It was still as awful as I first remembered it, all the way back from when I was a small kid. I wasn't a fan of the IV drips they were going to stick into my arm, but at least I'd be knocked out before they did it. Gustaffan assured me of that. My parents handed everything in while I sat on one of the awful plastic seats, glancing at my phone one last time.

Still no response from Tanya.

I shut the thing off completely - no real point in having it on while I was out, and put it aside. I made my decision.

"Alice." Dr.Gustaffan was already waiting for me, as always. His hair began to turn white, and his giant nose burned bright-red. The guy loved to travel, based on what he told me. Probably got sunburned at a resort. He rested his arm on the reception desk as he greeted my parents, running through the same greetings as always. I resisted the urge to check my phone again. 

"Just the usual questions, nothing too strenuous." He started, accepting the forms graciously. "Is it still the usual symptoms? Fatigue? Anything out of the ordinary that we need to document?"

"Nope, just the standard upheaval of my life." I noted. He smirked at that, even when he tried his best to hide it. 

We walked briskly - well, as brisk as my feet could move, to be honest - through the corridors, the same walls with the same trolleys and people, and it felt like a heavy sense of Deja Vu. I've done this my entire life, entering and leaving for brief periods at a time, my life constantly revolving around this place. I tried not to think about it too much, it was honestly just to exhausting to ponder. My folks hovered over me, just in case I lost my footing - it had happened in the past - but they made me feel claustrophobic. Once I wake up, I'll be an adult, and I'll have to start organizing these sorts of things myself from now on. Mom made sure to remind me of that, just pieces of paper and forms and serial ID numbers for the rest of my life. 

I was used to a hospital bed, so I sat up against it as Gustaffan and a pair of nurses did all their necessary checks; checking my temperature, blood pressure and the like. It was exhausting to get through, and I could barely keep my eyes open. Mom and Dad watched on at the door...and that was when the emotion would start to show. Mom's lips were pursed and her eyes were watery - though she'd never care to admit it - and Dad's face turned a slight shade of red, his arm around her waist. I wanted to tell them that I wasn't going anywhere - literally - but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. The blanket was weighted, and the city view from my window was tranquil. It was all going to be there when I woke up, I just had to remind myself of that. 

"All set?" The good Doctor asked me. I had to be hooked up to my drip feed, but everything else was good. I didn’t feel like I could last a brief conversation with the man, so I took one last look at my family, and gave them a faint smile. 

"All set."

I closed my eyes, and drifted away...

 

 

 

 

 

 

5: Chapter Four - M?

My eyes fluttered, darting from one source of light to the other. The last thing I knew, I was wrapped in a blanket, my eyes were closed and I accepted my six-month KLS episode. Was I still awake somehow? What if I felt the needle from that IV drip? I tried to move my arms and legs, but they didn't register. It was strange, my eyelids were shut but I still made out the light in the room. I couldn't recall ever experiencing something like this before, and I knew what to expect.

Suddenly, I started to hear things; conversation, a beeping noise, the sound of a crowd cheering. None of it made sense. I tried to open my eyes, but it was considerably difficult.

What's going on?

The conversation got clearer and easier to make out - a nurse complaining about working for the weekend? - and those cheers from the crowd made way for what I assumed was an announcer on a TV. I even made out words such as transfer window and signings, an alien language associated with sports that I'd come to learn from Niall. I shouldn't be awake right now, but I couldn't move or speak to make those nurses aware of it. Was I going to be like this for the entire episode? No, I would have remembered if something like that had happened before!

Little by little, I started to gain a little bit of control of my body; it started with my toes, and the way they finally wiggled with my input. My fingertips were next, but they felt like they weighed a ton, and it took all of my effort to move them. The nurses seemed to notice, immediately requesting a doctor. I wondered what Gustaffan would think of all of this, maybe I was finally getting past the 6-month episodes? I got excited just thinking about the possibility, a chance that I didn't have to leave everybody I knew for that length of time again.

I focused all of my attention on opening my eyes - which was still a lot easier said than done - while the light beyond my eyelids grew stronger. I was going to see Niall's Tennessee Boy, and I could actually have that conversation with Tanya. Hayley was going to tell me what was going on with her lately, and maybe there would be a few bass lessons thrown in with Trixie for good measure. I felt my body move as I stirred - another good sign - while the machine I was plugged into began to record my quickening heartbeat, enough to draw the attention of my nurse. She said something I couldn't catch - not when the crowd cheered on TV, possibly because of a goal - but my eyes were finally opened for the briefest of moments.

For that split-second, I didn't recognize the room I was in, but the light from outside was so bright that I was forced to shut them again, the kind of pain that shot into the back of my cornea, an instant headache. Still, the room I was in was completely different from the one I fell asleep in; my bed was situated in the middle of the room - not by the windowside - and my room didn't even have a TV. I was clearly out for a while, then.

"Just relax, take it easy." A soothing voice said, presumably directed at me. "The doctor will be with you shortly." I couldn't place that voice, and I had the world of questions. I was never moved to another part of the building before, had the full 6 months passed already? Something was off about all of this. I prized my eyes open again, fighting to get a good look at my surroundings before I shut them again; the TV was definitely playing a soccer game, clearly not for my entertainment. A dull pain came from my right hand - and the IV embedded inside it. I tried not to think too much about that.

"Wh..." I tried to speak, but I didn't have the energy just yet. I stuck to keeping my eyes open, gaining new insights into my room; it was a lot...fussier than the one I was in, the walls were stocked full of shelves, medical equipment crammed into them. Several bags were stuffed into the nearest cabinet, threatening to spill onto the floor. Both nurses - I discovered there was just two of them - hurried around me, inspecting said equipment while keeping one eye on me. Every now and again, both women turned their attention towards the game on TV, ignoring me completely.

Before too long, a third person strode into the room, dismissing the other two. He spoke in a low voice, rough like gravel, clearly a heavy smoker from the sounds of things. I counted to three before I forced my eyes open once again - finding it a lot easier to do so in the process - and found that his face didn't match his voice in any way; guy must had been in his thirties at most, with hollowed out cheeks and warm eyes. If I saw that kind of face etched onto a girl, I'd swoon right there and then.

"Welcome back." He announced, that same disconnect between voice and face. I allowed my eyes to shut for a few more seconds before I pried them open again, now able to shuffle myself vaguely into an upright position. "Careful now, you've been out for a while."

"Who...are you?" I croaked, my voice raspy and thin...nothing like my usual tone. It shocked me a little bit. The Doctor laughed, though I couldn't tell what was so funny about a question like that.

"It's the first thing you always ask." He answered, only raising more questions. "Just hang tight and focus on waking up, your family are waiting for you outside." That was a relief at least. I sighed and slouched back into the pillow, mentally preparing myself yet again to open my eyes. I just had to focus on getting past the initial exhaustion, and everything else would fall into place, even that guy's ridiculous statement. I'd never met him in my life.

I was left to myself for a little while - I didn't know exactly how long - interrupted only by yet another nurse or two as they checked my temperature. One of them asked if I wanted something to eat, and my stomach growled loudly in response. That much I did remember from waking up; I forgot that I had a stomach until they mentioned the word food. I requested a small bit of toast, and she left to fetch it. She never came back. I wondered what held her up. By then, I had full control over my eyelids, and I took in more of my surroundings. I was finally able to look outside the window without the sunlight blinding me...

I didn't recognize any of the buildings. I definitely wasn't in Toronto right now.

My heart raced with this new information - clearly advertised as a series of beeps on my monitor - but I forced myself to relax, to forget about it until I was out of bed and in a position to ask questions. Eventually the doctor returned...followed by a man and a woman that I had never seen before. Her eyes watered when she noticed me, like I was some long-lost daughter that had been reunited with her mother. I didn't know what was going on.

"She's just woken up." He stated, one ear still clearly on the football game in the background. "It's gonna take some time for her to get used to her surroundings. Didn't recognize me at first, either." They just nodded and stood over me, like they were expecting me to say something. I was scared, and that was reflected on the little blips on the monitor.

"Just relax, deary." The woman soothed, though I was anything but reassured. "We'll go through everything with you, just like we always do." This woman was a complete stranger, talking about going through everything like we had a history? Was I kidnapped? Snatched from my bed and brought here? Breathing took an awful out of effort, like somebody had filled my lungs with dust and I was forced to cough it out before any valuable air got in. Her optimism vanished pretty quickly, looking towards what I assumed was her husband with big sad eyes. "She doesn't recognize us."

"Don't worry, love." He whispered, and kissed her on her forehead while I was left with very little choice but to watch. Other than the unfamiliar background outside, there wasn't much else to indicate where we were.

"Where...am I?" Even that took all of my effort, my throat was sore and my vocal cords weak from months of virtually no use. They glanced at each other, not knowing which one of them would break the ice. I wanted the ice broken now.

"M, you're in London, deary." That statement hit me like a truck, in full fight-or-flight mode, and rendered unable to do either. I must had been taken, snatched under Gustaffan's watch and ferried off across the ocean. My parents must have tried to visit in Toronto, right? They clearly would had said something if they gave them an excuse. These people stared at me, clearly worried. Why were they worried? How did they not know that this was all a big mistake? I looked around the room in panic, searching for something - anything - to somehow help me escape... and that was when I noticed my arms. My skin was noticeably darker, with a light hint of freckles scattered all over them. My breathing slowed as I took in the information, raising my left hand as I examined it.

"Mi... Mirror." I asked, straining my already-weak voice. It didn't quite click at first, but the lady reached into her hand bag, fetching a compact mirror. I accepted it - my hands shaking the entire time - and held it to my face; the girl looking back at me looked nothing like me, yet more freckles covered her face, her hair colored a hazelnut-brown. She was tanned, and honestly very pretty, but she was definitely not me!

"We'll explain everything once we get home." That woman explained, and now that I'd seen the face they were looking at, I could see the resemblance. "Let's get you dressed and ready. You think you can stand?" I didn't want to stand, and I didn't want to go home with either of these people, not until I figured out how I managed to get into this girl's body and how to fix it!

It... it couldn't have all been just a dream, could it? No, I'd still remember being this girl. Alice Gibson wasn't a figment of my imagination!

The woman - this girl's mother - helped me out of the bed on the right-hand side, just to get some energy and life back into my legs. They were so frail, and she held onto me for dear life as I put one foot in front of the other, carrying my IV drip alongside the both of us. With very little choice in the matter, I moved from one end of the room to the other, already getting some sort of energy back into them, though my calves felt strained. I knew that I'd be called back in regularly with a Physiologist to make sure everything was in working order, but that quickly gave way to the thought of food. Somewhere in the hallway, the smell of black pepper sauce made my mouth water. My legs almost buckled right there and then.

"I promise everything will come back to you, my little M." This poor girl's mother whispered, a sad smile on her face. "Angelica will be so happy to meet you again! She's been asking for you every day." I had no idea who Angelica was, not even an inkling. I was still processing the fact that I was on the wrong side of the Atlantic Ocean. I gulped, finally realizing that I was stuck, that I had no choice but to drive home with these people until I knew more on what to do next. I knew my folks' phone number; Niall's was a little more difficult to remember but I'd manage if I have to. Tanya wouldn't accept any numbers from abroad.

I just had to play it cool for the moment.

*

Their car was a lot... older than the SUV my parents enjoyed. It was a little hatchback, when they helped me to the back seat I was hit with dust, that old car smell that immediately made me feel nauseous. The weather was miserable, a light drizzle that was just enough to wet my hair and clothes. I was just happy that I no longer had a needle stuck up my arm. My heart still pounded in my chest, the idea that I was in another person's body, being taken to a different house with a different family, away from everybody else. The roads were awful, it felt like they hit every single pothole - and there were a lot of potholes - on our travel. My lower back actually started to hurt after a while, longing for the air suspension of my Mom's Volvo. They tried to talk to me, telling me that my class were asking for me, and the plans they had for the summer. Summer was an optimistic term, considering the weather outside. They promised that we'd hit the beach the second the sun started to shine. They promised a lot of things, actually.

They also called me M a lot, obviously a nickname. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I couldn't even remember my own name.

We eventually turned towards a one-way street, flanked on either side by double-yellow lines, until we finally hit a final right and parked. The houses were admittedly really nice, a bright-blue door covered by an arch, with three storeys. It was a pleasant surprise. My father - by which I mean this girl's father - helped me out of my seat, but I was strong enough to walk under my own power without their help. They still helped anyway, greeting a neighbor as she opened her door. She told me she was happy to see me again, and asked how my nap was. Out of politeness I laughed, but I just wanted to be by myself as I gathered my thoughts.

The first thing I noticed when they opened the door was just how messy everything was; letters covered the cabinet just inside the door, while the cream walls were covered in what must had been fingerprints and dust. A dog barked outside - probably theirs - while the TV blared in the living room. I grabbed my - this girl's - stuff and set it on the floor, my stomach virtually yelling for some food. They clearly heard it.

"C'mon, let's get some food in ya!" The father exclaimed, leading me towards the kitchen; it was the quaintest little thing, a large Victorian window gave me a pretty lovely view of their back garden - and the golden retriever that played on the lawn, confirming my earlier theory - while little knicks and knacks covered the walls. They ranged from small wooden models of fish, constructed from planks, to an actual, literal anchor. It looked like it could cause some damage if it ever fell from its perch, a definite maritime theme going on in here. If nothing else, it could serve as an ice-breaker which could help me learn more about this family. I took my seat by the family table, grateful for the opportunity to rest my legs without my spine getting pulverized by potholes. He opened the fridge, gathering some ham, cheese and lettuce. A loaf of bread was placed on a try, sliced with a giant knife. It made me nervous just looking at it.

"We'll put you on some dinner later this evening, this'll tide ya over for a while." He called out, and this attracted the attention of the retriever. The dog barged through the back door - already opened so it was free to move in and out, and stood on its hind legs as it scratched his pants, its tongue sticking out happily. "C'mon Clementine, this ain't for you!"

"Clementine..." I muttered - it was a lovely name - but the dog must had picked up on me, because it suddenly darted towards me. It licked my face repeatedly, catching me completely off-guard.

"Woah!" Clementine was a complete handful, a large dog that thought it was a little puppy. She must be a girl, based on her name. She held out her right paw and touched my hand, panting heavily from all the excitement.

"She missed you!" He called out, handing me a plate with some sandwiches on it. It looked light and airy, like the slice of bread floated on top of the ingredients. Must have been bought this morning. "Pinging anythin' in the memories?" I shook my head, she was a lovely dog, but I never interacted with a dog this closely in my entire life, I was absolutely sure of it. My parents never wanted to have a pet, claimed it was too much responsibility for me. His face softened a little bit, but he put that smile back on in an instant.

"You know it's going to take some time, Luis!" His wife replied - I couldn't call her Mom, even if she was the mother of this girl - grabbing a plate of her own as she opened the fridge. "Doctors said it'll take about a month, same as always."

"She didn't mention the anchor this time!" He cried, like I wasn't there in the room. What did he mean this time?

"Stop scaring our poor daughter and let me have some room!" She added, practically shoving him aside as she cut her own slices of bread into thinner pieces. Clementine pawed at her dress, but she shooed her away and back into the back garden, muttering something in a language I wasn't familiar with. Was it Spanish?

"I... I just need to wash my hands before I eat." I told them. Luis told me to knock myself out - but not literally, a laugh thrown in for good measure - and I pretended that I found that hilarious as I backed away from the kitchen, my eyes already on the front door. I could run, move as far and as fast as I could from whatever nightmare this was. I was waiting for the moment when I woke up once again as Alice, that none of this was real and I could have my life back.

My thoughts were distracted by the little boy that blocked my path.

He couldn't had been older than 5 or 6, his face was covered in chocolate, and he looked at me with moody eyes. I didn't know what to do for a second, but he walked past me, straight towards the kitchen. For a moment, I thought that these people actually left a small child by himself while they drove to hospital, but another girl emerged from the living room, bright-blonde hair and blue eyes, thin as a stick. A babysitter or neighbor perhaps. She followed the little boy while I searched for the nearest bathroom, thankfully the first room I saw as soon as I climbed the stairs. I shut the door behind me and locked it for good measure, finally turning my attention to the mirror. The girl looking back at me copied my exact movements, but I still couldn't believe this was true. I could see the terror in her eyes, the way her mouth opened slightly in shock. I pressed both my hands onto the sink and forced myself to breathe.

I was going to be OK. I just needed to go through this person's life until I fell asleep again, and wake up in my real body. I am going to be OK. I am going to be Ok. I am going to be OK...

 

 

 

 

 

6: Chapter Five - The Lay of the Land

When I closed my eyes that night, I hoped that I would wake back up in my hospital bed, the six months passed, and that this was all a strange dream. Unfortunately, that never happened. The room I found myself in was covered from head to toe in rubbish; teddy bears that could wear the dust they gathered like a jumper, piles of clothes in lieu of an actual wardrobe, and comic books that covered the only table there, its legs curved on account of the weight that it had to carry. I tried shutting my eyes and opening them again, but it didn't work. I was still stuck here, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Crap.

My wallet was emptied onto the bed, and I examined each and every one of them in an effort to learn about the girl whose body I stole; Mellissa Anderson, the exact same birthday as mine - which I found strange - and I held both UK and Spanish passports. The phone I had - it was fairly old, the screen cracked in places - took me a bit longer to look at, partly because I felt like I was prying into private conversations with people I'd never met.

The first name that stuck out to me was Angelica. Based on the snippet of the last conversation with her, it was obvious that she was really close; plenty of 'I wish you didn't have to go' lines, and promises to meet up and spend the entire summer together. There were plenty of photos taken as I scrolled upwards through the thread, all taken by me. Her hair was the most vicious shade of red I had ever seen, I couldn't immediately tell if it was her natural hair color or if it was dyed, but it looked amazing. They looked great together, which only made me feel even more guilty. I wasn't this girl, and I had to get back to Toronto to my own life as soon as I could... somehow. I mentally tried remembering Niall’s number by heart, but it eluded me. I logged onto social media to find his profile, but I couldn’t exactly message as Alice, not when I was supposed to be asleep right now. I also couldn’t message her as this girl from the UK, because he would ignore it. Just seeing his face calmed me down – for now.

"M! Breakfast ready, deary!" This girl's mother called out, loud and clear. Clementine barked in the background, probably in response to the word breakfast. My own stomach growled; it was going to take more than one dinner to get rid of it. I gingerly stepped downstairs and strode towards the kitchen, watching them sit by the table; the little boy colored on a piece of paper, his tablet plugged into a stand so that he could copy what he was seeing. His Mom and Dad - still not mine, I had to remind myself - swapped places as they made breakfast, taking turns between using hobs. It was a stressful little dance they made, always moving in each other's way to get to the sausages and eggs, yet somehow they managed without any catastrophes. I took my seat at the table - still mindful of the anchor that could come crashing down at any time - just as Luis handed me my plate. The eggs looked incredible, lightly sprinkled with black pepper. I gingerly took a bite - and wolfed down the rest of it in short order. It was easily the best eggs I had ever tasted. The little boy looked on disapprovingly, I didn't care.

"Looking for seconds?" He asked, cracking more into the saucepan as they sizzled. I nodded and handed back my plate, rewarded with a second batch a few moments later. I tried to take my time with that batch, adding a bit more pepper to give it more flavor. Clementine came and went as she pleased, until she finally settled with taking her place beside me. She looked at me with longing eyes. I was too hungry to give her the food she wanted. Luis and his wife - I heard the name Mia crop up once or twice - finally sat down with their plates of food, exhausted from all the dancing they did to put the food on the table to begin with. They sipped their coffee as Luis switched on the TV. It was jarring to listen to; the advertisements were completely different than they were in Canada. There was a lot of talk about the Queen apparently, she oversaw the opening of the new factory. I didn't pay much attention to royalty.

I was distracted by a tiny hand tugging on my jumper - The little guy had a letter in his hands, though the envelope wasn't closed. It was covered in scribbles from crayons and markers, the paper torn slightly at the edges.

"Looks like a special delivery!" Mia cooed. I didn't even know this boy's name, but he smiled as I reached for the letter. opening it to find an A4 sheet; it looked like a colorful bomb detonated on it, full of scribbles and stick people, not an ounce of white to be seen. There was some sort of writing on it, though I couldn't make it out to save my life.

"Oh, it looks..." I didn't know what it was supposed to look like. "It looks great, is this for me?" He nodded, but the smile vanished. It clearly wasn't the right answer.

"Ah, let's take a look at lil'picasso's masterpiece, 'ere!" Luis said, holding the piece of paper up to the light as he squinted his eyes. "Are you blind? This is clearly our house! You see the patch of blue?" I did. "That's the front door, and here we are!" We were represented by a bunch of lines and nothing more, but he clapped with his hands with the correct answer, cheering for his father. "Look at what it says here - Wel...come...home...Mellissa!"

"Oh, I see!" I didn't, I didn't see it at all. "It looks amazing, thank you so much!" He returned to his pouty stare.

"It takes him a while to warm up to you." Mia whispered, handing her son an extra egg for his breakfast. "You'll understand once things start coming back to you."

"I hope so." What I really hoped for was an escape from this hell. I was going to call my Mom the second I was free. Luis switched the channel to some football highlights, something which caught the boy's attention. He watched gleefully with his father while Clementine nuzzled her nose against me, still looking for some food. "I'm really sorry for asking, but I have to. I can't remember his name."

Mia's face softened for a moment. I could only imagine what it must be like for her daughter to say something like that.

"He's our little Antonio." She answered, cutting her own egg into manageable slices. "Don't worry, you'll remember him soon enough!"

"This happens to me all the time, huh?" Might as well get some more information about the girl I pretended to be.

"Every single time." She continued, pausing as the the two boys cheered for a goal. "But it disappears after a few weeks, and you always end up back as your usual self."

"It must be hard, watching this happen."

"Deary, you always say that to me." She replied, which rattle me a little bit. Clementine began to stand on both legs, clutching onto the table as she inspected my (empty) plate. She seemed pretty satisfied when she realized that I wasn't hiding anything from her.

"Just to let you know, you got a few people popping 'round today." Luis commented, with Antonio in his arms. "Rodrigez's gonna swing by at 2, Trish and Hannah are gonna take you over to their apartment later on. You think you're up for staying at theirs?"

"I..." I didn't want to do too much, too soon, especially when I didn't have a solid grasp of the neighborhood around me just yet. "Can I get back to you on that?"

"You're right, we'll tell Angelica -"

"Who's Angelica?" I pressed. Her name kept popping up, and she was obviously pretty close to this Mellissa girl. This comment seemed to rock Mia more than anything else.

"It's best that she tells you herself." She commented. 

"I ask this question every single time, right?"

"Yes." Mia answered, watching her little boy in his father's arms, his eyes glued to the football. "It's a lot to process in the first few days, and she usually tells you face-to-face." Another goal on the TV, and Clementine barked in the little garden to celebrate with the boys, but I focused only on what Mia had to say. I was just glad that I was already sitting down. "Trish is her sister, she just thought it was a good idea to show you the city, try and ping a few memories of the place... of us."

Crap. "I'm sorry, it's just - "

"Don't worry, deary. You'll remember in time." She assured me - I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I wouldn't - but she gathered the plates on the table once they were empty, feeding them into the dishwasher.

I'll remember in time...

*

Right on schedule, the doorbell rang at 2pm sharp. I pressed Luis on Rodrigez; he was apparently my best friend, on-par with Niall back in Toronto, from the sounds of things. We've known each other since we were kids, and he always stuck around during these 6-month episodes - I wanted to press that matter further, as to how this girl has the exact same condition that I had, and if that played into this situation somehow. I forced myself to take a step back and relax, to meet all of these people and familiarize myself with the city first before I asked any sort of assertive questions like that. When I answered the door, I was greeted by a not-unattractive kind of guy, tanned skin as dark as my own, braces covering his teeth. Much like everybody else, he looked like a complete stranger to me, and the resulting few seconds of silence was... awkward, to say the least.

"H-hey." He started, a much higher voice than I expected. He slouched against the doorframe, tall and lanky.

"Hi."

"You finished napping, I see." He continued, a brief approximation of a joke. I pretended to laugh for his benefit. "Still need to pick up those acting lessons, huh?" He clearly knew when I was genuine and when I wasn't.

When Mellissa is genuine, not you. You're Alice Gibson!

"Yeah."

"Don't worry, I get that you don't remember stuff. You trust me to take you on a quick stroll around the place?"

"Not really, no." I stated bluntly. It was scary enough to end up in a different country, let alone being taken away from the closest thing to a roof over my head. "No offense, people keep telling me that I'll remember things, but..."

"Oh, then how about we re-introduce ourselves, huh? Name's - "

"I know what your name is." I cut in, already getting tired of this conversation. "Hey, how about you pop inside for a minute before we decide to go anywhere?" He nodded excitedly, and I took his jacket as me strode towards the kitchen - and the main source of the noise. The dog must have loved him, because she pretty much tackled him to the ground, licking his face like a lollipop. 

"Rod!" Luis exclaimed. When I walked in, I already found my supposed best friend in the middle of a headlock. I genuinely thought that it was an altercation for a second. "How's the father? Where's he off to next?"

"Milan." 'Rod' shrugged, indifferent. "Gotta love having the place to myself."

"What vixen is he shooting for this time?" That earned a slap across the shoulder from Mia, but the man simply laughed it off. "What? It's a valid question!"

"I'll give you a valid answer, estúpido!" She replied. Antonio chipped in, but his incoherent babbling didn't give me a clear idea of which side he was on. "Deary, he's the last person you need to be worried about. Just go around the block for a bit, get some air!" I didn't want to, but I supposed it was better that I actually went outside and did some exploring and get it over with. Might as well have a guide to show me around, and he might give me ideas of what this Mellissa girl is usually like. I have a lot of mannerisms to copy while I figured out how to return to Toronto, after all. 

"Fine." I relented, but I tried to dress it up as optimistically as possible. Rodriguez smiled; those braces really stuck out when you noticed them. I promised I'd be right back, that I needed to grab my phone and a few other things - which was true - and I raced up the stairs as quickly as I could. As soon as the bathroom door was shut behind me, I dialed my Mom's phone number, pressing it up to my ear while my breathing slowed. I couldn't pretend all of this was fine for a second longer, it was too much, too fast. 

'Hello?' It was her! The sound of her voice almost made me cry. 

"H-Hi. Is this Anne Gibson?" 

'Yes - Who is this? You're a foreign number. You realize what time it is over here?' Shoot, I didn't take the time zones into account. I also realized that I didn't know what to say, I simply panicked and rush-called without a plan. 

"Um, uh -"

'How did you get this number?' She pressed, a venom in her voice that I've never heard. 'Did someone from marketing... look, if you're looking for me to represent you, I only cater to local clients.' I heard Dad in the background, asking what was going on at 5 in the morning. Mom whispered something about checking the contact section on her website in case her personal number was there. My plan failed, I didn't feel better after hearing her voice, I felt worse! 

"Wait, Mom I..." I froze. 

'I am blocking this number. Do not call me again!' Came the obvious answer, seeing as a foreign woman from another country just called her Mom. The line dropped almost immediately after that. I just let it ring out for as long as it needed to, feeling hollow. This entire situation was too much for me to handle, so I slouched to the ground and closed my eyes, trying to make sense of everything that had happened so far. 

"M, you gonna be long?" Mia called from the bottom of the stairs, In the midst of all of that trauma, I forgot that I had somebody waiting for me. 

"Coming!" I slipped the phone into my pocket - ready for more messages to read later on - and put on my best face before I walked back down those steps, my best friend waiting for me eagerly. 

I just had to pretend for a little while longer, until I figured out a way to go back home. 

*

Rodriguez was a lovely guy; As soon as we set outside the front door, I realized that he seemed to have been playing things up for the adult's benefit. The second we were alone, he apologized and asked if I was alright. I told him that I was, but that nothing here was registering with me. I couldn't tell him that I was a completely different girl who actually lived hundreds of kilometers from here, but I didn't want to cause too much damage for when Mellissa finally found herself back in her rightful body. 

"Don't worry, I see this every time you come back, this must be terrifying for you." We walked incredibly slowly, and every turn was easily telegraphed so I knew how to get back. Dark clouds loomed overhead, hiding the fact that we were on the cusp of summer. When I pointed that out, all he did was laugh. "You'll remember that we don't get a lot of summer days around 'ere." He promised me. His dark hair blew in the wind and got into his eyes. I knew that feeling pretty well. Best to start things off on familiar ground before I got in too deep with this guy. 

"Can you tell me a bit about how I...get these memories back?" I had to get some sort of timeframe. Perhaps it took a few weeks for mellissa to come to, and I would be ejected from this body. Even thinking about it seemed absurd. 

"Well, the first week is always the same; no collection of things whatsoever, we always introduce ourselves to you all over again." He began, meandering towards a narrow cobbled street called Clerkenwell Close. "After that, it really depends on where you go. You get hit with a memory of something from outta nowhere. The last time this happened, you remembered this tree down 'ere. Told us that you were afraid it was gonna collapse and crush the house next to it." Sure enough, a giant tree stood before us, taller than either building beside it. It was bent at a curious angle, so I understood why someone would voice their concerns about something like that. 

"Doesn't register this time." I admitted. Rod nodded sadly, pursing his lips. 

"Thought we'd swing by 'ere anyway, no harm in trying, right? Anyway, once you get that first memory, the rest come flooding back. Usually 'round a month before you remember everything, and then we just hang out and go places and talk about school as always." 

"I mustn't be a barrel of fun for the first few weeks then." I commented, moving through the alley as a few others walked past us, dressed in summer clothes even when the wind made me question those choices. 

"You're always fun!" He quipped, which couldn't possibly have been true. "You mightn't know it yet, but even without your memories you have the exact same personality!"

"What about you, then?" I asked, looking for a change in conversation. "Tell me a little bit about yourself, what kind of guy is Rodriguez?" He shuddered a little bit when I asked, though I couldn't tell whether it was the cold or if it was my question. 

"I'm...I'd like to think I'm a great person to be around. Dad flies to places for most of the year, shoots for pop stars and models. Gotta thing for Vogue on pretty short notice, so I usually get the house to myself."

"It sounds like a pretty sweet gig."

"It is, yeah." He wasn't quite so sure of his own statement, it seemed, but I didn't press him on it. "But yeah, we usually like going to the cinemas 'round here, my place has some props from Dad's travels. He's pretty well connected."

"I'm so jealous!" Another shudder, and this was definitely not because of the weather. 

"Heh, can't wait to get your memories back."

We kept walking; the streets were like a maze, and I was secretly glad that I could trace myself back to the house. My friend spoke about little things we used to do when we were younger, like when he stayed over at my place while his father was away. Apparently, Mellissa would wake up at 6am and ask how long it would take before her friend was dropped off to their door, and they spent the entire day together, watching TV and getting up to all sorts of mischief. He was there when Luis and Mia picked up Clementine for the first time, about six or seven years ago, and he jokingly asked his Dad to get a pet of his own, something which wasn't allowed from the sounds of things. I was having trouble keeping Mellissa in the third-person. I wasn't this girl; I wasn't the one who woke up in the morning to ask how long it would take for Rod to come over. I couldn't believe that I had to keep reminding myself of that. 

"So, I got a proposition for ya!" He announced, stopping in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk. 

"Hm?"

"If you're willing to go on a little bus trip, would you like to meet them in a cafe? Cafe Presto, your favorite spot. It'll save you from ending up in their apartment if you're not too comfortable with straying too far from Sans." He knew me too well. 

"I suppose I'm always a bit touchy with heading places for the first few days." Honestly, I was starting to get a little sick of people predicting what I did. 

"Can't say that I blame ya, don't wanna kidnap you after all - your joke, not mine!" He laughed, but I didn't have it in me to laugh along with him. 

"I don't have any change."

"I got it covered!"

I followed him to the nearest bus stop, and London began to stretch out in before me. A bus was parked, just waiting for us. My pal bought two tickets, and I followed him to the upper floor, parking our butts at the very front. 

I prepared myself for Angelica, ready to meet this mysterious girl.

 

 

 

 

 

7: Chapter Six - Sugar, Honey & Angelica

Rod rested his legs against the window while I sat beside him, the girl who was worried for his safety. There was a pretty wild story that did the rounds in my school back in Toronto; a girl in a similar position on a bus folded like a piece of paper when it suddenly stopped, two shattered bones thrown in for good measure. He waved it off when I mentioned the possibility. The bus negotiated some pretty tight roads through Clerkenwell Close - including a sharp left-hand turn that threatened to send us off our seats - but we finally found ourselves on an actual main road, something which made me feel a little less twitchy. He mentioned the bar we passed - Betsy Trotwood - and how much his Dad loved that joint. I jokingly asked if he ever spent time at home with his son. 

"Heh, yeah." It didn't land. Guess neither of us were comedians. 

I glanced at my phone - Mellissa's phone - along the way, just to try and get some info. Trish Creed and Hannah Sturton only spoke with me in short bursts, nothing too glamorous. Must be acquaintances at best, but they seemed nice enough. I found them on the usual social media platforms; Hannah's in particular looked flashy, the girl loved photography, seemed to be in the States when that hurricane hit about a year back. Plenty of photos of the wreckage, though one photo in particular jumped out for me; she posed with a boy, his hair pretty much a blanket over his eyes. 

"They together?" I asked, showing Rod the image. He shook his head. 

"N'ah. That's a whole other story." 

The buildings and apartments looked quaint, definitely not the style you'd expect in Canada. My pal played tour guide, mentioned the Mount Pleasant post office as we sped past, and the tiny little cafe across the road from it - I think he called it Cafe Maya? Trish apparently loved her coffee, especially since university started. Seemed wired on the stuff now, according to him. I knew the feeling, at least I had a topic to start a conversation with. Cranes dominated the skyline, a whole heap of steel beams carried between them. There was a lot of building going on, which delayed our trip as we slowed to a crawl. Rodriguez gave the girls a quick call to let them know they were stuck, while I scrolled through yet more messages from Angelica; the conversations only went back a few months, maybe this phone was newer than I thought? Plenty of love hearts and x's thrown in there, which made my heart sink. 

Angelica was my - Mellissa's - girlfriend. 

That was going to be a problem. There was no possible way I could go along with that, even if I was in the body of a completely different person. Tanya crossed my mind, I wasn't going to cheat on her, no way! Rodriguez must had noticed when I suddenly stopped talking, my eyes glued to the screen. 

"Don't remember her, huh?" 

"Nope." Much like everything else, really. She looked cute; several dozen photos backed that up. I still felt weird with going through the conversations saved, like I stole somebody's phone and spied on what they said to each other. He pursed his lips and looked away, lost in thought. 

"You don't need to worry; she knows the game more than any of us. She's not gonna be bothered if you tell her you've forgotten." 

"Well that's nice to hear." It wasn't, it just reminded me of my usual process in Toronto; I wouldn't remember Niall or Hayley or Trixie...or even Tanya for the first week or two, and when I did I felt pretty guilty about it. Tanya actually got pretty mad when it took me longer than it usually did to remember her a few years back, that was when the frosty period began. A part of me knew that it never really ended. 

"Just got an update from the girls, now you can say no to this... but Trish really wants you to see their place. Maybe it'll help with the memories." He explained, just as the bus turned. It actually felt like my internal organs were rearranged by the time we got out of the bend. "She's got a banger of a car, but it's four wheels." 

"Can I be dropped back to mine tonight?" I started to accept the fact that this wasn't some sort of elaborate kidnapping scheme, but I still wanted to sleep in the same place if possible. 

"Asking Trish as we speak." He answered, furiously typing on the screen. "She's the kind of gal who likes to ferry people 'round, so she'd have no problem." If she drove as erratically as the bus, I was willing to reconsider where I slept. 

We finally found ourselves at our stop - not that I noticed, obviously. It was Rod who shoved me out of my seat - and I had honestly never been more grateful for solid ground in my entire life. My stomach churned and I held onto the nearest pole to steady myself. The thought of food or coffee almost literally made me sick. My pal asked if I was alright, but I waved him off. At least we didn't have far too walk, based on where Rodriguez pointed; Cafe Presto was tiny, an unassuming entrance only advertised by a bright-red banner, already full if the queue of people gave any sort of indication. I didn't mind standing still for a few more minutes, but my stomach had already begun to settle down. 

"Am I always this nauseous?" I asked, taking our place at the back of the line as Rod whistled a tune to himself, lost in thought. 

"Huh? Yeah it's a usual Mellissa-ism of yours." Crap, I wasn't going to be a fan of the next few trips. Public transport was a no-go for the foreseeable future, then. 

"Wonderful." 

"It'll be more wonderful when this damn line whittles away." He continued, moving awkwardly from side to side to pass the time. He reached for his phone, but the thing slipped from his fingers and hit the ground. The gasp he made was unnatural. 

"Crap crap crap crap crap." It was a real case of Schrodinger's Phone - the screen was face-down, so it was pretty much cracked and not cracked at the same time. Rod breathed a sigh of relief when he finally picked it up, not a scratch to be seen. He was obviously luckier in keeping screens safe than I - than Mellissa - was. Presto was definitely full - it couldn't really hold a lot of people - but we made steady progress towards the door. I was just glad that it wasn't raining, but given the state of the dark clouds overhead, that wouldn't last long. 

"Also, just so you know; Trish and Hannah love talking in western dribble." Rod whispered, so close to the actual door that there must had been a very real chance that they could hear them. "It's going to get very annoying, very fast." 

"I have a funny feeling I'm gonna remember this in a few weeks." I replied. The first few drops of rain fell, just as we made it underneath the canopy. My guide rolled his eyes. 

"Trust me, you'll wanna forget it all over again." 

Thankfully the line of people were only interested in food to-go, because there were actually very few seats inside. As such, there were only two girls who sat by the corner, and the first thing I noticed about both of them was their hair; bright-red locks that looked just a shade darker than Angelica's - her sister, maybe? - while the other was dyed in literally every single color on the spectrum. I just glared at her like an idiot, wondering how in God's name someone had the confidence to actually pull that off. She noticed. 

"Look who decided to finally show up." She began, dead-pan. I was pretty sure she was Hannah. "Been snoozing a while, welcome back." 

"T-Thanks." I suddenly realized that Angelica wasn't there. 

"C'mon, doll!" Trish answered, sipping a coffee in her hand. "Traffic's a nightmare around here. Welcome back, M!" 

"I warned her about the dribble you two do." Rodriguez commented, planting himself in-between them. "Doing good, though." Yes, I was doing oh-so-great. 

"You look like a fish-out-of-water." Hannah continued, scrolling through her phone, ironically not even looking at me. "Grab a seat, gotta lot to fill you in on." 

"Like what?" 

"Got a lot of plans for the summer. Things to do, people to see. Acceptance letters to read and celebrate." I had no clue what she was talking about, but I nodded politely and rolled with it. "A's looking after our flat for a bit, but we'll a spin up there for an hour or two, have you home for Mia and Luis in one piece, promise!" 

"A?" 

"Angelica." Trish chimed in, placing her cup delicately on the table, the steam still rising out of it. "I'm sure Rod's told you all about getting your memories back, so we'll take it nice and slow. No point in forcing things when they'll come back on their own." 

"Shouldn't I have exams?" What were they called over here? GSCE's? A-Levels? 

"Continuous assessment." Rod quipped, resting his legs against another chair he grabbed from the wall. "You'll remember how jealous we all were of you when you start to - " 

"Remember things, got it." 

"The cat's got claws." Hannah opined, amused. She crossed her arms and slouched in her chair while Trish sipped the rest of her drink. It became apparent that we were all waiting for her to finish. She noticed about a minute or so after. 

"I'm not gonna ask them to put this in a takeaway cup, you know." 

"No complaints here. Beats me from having to visit Dad, and his third girlfriend of the year." Hannah replied, rolling her eyes before she messed with Rod's hair. "Liking the mop, lady." 

"Thanks, wanna dye it like yours, but Dad's not fond of it." 

"Not much your Dad can do when you move out, right?" 

"Damn right!" 

"OK, finished the drink, we can talk about your future hair disaster while we drive. Let's get going!" Trish interjected, her handbag in, well, hand. "Don't like to keep A waiting." 

"So, A and M..." I muttered, connecting the dots. "We're seriously not called AM together, right?" 

"It was your idea." Hannah answered, the first outside the front door. "Crap it's raining... Sugar, park a little closer for me and the other chicks!" 

"You can dictate where I park when you pay me petrol money, doll!" Our designated driver shot back, already soaked from the rain. Rod and I had the good grace of remaining underneath the canopy for as long as we could, while both girls ran down the sidewalk towards the car. When it actually parked up for us, I realized that the word car was a pretty generous term to describe the set of wheels Trish had; it was a tiny little Fiat, but not the cute one (I didn't know much about cars) instead looking pretty much like a box. It looked like it could barely squeeze all four of us. No wonder Angelica didn't want to tag along. We inserted ourselves into the back seats, and my fears were confirmed - I was slowly being crushed behind Hannah's front seat and the door. I wound down the window in an effort to breathe. 

"Not too long a journey, M. Hang in there." At least its driver had the good sense to acknowledge that her car was a driving case of claustrophobia. 

One of the good things about this dingy Fiat was the fact that it could wiggle through narrow gaps without too much bother. Trish darted down narrow streets - and scared the living hell out of me, considering that there wasn't a whole lot of metal protecting me from the other parked vehicles outside - before we found ourselves back on a main road. The city stretched out even further for me, and for a brief moment I forgot about my ridiculous dilemma. London looked...pretty, and those red buses looked a lot more appealing when we weren't actually inside them. We also drove pretty much in a straight line, so I didn't feel like my guts were being rearranged by the g-forces. 

Their apartment stood just outside of a university; it was a cul-de-sac of high-rising apartments, with a small rectangular garden at the center of it all. A giant sycamore tree dominated the view, birds darted from branch to branch while people hung around it. The sun started to break through the doom and gloom, and it honestly looked like a pretty amazing place to live. I couldn't help but marvel at it. 

"Fish-out-of-water." Hannah repeated, obviously noticing my sight-seeing. "We don't live in the fancy ones, ours are down at the end of the drive." Sure enough, the apartments there were a lot plainer, though not nearly as disastrous as she made it out to be. 

"Pay enough for it, too." Trish muttered, fully concentrating on her attempt to parallel-park inside an inconvenient space. The Fiat managed it without too much fuss. " 'Right folks, out and about!" I really didn't need to be told twice. My legs tingled from being in such a cramped space for so long, a definite case of pins and needles. Rod seemed like he suffered the same fate. Both girls led the way for us, right towards an elevator. I didn't think my thighs were ready for the number of stairs I saw, anyway. 

"Nothing ringing a bell?" Trish asked. It took me a moment to realize that she was asking me. 

"No, not really." When I ended up back in my own body, was I going to remember any of this? Could I find their social media pages when I came to? I was beginning to relax, they all seemed like lovely people. The real Melissa was in good company. 

"No rush..." 

The doors opened on the 4th floor, and I relied on both University girls to show us where to go, though Rod obviously knew where he was heading. I was getting tired of being the odd one out. We finally hit the door to their apartment, and inside it was... well... an acquired taste; the first thing I noticed was the smell of incense, almost overpowering. Sure enough, I spotted it resting on the fireplace, just beside the frankly giant TV that was placed on the wall. The couch was covered in blankets of trippy, while a giant plush teddy sat alongside it on the floor. It must have easily been four or so feet. 

Then I noticed the girl who walked in from the kitchen, and I stopped caring about the teddy; it was Angelica alright, her hair tied back into a bun, even paler than Trish. It looked like she had just gotten up, still in her sweats. She moved right past us as she sat on the sofa, pre-occupied. 

"Welcome home!" She called out, though she didn't make any eye contact with us. " M's here, right?" Of course I - she - was here. Couldn't she see... 

"Standing right in front of you, like a - " 

"Fish-out-of-water. Yeah you've said that already." I interjected, but it was the sound of my voice that made Angelica's face light up. She stood right back up again, her arms outstretched in a wide arc, and she pulled me into the tightest hug I had ever received from a human being. When she pulled back, I noticed that she only looked vaguely in my direction. 

Angelica was blind. 

"Your folks called, told me you made it home in one piece." She said. I honestly didn't know what to say. 

"Y-yeah." 

"I suppose you're still getting your bearings." 

"You can say that." 

"Make yerselves at home, got some coffee coming up so grab a mug." Trish called from the kitchen, mingled with the clinging of cutlery. 

"We just had coffee, sugar!" Hannah whined, but something whizzed in the background to answer her - the sound of an espresso machine. It wasn't as up-to-date as my folks one in Toronto, but my stomach finally settled enough to try something. I suddenly realized how tired I felt...well not tired per se, just exhausted from everything I had to process. Trish passed along a cup anyway - she read my mind - and showed me the kitchen in all its splendor; it was the size of a cube, but that hardly mattered when that machine oozed caffeine into a cup. I sipped it slowly, it tasted amazing. Rodrigez sat next to the teddy, wrapped in his arms. We eventually huddled around the sofa. At least my hands were distracted with the cup in my hands, though Angelica's were wrapped around me. I felt a pit in my stomach, thinking of Tanya the entire time. 

"So, what' you think?" Trish asked. I didn't know if she meant the coffee, the house, how I felt in general, or all of the above. Still, I answered in the only way I could. 

"Great." (A blanket statement.) 

"Good. Now that you've been re-introduced, time to plan our summer!" Angelica's sister was a bundle of energy, I wished coffee had the same effect on me. Even so, I didn't want to be thrust into the middle of these grand plans. Didn't really have much choice at the end of the day, though. 

"Might fly over to see how Percy and Malc are getting on." Hannah commented. Trish jotted it down immediately. That involved a plane ticket - several hundred pounds, if not thousands - as well as any spending money. Maybe if I got Mellissa a part-time job by the time she got her body back, she'd have some sort of savings for it. The pit in my stomach turned into a knot, though. 

"Okay, so there goes our entire budget. Any domestic visits?" 

"Anything by the beach." Angelica chimed in, adjusting her hair. "Beats going to the same place again and again." 

"Don't think my girl has another long-distance trip left in her." I didn't disagree with Trish's assessment of her car. "But I spent enough time cooped up in the library, a trip like that wouldn't go amiss. Gotta pick one of the three days where the blasted sun's actually shining." 

"Says the doll who wears Factor 50 on an overcast day." Hannah opined, smirking to herself. 

"Says the sugar who'll be wrinkled and aged by the time she's 40, while I'll still be an ageless beauty." 

"And humble about it, too." 

"I think you both look great!" Angelica added, and both girls looked at her with...shock? The girl had a wicked sense of humor. 

"I'm not going to bother with a response." Her sister muttered, and Angelica smirked, satisfied. 

The time flew, because I was honestly invested in what they wanted to do. I still wanted to call my mom in Toronto and to message Niall - even if both options were unfeasible right now - but Rod and the girls microwaved some popcorn, watched a cheesy BBC movie or two, and gossiped about anything and everything. Apparently, Brittany Matthews was a complete bitch. I had no idea who this girl was, but I was assured that I would. I didn't even notice the sun going down until it was dark outside, but I didn't worry. It was the first time since I woke up as this girl that I felt...fine. 

"Gee, would you look at the time?" Trish called out, just as oblivious the the time passing as I was. "C'mon M, gotta get you back to yours." I turned to Angelica, who looked like she was fighting off sleep. She was cuddled against the sofa, her arms wrapped around the cushion. The real Melissa really lucked out with this girl. 

"Yeah, sure."