Sir David Attenborough Explores

”We're being very quiet now, sitting here in our observation spot which our wonderful crew has very cleverly disguised as a lapageria rosea. The scent from the blossoms is simply lovely this time of the year.

We're being very careful not to make noise as we've spotted a young male lurking in the abundant shrubbery right about where we left out bait. Now, as the species is getting rather rare in urban areas, the numbers having dropped from the 1980s and 1990s haydays to a pitiful handful in this particular London suburb, we've taken great care to consult both international and regional experts when devising our bait. Now the current international standard is to use some sort of warm food to lure a specimen, but there are vast regional differences and we also had the weather to contend with. So with a consultation from our regional expert, doctor Paddy O'Haddock, we were advised to either use a curry – a very popular option that would no doubt attract a wide variety of creatures – or Twizzlers, which we are using now. This was to ensure that should we need to leave our position and come back tomorrow, our bait would remain pristine. And-

Ah, we are now seeing one approach our bait! So obviously our faith was not misplaced! Would you look at that marvelous thing! Such a glossy black mane. Beautiful!

He is now circling the Twizzler package very carefully, inspecting the edges of it. Marvelous… look at the slender limbs and the remarkably tight jeans. Incredible!. Everyone in the crew is simply holding their breaths in anticipation. Yes, the young emo is reaching down with a simply elegant white hand to pick up the Twizzlers.

But wait... wait, there is more movement in the bushes! Could it be that our bait has lured more than one emo out in the open? How wonderful! The emos are so timid during the day and rarely venture out of their woodland hideaways so this would be extraordinary. It is! It is another emo, and from the looks of it, a young female! Such a beautiful creature with her robust black hair and a very striking corset. She appears to have decorated her crown with black feathers. Remarkable.

Ah, alas, it appears this specimen is not happy. She has placed her hands on her hips and is calling to the young male. The young male has stopped moving. The Twizzlers are still on the ground. I believe the male might be putting forth some sort of a counter argument. It appears the female doesn't approve of the Twizzlers. Now, there might be any number of reasons why an emo would reject a food item, most often unfamiliarity as they are very heavily reliant on small set of food items throughout their life. There also could be a far more individual, even life threatening reason; it's all too possible that the female is reminding the male of this potential. We couldn't know. But they are such clever creatures. Very particular and knowledgeable of what to eat, avoiding things they know are not good for them.

The female if now displaying a stern stare and the male is retreating back into the shrubbery. What a shame. What. A shame. But we must be grateful of having been able to spot not one, but two, a couple no less, after such a short wait. And look, the crew is simply mesmerized. We're all smiling here. Beautiful. Such wonderful creatures.

I think we will need to head back to our lodgings and continue with our observation at a later date as the wind seems to be picking up and the visibility from our little hideyhole will drop near nil after sunset.”


“As we returned to our observation spot the following day, we found our bait gone and in its stead a note left under a rock. I will read the note to you. It says:


Thanks for the Twizzies. They were aces. Missus doesn't like me bringing home sweets when she's already made dinner, but she doesn't need to know everything, does she?


Daemonhunter (aka Dan)”