"How is she...?"

"Mrs Carter, your daughter has suffered extensive blood loss. Jess will need a tranfusion. We are getting concerned that she is getting very withdrawn. I have asked for the hospital psychiatric team to do a valuation on her..."

"She doesn't need to see a shrink!"

"I beg to differ Mrs Carter...because this isn't the first time Jess has been in this situation...is it? It's, by MY records, the third time"

...

Hi, I'm Jess, where do I begin...Oh...I was really jealous of that girl at college, the one who always seems to get the guy.

She is Robin Wray. She's all curly hair and pink lipstick. She dresses to impress and always has the guys running after her in the locker halls.

Oh and, oh yeah, there's also Sadie Harmer. She's a friend of Robin. Part of her clique if you will. Her hair is long and dark and always dons skirts that are not much more than belts. Legs that go on and on forever.

And SHE gets the guys too.

Me...well, they (Robin and Sadie) tolerate me I suppose. They let me tag along after them, but both of them laugh and giggle at me because I can never get a boyfriend.

Well, I can start with what happened a few Months ago...

At the time I DID get a boyfriend, but Robin got him off his face and gave him a blow job. She did that because I said I wouldn't complete her course work for her.

Russ (The boyfriend) wouldn't stop apologising the next day at college. But he was far from sorry because during a free period Robin was in with him getting more of the same in a toilet cubicle.

But still, after ALL THAT, I'm jealous...why is that THEY can get the guys and not me?

I'm not that unattractive...my hair is brown and comes to my shoulders. I wear tight jeans and tiny tops that TRY to show off my breasts. Even if they are on the small side.

I don't wear much makeup or lipstick...but Mom said I looked beautiful with out it.

Oh...oh yeah...I DO wear specs. Only at college mind. When I go out to a club with Sadie and Robin I always make an effort and wear my contacts.

It was at a club I met him. I can't remember his name...but he was so handsome. I can still picture him standing in that nightclub with the music playing the lights flashing and the clubbers dancing around him like he never existed.

His hair was short and cropped to how most guys wore their hair at college. It was jet black. His eyes were dark as well, and they each shone like diamonds.

And his smile. His smile made me want to smile.

His Tshirt was tight on him, but it clearly showed how much this guy worked out. His jeans were dark and his boots were polished and unlaced.

...

"Jess WAKE UP! The doctor is saying you have to see a shrink! Come on! What is wrong with you! GET THE DOCTOR! SHE IS SO COLD!"

Go away Mom! I just want to tell everybody about this guy.

The funny thing was that nobody seemed to take much notice of him. Infact NO notice of him, because like I said before, it was like he never existed.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

That's what he said to me...but it was strange that his lips never moved...it was like he was speaking in my mind and his voice was deep and so calm...so masculine.

I said yes of course. I was under his spell right from the start.

I remember I was glad I wore that tiny dress that reached my thighs, and was wearing the only top that shaped my breasts.

I followed him to the bar. He sort off...drifted...people seemed to part the way ahead even though it was like they couldn't see him...like he was an unseen presence.

The bartender saw him, because he served him and he ( I still can't remember his name) bought me a rum and coke and he had nothing.

I asked him why he picked me and not, shall we say, the likes of Robin and Sadie.

"I like you...you have a good heart...but you look kinda sad...you looked like you needed cheering up"

I followed him to the corner and I said I'd not seen him before.

"I'm new in town. But I've been watching you Jess...I've been watching how they treat you..."

God he was ripped. He was so toned. The way he stood beside me made me feel safe and I had never ever had got that feeling off a guy before. Not that as I said, had that much experience.

He looks down at me and tilts his head, those wonderful eyes smiling at me.

"You want to take a walk...outside..."

I jumped at an instant. And made a beeline for Robin and Sadie and told them about (Still can't recall his name) and I was out with him taking a walk.

What guy? There is NO guy, that was what Sadie kept geering at me sharply as she squeezed the thigh of a footballer jock beside her.

It was dark. I was cold. But he put his leather jacket around me. To keep me warm and wore off the November night chill. It was icy for sure, and there was white frost appearing on the grass.

Was it that late already.

I can just remember his warm breath near my neck. He whispers calm things in my ear and then I sway and feel all warm and nice.

OH...that was the first time I ended up in the hospital!

Some clubbers had called an ambulance because they said I was lying in the park. I was cold and white as a sheet.

Mom said I was white as a sheet when she came to the hospital. And the ER doctors kept on asking her if I was anaemic or something.

...

"Jess! Come on wake up now...please..."

"I have to call time on this..."

"KEEP TRYING...YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING!"

...

All this fuss.

Well. After I was discharged from hospital the first time round, I went home and told Mom about him. The guy at the club.

Mom told me I was stupid. That there was no guy.

She was just like Sadie and Robin. She thinks I can never get a guy because I am so unattractive.

At college, Robin and Sadie never said a word about what happened at the club. I asked them about the guy I was with and they said there was NEVER a guy there. I was just standing on my own and looking like a wishful thinking saddo like I usually do.

Oh yeah...It was when I got back to college was when I realised that I had lost my shadow. It was a sharp cold sunny day and when I walk to college, my shadow is long and always ahead of me.

Not now.

Everybody else still has...but not me...since I left the hospital...I have no shadow.

Anyway...I do get carried away, don't I...back to the story...it was a little before Christmas when I saw this guy again. (god, what was his name)

I was out with Mom at the mall and we were doing our seasonal shopping for gifts. (I still had no shadow but didn't care by then)

Mom went to get a gift from a store we were passing and I stayed outside in the mall and watched as kids were lining up to see Santa in his colorful grotto.

My eyes wandered and I saw HIM again.

He was leaning up against the wall staring right back at me. And he was smiling. And he looked good in his tight checkered shirt and his navy blue turnup jeans and his polished doc marten black boots that were always unlaced.

He came over...or drifted...because it seemed that he was at my side at a blink of an eye.

"Jess...it's good to see you again..."

I ask him where he had been and that why nobody could see him.

"Jess, time is relative...what does it matter? And why would YOU want your heartless cruel friends to see me? Wouldn't they like a piece of me..."

God I felt lite. The hustle and bustle of the mall was going on around me but it was all like a blur...that it was all in the background and it was just HIM and me.

God, he smelt so good...what was that aftershave?

"Do you want to take a walk...?"

I nodded yes. He seemed unaware of the comings and goings around us. His smile was only for me. He stops at a jewellery store and points into the glass.

"I have seen you look at that necklace so many times Jess...I've watched you...your eyes light up when you see it..."

Fat chance...It was several thousand dollars and Mom would never buy me it for Christmas or my Birthday that fell on the same day.

"How it would look on you Jess...how it would sit nicely around that beautiful neck of yours"

I felt all dreamy. I was swaying because I was feeling all hot. I was totally lost in (really I should bang up my head against a brick wall...WHAT WAS HIS NAME!) his eyes...they were shiney...keeping mine fixed with his. The necklace was in his hands, and whilst I stood there not being able to move, he was behind me fastening up the clasp and the necklace was around me.

His mouth was close to my neck as he whispered in to my ear, "It looks good...like it was especially made for you..."

His voice was in my head...his lips...they never seemed to move...his hot breath was on my neck and I felt like I was going to explode down there.

I was on the hard cold floor of the mall. There were shoppers flapping around me. All I could see when I looked up was faces and gift bags and the angel that sat on the 10 foot Christmas tree that stood like a beacon in the mall.

I was in hospital again because I passed out. And the doctors in the ER had to give me an emergency blood transfuson.

I was so pale. Deathly pale, Mom told me. She was so worried.

...

Well...Christmas was spent in the hospital...but well...I had no choice.

When I was discharged, I stayed at home for a few weeks and then went back to college. Robin told me that everyone at college had thought I had lost it. That I was ready for the funny farm because of my funny turns.

Oh...I haven't mentioned that, besides as not having a shadow, I have no reflection in the mirror either!

But I didn't let it worry me.

Would anybody care?

It was February when I saw him again. This time it was at home.

...

"Jess...you have got to pull yourself together honey, the doctors think you needed to see a shrink...once you tell them all about HIM...the guy that is only a figment of your imagination...then they WILL put you away...you do know that, don't you...all will you ever hear me again...?"

...

Why is she sobbing?.

Anyway...the final time I saw him was at home. I said just now, didn't I.

I had had a long hard day. First College, then working a shift in the store on the corner. The owner is a friend of Moms.

I let myself in and I go upstairs to grab a shower. Then I go to my bedroom to towel off. HE was there!

He was standing there with a freezing cold chill coming in through the belcony windows. The french doors were open and HE was letting the lace curtain flap around him.

"It's time Jess...It's time"

I am self conscious of course. I only had a dolphin patterned towel around me and my hair was hanging damp.

"Are you a virgin Jess? Have you had a guy inside you?"

I was well shocked. This was too much. Too forward.

"How you have dreamt of having ME inside you...I've watched you Jess...I've watched you"

I was in a whirl. I saw pictures in my mind where I had shoved my fingers inside me and thought about HIM.

"I can make real that fantasy...how you picture it now...in your mind"

HE can read my mind too? Who the hell was this guy? I am abit angry at him. I ask him how he got onto my belcony to my room and how he had unlatched the lock.

Glass. Yeah well. It was like the time in the mall at Christmas, wasn't it? He had snapped up that necklace by putting his hand through the glass like it was water. Just like the glass in the french doors.

"You are angry I know. But I bring you no harm, Jess, I need you to believe that"

HE wasn't smiling no more. His face was serious and he looked older. Not adult older...but more mature. Like he wasn't playing games.

"Close your eyes..."

I closed them. I was under his spell. I was ALWAYS under his spell.

HE came and stood in front of me. I could smell his aftershave. I could feel his hot breath in my face.

And then I felt the towel drop.

"Keep your eyes shut"

His voice calm as always. In my head as always.

I felt his hands on my breasts. He was squeezing them gently. Then his hands moved to my back and I felt his lips on my own.

A metallic taste.

Strange.

I felt giddy. I was wet. And his hand was there to cup it.

I never felt this alive. I wanted to open my eyes but I could not...it was like some unseen force was keeping them closed.

"Do you want me in you Jess? Do you crave for what you fanticise over everynight...?"

I shake my head. Yes Yes Yes.

He lowers me to the bed and spreads my legs apart. Pain. I feel Pain...but it was dulled somehow.

I want to open my eyes. But it was like glue.

I feel hot and giddy as sharp pain shudders up me. I feel like I have been scratched all over. Please please please...I want to open my eyes.

"Then open them"

He was leaning over me. His chest was bare. Toned. His face smeared with what looked like blood.

My neck...my neck, it hurt so much.

And I wanted to scream when I saw the amount of blood that was spilled out over the sheets around me.

I looked down to see the opening between my legs. Blood ran and pooled on the duvet.

My fingers were on my neck...my pulse... and I realised how much blood was running down my shoulders and soaking into the bed sheets.

"It will stop soon Jess...you need not worry"

He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead and held my eyes. His eyes were dark and alluring. And he finally smiled...his pupils jet black...sharp needle like points in the corners of his mouth.

And then I felt him inside me...the thrusts...he made me feel alive...I was wanting to explode when he pulled out...the wettness the cum the blood.

I don't remember what happened after that. Only that I ended up in the hospital, AGAIN.

I don't remember anyone coming in and calling the ambulance.

...

"I can't believe this...how am I ever going to get over this"

"It will be hard Mrs Carter...but please use the hospital chapel if it gives you comfort at this sad time"

And I suddenly seemed to know what was going on now. Why was Mom standing over me. Why was she carrying her rosary beeds.

I can smell the disaffectant.

The man standing beside Mom isn't a doctor at all, it was Father what's his face...the priest. Only now I can see what was going on.

Mom leaned over and kissed me on the cheek...didn't she see my eyes were open? She then turned her back on me and all I could hear was the click of her heels on the tiles.

"Mom? Mom where are you going? MOM?

And that was when it happened.

That was when the body tray was pushed back into the ice cold fridge and the door to the mortuary drawer was slammed shut.

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THE END