“Come on, Meg. We’ve just taken our final exams. If that isn’t cause for celebration I don’t know what is.” My best friend Stacey looked up at me from behind long lashes, her baby blues pleading with me. The puppy dog eyes worked on men without fail, but I’d known her for eleven years. Her charms had no power over me.

Still, the lure of a night drinking and dancing couldn’t be ignored. And Stacey was right. We’d been slaving away on our degrees for months. We deserved a night out.

“All right, but let’s not make it a late one, okay? I’ve got work in the morning.”

“We’ll go to O’Neil’s. There’s a band playing; it’ll be fun.”

“Oh no, not O’Neil’s. That place is a dive.”

“I like it.” Stacey pouted. Another trick she used to get her own way. I could see why men found it adorable, and I knew men was exactly what she had in mind.

“You only want to go there because it’s where all the gym junkies hang out, and you’re hoping to snare one.”

“Have you seen some of the guys that go there? There’s this one, Josh Browne, he’s an MMA fighter and OH.MY.GOD. You should see his body.”

I laughed and shook my head. I could appreciate a hot body as much as the next girl. Hell, I’d been charmed by a pair of biceps and a few well-placed tattoos in the past.

“Okay, we’ll go to O’Neil’s. You can pull an MMA fighter, and everyone will be happy.”

Stacey grinned. “You know I love ya?”

“Love you too.”

Stacey swung her shopping bags over her shoulder. “Okay, be at mine for about nine.”

“Will do.” I gave her a little wave as she left the coffee shop, and went back to making sandwiches.

Working in a coffee shop wasn’t how I envisioned my life when I moved out of my parents’ and to the city, but it paid the bills. Besides, it was only for a few more months. When I completed my graphic design degree, I could move onto bigger and better things. I’d saved enough money to take an extended break backpacking across Europe. Then I’d polish my portfolio and start looking for work. I had it all planned out, and hoped to have a steady income, and buy my first place by the time I was thirty. Seven years, four months, and sixteen days to go!

 

When I arrived at Stacey’s the thrum of bass coming from her flat told me our night out wasn’t going to be just a few drinks in O’Neil’s and an early night. Girl was about to get her party on. When Stacey answered the door, her outfit confirmed my suspicions; she was wearing silver plunge-neck playsuit that left very little to the imagination. It certainly made me feel less apprehensive about my burgundy cowl-neck halter-top, leather look trousers and wine-coloured high-heels.

“Come get a drink,” she said, pulling me into the living room, where she had numerous alcopops and shots ready on the table.

A bottle of WKD and accompanying shots later, we were climbing into a taxi and heading to O’Neil’s. We arrived just as a dark Mercedes with tinted windows pulled up. The small gaggle of people outside the club having a cigarette before entering whipped around to see who the new arrival was, and beside me Stacey stood on her tip-toes to see above the crowd.

When the door opened, and a blond guy in a leather jacket climbed out, Stacey grabbed my wrist.

“Oh my god, it’s him,” she hissed. “Josh Browne.”

I looked over at Josh, who was entering O’Neil’s with an older guy in his mid-forties. Both of them were wearing designer labels, and looked pretty ripped under their outfits. Josh’s blond hair was spiked, and a hint of stubble covered his chin. I had to give it to Stacey, he was cute.

When the commotion of two local celebrities arriving died down, the O’Neil’s doorman continued to admit regular patrons, and Stacey and I filed in.

The normally lively club was positively heaving with activity as a band set up on the main stage, and customers milled around.

Grabbing Stacey’s arm so that she’d follow me instead of staring at Josh, I dragged her to the bar, and bought the first round. Then, drinks in hand, I found a table close enough to see the band. Knowing she’d kill me otherwise, I took the chair that meant I had my back to Josh’s table, leaving her the one facing in his direction. She grinned, straightened her outfit to make sure an ample amount of cleavage was showing, and sat down.

When the band started playing, I got swept up in the music, not noticing if Stacey was watching too, or if she was still staring at Josh. Instead, I allowed all the stresses of the week to fade away in a haze of alcohol and guitar riffs.

Uni and work were a distant memory, I was glad Stacey convinced me to come out. She was right, it was just what I needed. As I got to the bottom of my alcopop, my body relaxed and a sense of well-being wash over me.

Stacey went to buy another round, and on her way there, conveniently passed Josh’s table. As she walked beside where he was sitting, she wiggled her hips and winked at him. I had to give her credit, she sure didn’t play around when she wanted something. She returned a few minutes later with two drinks; grinning from ear to ear.

“Was he looking?” she asked, sliding a bottle over to me.

“Couldn’t take his eyes off you, Stace.”

Stacey giggled and sipped her drink.

The band continued, and the club filled up, until the small dance floor in front of the stage was cram-packed. I was glad I’d found us a decent table. In fact, Stacey and I took turns visiting the loo or bar, so that the table was never left unattended. It was a system we’d long ago perfected to ensure no-one nicked our seats.

I’d just finished my drink, and was about to ask Stacey if she wanted another, when her gaze snapped up to a place behind me, and her cheeks flushed. I turned to see Josh walking towards us.

“Can I get you a drink?” he said to Stacey, virtually ignoring me.

Not that I minded. I knew this was the moment she’d been waiting for, and turned away as Josh whispered something in her ear.

That's when I first spotted him.

He was sat at the table Josh had come from, chatting to the older man Josh had arrived with. His short dark hair was shaved at the sides, and styled into a faux hawk at the front. But it was his piecing blue eyes that held me transfixed.

I found myself unable to stop staring at him. I watched as he chatted to his friends, then went to the bar for more drinks.

He was wearing casual black trousers, with polished loafers and a white t-shirt, which made the sleeve of tattoos on both his arms stand out in contrast. He seemed keenly aware of his appearance and took pride in looking good.

He had a confident air about him in whatever he was doing. The simple tilt of his head as he spoke, or the way he raised his glass to his lips whenever he took a sip of his drink oozed self-assurance. It was almost as if he knew he belonged where he was and was challenging those around him to say otherwise.

Not that I could blame him for his self-confidence. The little I did know about MMA fighters told me that to be the best, you had to be in prime physical condition and at the top of your game. With a chiselled jawline, muscular frame and cocky smile, he certainly was that.

During a more steamy song, I found myself imagining what it would feel like to run my fingers over that seemingly perfect body. What would it be like to feel the taught muscles of his toned chest under my fingertips? What might it be like for him to sweep me off my feet in those strong arms?

I shook the fantasy from my head, and took a swig of my drink like I hadn’t just been mentally undressing the guy. But not before I'd caught him looking at me from the corner of my eye, a devilish smirk on his face.

A distraction from my fantasies arrived in the form of Stacey, who had a 'cat that's got the cream' look on her face.

“You'll never guess what's just happened?”

“Go on, tell me,” I said, playing along. I just knew she had something she wanted to share.

“Josh just gave me his hotel room number, and told me to come over when the club closes.”

“No way! That was quick,” I replied, knowing how much she liked him. “You can give me all the details tomorrow.”

Stacey grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “Oh, I will.”

Despite being one of the kindest people I knew, Stacey had terrible taste in men, and her last boyfriend has been a real loser. I wasn't surprised when he broke her heart, but it had still caused me pain to see her slumped on the sofa, crying her eyes out. I just hoped this one turned out differently for her, even if it was just a one night thing.

With the distraction from my thoughts that Stacey had offered, I was able to tear my eyes away from him.

Pull yourself together, Megan.

Trying to take my own advice, I grabbed Stacey’s hand and pulled her onto the dancefloor.

“But our table?” she said, before gulping down the rest of her drink.

“Sod it. We came out to have fun, right? What fun is sitting at a table all night? Let’s dance.”

Stacey didn’t need asking twice, and when the band started playing a cover of a song she loved, it was like a sign from the universe. Never letting go of her hand, I twirled Stacey around like a ballet dancer, before pulling her to me, where she collapsed against me and we both startled giggling. Ignoring the fact we were completely out of sync to the music, Stacey and I continued our bizarre dance of twirling each other around, and shimmying under the other’s extended arm. When the song changed, we started doing the funky chicken-wing dance instead; our left hands on the back of our heads with our arms bent and our right hands holding our right ankles with the legs bent. We looked like complete idiots, but we didn’t care.

We stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the night, only leaving to visit the bar or loo. All thoughts of the guy I’d seen at Josh Browne’s table forgotten. As the bar called last orders, and the band finished their set, I didn’t even notice the guys from the gym leave. All I could think about was getting home, and climbing into my warm bed.

With that thought firmly implanted in my mind, I yawned and headed to the loo. I found Stacey outside the toilets, sitting on a battered leather couch, applying a fresh coat of lip gloss.

“So, you still meeting up with Josh, huh?”

She beamed at me in reply. “Of course. He's hot, and I'm not turning down an opportunity like this. You know, Meg, he has some friends. Maybe you should walk with me to the hotel and see what happens?”

“Oh, come off it, Stace. No one is going to pay me any attention with you around.” I dismissed her suggestion with a wave at her outfit.

“Yeah right. Guys were checking you out all night,” she insisted, before asking, “Will you walk with me anyway? I know it's only a few streets away, but I don't really fancy going alone at this time of night. You can call a taxi from the hotel.”

“Sure,” I replied, with a lazy sigh, as I pulled on my coat. Maybe the fresh night air would help me clear my head.

“Bloody hell, it’s colder than Mr Freeze’s balls out here,” Stacey said as we stepped out of the club, and headed in the direction of the hotel Josh was staying at.

“Serves you right for not bringing a proper coat.” The flimsy piece of material Stacey called a jacket barely came to her waist, and I was glad I’d thought to bring something more sensible. Fastening the buttons right up to my neck, I popped the collar to give me some added warmth.

“Well, don’t be a coat hog. Share with me.” Forcing me to unfasten the buttons I’d just done up, I opened the coat and Stacey huggled up to me, so we were wearing one arm each, and staggering down the road like we were in some bizarre sack race.

“I love you, you know that right?”

I laughed. “You always love me when you want something or you’re drunk. Or both!”

“No, I’m serious. You came out tonight, even though you were unsure-”

“Oh yeah, a night of drinking and dancing. Such a sacrifice. You really needed to twist my arm.”

“Yeah, but we came to O’Neil’s because I wanted to, and you haven’t minded me talking about Josh all night.”

“I know you’d do the same if the roles were reversed.”

“Totally. The roles should be reversed. Why weren’t you out there, getting invited back to guy’s hotels?”

“And take the spotlight away from you? You’d never forgive me,” I teased.

We arrived at the hotel to find it pretty much deserted. The only people there were the night staff. Assuming Josh was already in his room, I wished Stacey good luck, and then watched in amusement as she bounded over to the lift on her way to meet ‘her guy.’

With nothing else to do – the hotel bar being closed, so I couldn't even stop in for a night cap – I decided to make my way outside and find a taxi to take me home.

I hoped, as I was stood outside a hotel, one would show up fairly soon. I was wrong. After waiting fifteen minutes, there was still no signs of any vehicles on the road, let alone a taxi. The night air now was now even colder than when Stacey and I had left the club, and I thanked God I'd worn a decent coat.

After another five minutes of waiting, I decided to call the local taxi company. As I pulled my phone from my handbag, I found the battery was completely flat.

 “God damn it.”

Then, to make matters worse, it began to rain.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me?”

With a sigh, I pulled my coat tighter around my body, and resigned myself to the hour's walk that now faced me. I briefly considered heading back to the club, but knew it’d be all closed up by now.

With my feet aching from wearing heels all night, I began walking away from the hotel. With the rain falling more heavily by the second, when I got to the end of the street I was soaked to the bone. Frustrated, I looked over at the club, and as I passed the entrance, I was in no doubt everyone had gone home long ago.

I was shivering with cold and my feet were beginning to blister. I knew by the time I finally reached home, I’d be sick come morning.

I checked my phone again, and it blinked into life for an instant, before going dead. Shoving it back in my bag, I dug out my purse to see how much money I had in there. All I had left was the crumpled tenner I’d been planning to pay for a taxi with. Doubting I’d get one now, and wanting somewhere to wait out the rain, I headed for the chip-shop around the corner from O’Neil’s. Maybe kebab meat and chips would warm me up.

Apparently, everyone else who’d been in O’Neil’s had the same idea, and when I entered Tasty Plaice, the queue almost reached the door. I joined the back of the line, glad to be out of the cold and rain.

I’d almost reached the front of the queue, when raucous laughter drew everyone’s attention to the main door, where the guys who’d been with Josh Browne entered – including the one I’d been checking out earlier.

Just my luck. I cursed inwardly. I run into one on the most attractive guy I've seen in a long time, and I look like a drowned rat.

Trying to blend into the background, I turned back to the counter and hoped he wouldn’t notice me. A few seconds later, I was startled when someone flung their arms around my shoulders.

“Alright darlin’.” His Irish brogue caused goosebumps to form on the back of my neck, and when I turned to see who it was, I almost chocked.

“Erm Hi. Do I know you?” Of course I knew him, I’d briefly imagined being this close to him. The reality was far better than my earlier fantasy. Up close, his muscles looked huge, and the tattoos were like a work of art laid out on the bare flesh. Still, it didn’t explain why he seemed to know me.

“Sure. You’re the chick from O’Neil’s. Your friend hooked up with Brownie.”

“Josh Browne?” My reply came out as a squeak, and I stared at my shoes to keep from making eye-contact with him.

“Yeah, Josh is my training buddy.”

 “So you’re an MMA fighter too?” I asked, pretending like I hadn’t already figured that out earlier when I’d been daydreaming about him.

“Kian Murphy, Welterweight Champion at your service.”

It was good to finally put a name to the face, and I offered him a shy smile. “Nice to meet you, Kian. I’m Megan.”

“Believe me, the pleasure is all mine,” Kian said with a wink, as we reached the counter. Then he turned to the server. “Can I get a doner meat and chips with chilli sauce, and whatever the lady’s having?”

“I’ll just get a bag of chips, thanks,” I said, pulling the money from my pocket.

Before I even had the chance to hand it to the server, Kian’s hand covered mine.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks.” I sheepishly took my chips, and headed to the only available seat in the room, which was right by the door that didn’t close properly. No wonder no one wanted it.

Surprising me, Kian followed. “Scooch over then,” he said.

The chair was barely big enough for me, let alone two people, but I couldn’t refuse those pleading blue eyes, so I perched on the edge and Kian sat next to me, our arms brushing. As I began eating, I noticed the guys Kian had arrived with were still near the back of the queue, and it suddenly dawned on me why he’d been so nice.

“Oh my god. You used me to line hop,” I blurted out,

Kian burst out laughing and took a swig from his can of Coke. “I wondered if anyone would notice.”

“And all that, about being Josh Browne’s training buddy was to lure me into a false sense of security so I wouldn’t figure out what you were doing?”

“Yeah, but I was telling the truth, too. He really is my training buddy.”

“Sly bastard.”

“Hey, I paid for you chips, didn’t I?”

“You used me to cut the queue. I’d hardly call paying for a measly bag of chips even. Which, by the way, I only asked for so I wouldn’t seem rude ordering everything on the menu.”

Kian laughed. “All right, how ‘bout I make it up to ya? I’ll give ya a ride home. I called a taxi before coming in, it’ll be here soon. We can swing by yours first.”

“You don’t even know where I live. It could be miles away.”

“It makes no difference to me,” he said with a cocked eyebrow. “So do ya wanna get out of the rain or not?”

I hesitated for a second, thinking what a bad idea this probably was, and was about to decline when a drop of water cascaded down my back, causing me to shiver.

“Okay. Thanks. I'd really appreciate it.”

Kian said nothing more, but simply nodded his head and carried on eating. When our polystyrene containers were empty, I went and chucked them in the bin, then awkwardly stood back as Kian spoke to his mates. I couldn’t hear what they were saying above the noise of chatter and the radio playing, but one of the guys looked over at me and grinned. My cheeks burned. I felt like a rare animal on show.

What must they be thinking? I wondered. Do they think we’re going home together?

I was about to tell Kian I’d changed my mind, when I looked outside, and saw how heavy the rain was.

Sod it. Let them talk. I wanna be warm and dry!

Kian and I stepped outside just as the taxi pulled up.

“Where we headed?” he asked, as we climbed inside.

I told Kian my address, and he turned to the driver, “Alright Baz? Can we make a detour to Aldridge Avenue?”

“Sure mate, no problem.”

“Do you know everyone?” I asked with a laugh.

“Nah, it just seems like it. Baz is a regular at fights, and he got me my leather jacket back after an all-nighter. After that, he’s my go-to taxi guy.”

We'd been driving for about ten minutes when Kian said, “So, can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t know. Depends what the question is.”

Kian laughed. “Do you make a habit of getting into cars with strangers?”

I turned to face him, and couldn't suppress the giggle that passed my lips at his cocky expression. “Actually I do, is that a problem for you?”

He shook his head in amusement, and laughed deeply. The sound made me laugh too, it seemed so carefree.

“Seriously, though, I don't do this all the time. It was either get a ride with a stranger or risk pneumonia.”

He chuckled again, causing the butterflies in my stomach to lay eggs, and more butterflies hatched, until it felt like I was housing an insectarium or something.

“Next question,” he said after a few moments. “What do you do? I mean, besides getting into cars with strangers?”

“I’m sure you don’t want to know about my monotonous life of studying at uni and waiting tables.”

I loved what I did, but I’m sure compared to cage fighting, graphic design seemed boring.

“I meant when you’re not working?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” I replied with a shrug. Kian’s eyes focused on me made me squirm in my seat. “Going out for dinner, seeing movies, catching up with friends, and erm; what else have I memorized from my CV for awkward situations like this? Oh yeah, I work well as part of a team. What about you?”

“With my schedule? I’d be lucky to get a day off every month. I’m training most days, either that or my sponsor’s on my case about media appearances. If it was up to me, I’d be at home on the sofa, watching TV all day getting fat.”

 “It’s gotta be great though, getting paid to travel? I bet you get to go abroad a fair bit, too, when there's international fights?”

“It depends where you’re going.”

“How come?”

“The last time I went to Japan I got my ass kicked.”

“I thought you guys were meant to be tough?”

“I am fucking tough, but those guys are insane. And they use steroids. Right vicious bastards, they are. One almost bit my ear off. And I swear their legs are made of lead.”

I’d imagined MMA fighters were these macho ‘I’m so hard’ types, but Kian wasn’t. In the short span of time we'd been in the taxi together, I was liking him more and more. The confidence and self-assurance was still there, but now I was beginning to see it was coupled with an ability to laugh at himself and not take life too seriously.

“So, Aldridge, eh? You renting with mates or you got your own place?”

“No, just me. I moved out of my parents’ house a few years ago, and didn't really want to share with anyone else, so I rented a place on my own.”

He nodded, and looked thoughtful for a moment, before asking, “Don’t ya get lonely? I know I really notice the difference when I'm not working.”

“Actually, I quite like it,” I replied. “I still see my parents about once a week, and I have my friends over just as much. But this way, I'm free to do my own thing without worrying about anyone else.”

“That's certainly something I could get used to. It's hard sometimes, working so much, and having everyone else tell you what to do – what time to be at the gym, when you need to travel somewhere.”

“Yeah, but you're doing something you love, right?” I knew how tough it was working a job just to pay the bills

“Oh, of course, I wouldn't give up MMA for the world. There's never been anything else I've wanted to do.”

“You're lucky, not a lot of people find that in life.”

“Yeah, I count my blessing every day.”

Again, we both fell silent, and I began thinking what a well-grounded guy he seemed. He couldn't have been that much older than me – mid-twenties at the most – and yet, he seemed to have his feet firmly on the ground. The downside to all of that was that every second I spoke to him, I found myself more attracted to him.

As if reading my thoughts, Kian suddenly turned to me. “Okay, last question, if I were to ask you out to dinner the next time I'm free, what would your answer be?”

The look of complete certainty on his face made it hard for me to believe he actually thought I'd turn him down.

“I'd say I'd like that very much.”

The grin that passed his lips was unmistakeable. I had to avert my eyes from his, and I willed my heart to stop racing. I had no idea what had come over me, but being in his presence was making me feel extremely giddy.

We continued to make small talk – chatting about what movies we'd seen recently, and the type of music we liked. I was delighted to learn he enjoyed cooking, and had a secret passion for creating his own unique dishes.

As we pulled onto my street, Kian turned to me with a cocky grin and said, “So, are you going to invite me in for coffee, then?”

I laughed out-right at his blatant presumptuousness.

“Sure, but I’ve only got instant.”

He smirked as he climbed out of the taxi, and handed Baz a twenty pound note, then without any more of an invitation, strolled up the pathway to my block of flats.

For a moment, I had to steady myself on the side of the car. For the first time in years I felt like a giggling teenager.

The second my front door closed, Kian took my hands and pulled me to him. Slowly and deliberately he pulled my arms up to wrap around his neck, and his own curled around my waist. Our bodies were just inches apart, and I was sure he would feel my heart thundering in my chest. He seemed unaware of the physical effect he was having on me, as he tilted my head up to meet his.

With an almost smug smile, he lowered his lips to mine, and crushed them against my mouth. The embrace was everything I'd imagined – and hoped – it would be. Passionate, heated, and drawn out. His mouth tasted vaguely of alcohol, which only caused my senses to buzz more. He gently slid his tongue inside my mouth, and the ground gave way underneath me and my legs turned to jelly. My whole body was on fire when his hands crept up my back and then into my hair, and a gentle tugging on my locks caused me to lose any inhibitions I had left. I pressed my body up against his, allowing my leg to snake around his.

He gripped my butt tightly, his tongue delving further into my mouth, and pinned me up against the door. I was dizzy with lust, and breathing heavily when he pulled away from the kiss. It was like I'd just been parted from of a vital part of my existence, and wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on mine again.

He took my hand in his and confidently walked me backwards to the living room. With a light push, he forced me down onto the sofa, and then resumed his assault on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, with a fervent desire to pull his body as physically close to me as possible. As the kiss deepened, he carefully lent me backwards so I was lying on the couch, with his body hard against mine.

His hot lips trailed down my jawline, to explore the planes of my neck and collarbone with a deliberate slowness of his tongue. As he did, my hands reached under his t-shirt, and I longingly caressed the taut, smoothness of his chest.

I became completely lost in a lustful haze, and my breathing was ragged. His hands roamed over my body, to cup my breasts and caress them gently.

Kian unfastened my halter-top, to reveal the black underwear I had on underneath, and then carefully moved the material aside. With a slight tilt of his head, he took my left breast into his mouth, and sucked on the nipple until it was hard.

My body trembled, and I wanted nothing more than to feel the smoothness of his naked skin against mine. He pulled away from the embrace, and rose from the couch. I looked at him with wide, doe-like eyes, but he simply smirked, scooped me up into his arms, and then strode towards the open living room door. With me in his arms, he crossed the hallway in a few quick steps, then led me to the bedroom, where he kicked the door open.

I wanted him desperately.

With utter confidence he carried me to the bed, where he lightly pushed me down onto it. Then, keeping his gaze directly fixed on mine, he began to slowly remove my clothing.

As each garment fluttered to the ground, he stared at my body hungrily – only pausing to lavish more sensuous attention on each of my breasts – until I lay before him completely naked.

With Kian watching me through lust-clouded eyes heat pooled between my legs.

He all but ripped his own clothes off, almost as if daring me to reach out and touch him, and I watched in awe as his perfectly sculptured body was revealed to me. The soft lighting of the dawn sun filtering through the curtains defined every toned muscle of his chest. My eyes wandered down to the array of tattoos on his forearms.

Knowing full well the effect he was having on me, he stepped towards the bed, and lowered himself onto me.

I gasped as he entered me, and my legs involuntary wrapped round his waist, as he buried himself inside me.

His hands reached up, and firmly clasped my shoulders, pinning me flat against the bed, his pace quickening. All I could do to stop myself from screaming out was bite down on my bottom lip and rake my nails along his shoulder blades. I felt the wave of passion cresting, as he drove into me. My back arched up off the bed as he released his hold on my shoulders and forced my leg higher so that he could penetrate me more deeply. My body ached with a feeling that was sensually between pleasure and torture.

My whole body quivered as each thrust pulled me closer to him. It was like a blissful assault I never wanted to end.

Just when I was beginning to think I couldn't take any more, I was tipped over the edge. Climax spread through my body, consuming every part of me and making my toes curl. A few minutes later, he joined me in release, and his full weight collapsed against me. With one smooth movement, he rolled to his side, so that his arm was draped over my stomach and his head was buried in my hair.

Almost instantly, we both drifted off into a deep and contented sleep, giving no thought to the repercussions of our passionate actions.

---

Eight weeks later …

Three minutes. In three minutes I’d know for sure what the future held. You could do many things in three minutes – boil an egg, make tea and toast, listen to your favourite song or pay your phone bill online – and yet the seconds ticked down at an agonizingly slow rate.

I paced the cool blue lino of the bathroom floor.

I was glad I was in the bathroom, as nerves made me want to pee and throw up all at once.

Why is time moving so slowly?

The sound of my alarm going off made me jump, and I dashed to the toilet, where the test was resting on the top of the cistern.

Two lines. Pregnant.

 

2: Chapter Two

The bitch had to be lying. There ain’t no fucking way she was telling the truth.

“Bullshit,” I muttered, sliding my phone back into my gym bag. I sat hunched over on the locker-room bench, my head in my hands. “It’s gotta be bullshit.”

 “Oi. Murphy. You alright, mate? You look like a ghost,” Browne said.

“Yeah, it’s all good, mate. Think I winded myself is all.” Josh was good guy but he wouldn’t have a fucking clue about this. “Just gimme a minute and I'll be sound.”

A minute. An hour. Whatever. It didn’t matter. This wasn’t real. The phone call wasn't real. I sure as hell knew the news wasn’t real.

Things like that didn’t happen to me. Love ‘em. Leave ‘em. Maybe if she was good in the sack she’d get a phone call. Anything more just wasn’t my style.

I hadn’t given Megan a second thought, apart from to notice how well she’d taken the brush off. I was glad I didn’t have to give her the usual spiel about how training left no time for relationships. The drawback to being me was afterward girls became obsessive, telling me they were willing to make it work and if only I'd agree, they knew we'd make a great couple.

Megan weren’t like that. Or so I’d thought, until she’d called me. I figured she'd been thinking of me non-stop since the night we’d shagged.

 “Hey, is this Kian Murphy?” Her voice sounded shaky. Not like I remembered it.

I knew I had to end things quickly before they got out of hand. “Listen, Meg, I had a really great time with you and all, but I just don't think my schedule will allow me to see you right now.”

She laughed, but it sounded forced, like she was afraid.

“Actually, I wasn’t calling to ask you out again. I wouldn't be calling at all if I didn't have to.”

Well, this is a first…

More silence followed, until curiosity got the better of me.

“Then why are you calling?” Even though most birds I knew had a habit of calling someone for no reason, I figured there must have been something she wanted.

 “The thing is…” Her voice trembled. Whatever she wanted wasn’t good. The sentence tumbled out of her mouth in one long breath, “I'm-pregnant-and-it's-your-baby.”

“What?” This is some sort of joke, right? Browne knows her mate, they’ve set this up together to screw with me. “There's gotta be a mistake.”

“No, there isn't. I took a test a couple of days ago, and would have called you sooner, but I’ve been trying to get my head around it. And before you ask, you're the only person I've slept with in the last few months. There's no mistake.”

“Then the test is wrong.”

She let out a bitter laugh, and said, “Pregnancy tests don't work like that. If it's positive, you're definitely pregnant. It's only when the test is negative that there might be an error.”

“You haven't even been to the doctors. How can you know for sure?”

“I don't need to go to a doctor, I'm sure.”

“I won’t accept it until you've seen a doctor.”

“Fine. I'll call you back later when I've been to my G.P,” she said, and then hung up.

I looked up and saw the locker-room was empty. Training would be starting soon. Davi Silva, our trainer, would cut me some slack though. I was the Welterweight Champion and every gym in the country wanted me. Silva couldn’t afford to piss me off.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised it didn't matter if Megan saw her doctor or not – she was pregnant. There’s no way she’d’ve called if she wasn’t sure. But was the baby really mine? She had no problem jumping into bed with me, what was stopping her shagging any other random guy she met? How did I know she hadn’t got pregnant by some loser, and called me up because I was the better option? Hell, she could’ve been pregnant on the night we'd met, and thought I’d be an easy mark.

But Megan hadn’t seemed like the type to sleep with someone like me then sell her story to the local rag. If I‘d’ve thought that, I’d’ve stayed well away. After years of hooking up randomly in clubs, I could spot a gold digger from a mile away. Megan wasn’t like that. The baby was mine.

I looked up to see Browne standing in the locker-room doorway. “Silva wants you to break in the new guy.”

“Gimme a minute.”

I stalked the hallway of the gym in a daze, until I walked smack bang into the receptionist, Ruby.

Fuck. She was the last person I wanted to see.

“Hey Kian. I was looking for you earlier.” She pouted, and did that thing with her eyes I used to find sexy, but now made me wanna scream. “I was wondering if you were coming out with everyone else tonight. It’d be nice if we spent some time together.”

I clenched my fists to my sides. Ruby had been bugging me for the last two months. No matter how many times I told her it was a one-time thing, the woman just kept coming back for more.

“Out of my way,” I said as I pushed past her and walked into the training room.

Browne smirked as I came over, and he saw Ruby looking at me with a scowl on her face.

“She's got it bad man.”

“Don't start with me today, pretty boy.”

“Alright, don't get your knickers in a knot.”

“Fuck off, smart arse.”

Before we could carry on, Silva rushed over to see what the hold-up was.

I paced the floor as I waited for Browne to discuss something. When he was done, I said, “You wanted me to break the new guy in?”

The new guy was Bill Bagley, former Middleweight Champion of a promotion up in Manchester who’d moved to the Midlands, because we were the best and he knew it. His first fight was in a month, and Silva wanted to whip him into shape for the main event. I hated the prick.

“Yeah, Bagley needs to work on his ground game.”

I gave Silva a look, but he was having none of it, and I knew I had to suck it up. Well, I wasn’t gonna make it easy on the guy. Baptism by fire was more my style.

Stepping into the ring, I slipped in my mouth guard and focused.

For a bigger guy Bagley was surprisingly quick on his feet. I was quicker, mind. Within a few minutes, I’d taken him down. With my legs wrapped around his to limit his movability, I synched in a loose kimura.

“Bagley, if this was a real fight, Murphy would have you tapping by now. You’ve got to work out his weakness, and exploit it.”

Hearing the challenge in Silva’s words, I tightened my grip. This guy was going to learn the hard way.

Bagley struggled beneath me, but instead of focusing on the hold, the earlier conversation with Megan replayed in my mind.

“I'm-pregnant-and-it's-your-baby.”

All I could think about were those life-changing words, and my grip slackened. Bagley rolled over me, causing the hold to lose its pressure, clambered to his feet, and then came at me with a volley of ferocious punches.

“Submissions specialist my arse, ya pussy.”

Without thinking, I sprang to my feet, and lunged at him blindly.

“The fuck did you say?” I said, pinning him against the turnbuckle with my arm to his throat.

Bagley batted my arm away and pushed me back. “You heard me, pussy.”

Before I knew what was happening, my fist went flying into his nose, spraying his face with blood. He fell to the ground, letting out an anger-fuelled roar.

With one hand on his nose, and the other on the ground steadying himself, I slid under him and wrapped my legs around his mid-section again. I grabbed his arm and synched in another kimura, this time not releasing it until I heard the bone snap.

 “Who’s the pussy now, eh bitch?”

A pair of arms grabbed me from behind, and dragged me from Bagley as the first-aiders rushed over. In a haze, I was pulled away and shoved into a room.

When I’d calmed down a bit, I realised I was locked in Silva’s office, and I realised how utterly screwed I was.

Letting out a deep breath, I dropped onto the leather couch. It’d be a while before Silva came to see me. He’d want to make sure Bagley was okay. That and he’d need to cool down himself. That’d give me enough time to think up an acceptable reason why I’d just broke the tosser’s arm.

The thing is, along with Browne, Silva was my closest friend. He knew me better than anyone. He’d been my trainer and mentor since I’d started fighting. I’d’ve never won a championship without him. He was a former boxer, like my dad, and took no shit from anyone, least of all me. Sure, he kept me on side and let a lot slide, but he was also the one who always called me out on my bullshit.

Knowing I’d disappointed him made the situation worse.

I began pacing the small office, and spotted a photo on Silva’s desk. It was of him holding his daughter Catarina when she was little. She was eighteen now, but Davi still treated her like a princess. She was his whole world.

Kids had never been on my radar before. You didn’t get many coming to fights, and I certainly wasn’t the favourite of the ones who did.

I looked at the picture again. All I could see were a pair of huge brown eyes staring up at me. The realization I was going to have a kid hit me like a punch to the gut. I was going to be a father. I wasn’t sure if I was ready or would ever be.

“What the hell happened out there?” Silva entered the office and sat down on the couch.

“I don't know. I just lost it.”

“What do you mean, you do not know?”

“I mean, I don't know what happened. One minute he’s calling me a pussy, the next I’m beating the shit out of him.”

“That’s not good enough,” Silva said. “You broke his arm. There’s no way he’s going to be able to fight next month. We’re going to have to rearrange the whole damn card to make up for his absence. Doug wants to see you at his office on your day off to discuss what happened.”

FUCK. Doug Taylor was the local promoter who arranged all the MMA events in the area. If he wanted to see me, I was in deep shit.

“You told him?” I couldn’t disguise the outrage in my voice. It was like when I was a kid, and dad came home and mum told him all the naughty things I’d done.

“I’m sorry, Kian, but I had no choice,” he said in an even tone, before his voice softened. “I just want to know what’s going on. Earlier you go into the locker-room to take that phone call, and come out looking like you’re going to pass out. And now you flip out over a bit of name calling. Even you aren’t usually this volatile. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I knew Davi was like a dog with a bone when he thought something was bothering me. He'd known me for almost ten years. We travelled together and hung out on our days off.

Knowing it was best to get it over with and tell him, I bowed my head.

“You’re not gonna like this, and I don’t want you flipping out until I’m done.”

“Would I ever do that?” Davi insisted. He had a point. During my time on the circuit, I'd done some stupid things. Everyone was always quick to claim I was going off the rails or that the pressure of the business was getting to me. Davi was the only person who listened to what I had to say.

“All right. Do you remember the night we went out for your birthday?”

Davi laughed. “You don’t forget something like that.”

“Right. And we went to that club with the live band. You know, the place where Browne hooked up with that girl in the silver-hot-pants-thing?”

Davi nodded, so I continued.

“When he went back to the hotel, some of us went to the chippy. I saw that girl’s mate in there and chatted her up to cut the queue. She called me out on it, so I offered her a ride home, and well…”

Davi rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, you spent the night with her and never called back. Now she’s desperate to see you again, and you don’t know how to give her the brush off?”

I let out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, well, there’s a little more to it than that. She called me again because she needed to tell me something…”

I wasn’t sure what to say next. Davi was pretty good about most things, but I had no idea how he'd react to the news that I'd gotten some girl I’d hooked up with pregnant.

He beat me to the punch and said, “Please, God, don’t tell me she’s pregnant?”

I hung my head. I knew I’d disappointed Davi again, and it was more than I could take.

“Jesus Christ, Kian. You’ve done some pretty stupid shit, but this takes the cake. What the hell were you thinking sleeping with someone without protection?”

“I didn't think, and that's the problem,” I said, feeling like shit for making such a rookie mistake. “We were getting it on, and she was so hot for me.”

Davi shook his head, and put his palm to his brow.

“You’re an idiot, you know that? Pregnancy is the least of your worries if you go around sleeping with any woman that so much looks at you. Didn’t you stop to think that you could catch an STD? You’d be out of action until the condition was treated. Or worse, if it was a viral infections, like herpes, that would be it. Career over. Or does being an MMA fighter make you immune to the clap? You need to take a piss test before you leave.”

“Don't start with the lecture, man. I know I fucked up on a grand scale. All I need to know now is how to fix it.”

“What exactly did she say on the phone? Does she want you involved in the baby's life?”

“We didn't get that far. I refused to believe it, and told her I didn't want to hear anything else until she'd seen her doctor.”

“You really are a class act, Kian. Don’t you get how hard it must have been for her to call you up and admit she’s pregnant? Then you go and react like that. I’d be surprised if you ever hear from her again.”

“I guess that's the problem solved, isn't it?” I replied without even thinking. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Even if Megan never called again this wasn’t the end. Now I knew she was pregnant, I'd keep seeing the picture of Davi and Catrina, imagining it was me with my child.

“No, this isn’t the end of it. You’re going to call her up, apologise for being such an idiot, and then ask her what she wants to do next.”

“Say I do call her up and she forgives me. Then what? I don't know if I'm ready to have a baby. I don't know if I'll ever be ready.”

“Who’s to say she'll even want you in the baby's life?”

“Why wouldn't she? I'm its father, it's my right.”

Davi shook his head. “Yes, because you’ve really acted like the perfect parent so far, Kian. You’re on the road more than you’re at home. She’s the one who’s going to be left behind raising the child alone.”

“I'll give her money every month, that's all she needs, isn’t it?”

“Are you really so naive to think that all it takes to bring up a child is a cut out of your pay cheque every month? It takes a hell of a lot more than that. You have to teach this child everything it needs to know to become a successful and well-grounded adult. You have to love and nurture it. I’m talking about school sports days, friend's birthday parties, parent-teacher meetings, helping with homework. Do you really think you can do all of that from the gym?”

“Other people do. You and Taylor managed it just fine.”

“For Christ’s sake. This situation is nothing like mine or Taylor’s. Doug is married to the chairman's daughter; if he wants time off to look after his sick kid, he can have it no questions asked. I’d fathered my girls and split from their mother before I even retired from boxing. They’re almost adults now, they don’t need me holding their hands anymore.”

“What you're saying is, if I want to have any part in my child's life, I've got to give up everything I've worked for my entire career?”

“No, I’m not saying that. But parenthood is about sacrifices, Kian. What you need to do first though is put your stupid male ego away, call her up, apologise and then take it from there. Ask her what she wants to do next, and make sure you let her know you're one-hundred percent willing to support her in all of this.”

“You know what? Screw this. I can’t deal with all this bullshit tight now.” I got up from the couch and shoulder barged Davi out of the way when he tried to block my path to the door.

“Kian, wait-”

The rest of his words were lost as I stalked the corridor, and passed the locker-room. I was almost at the end of the hallway when Browne appeared.

“Hey, Kian. Wait up man. Are you alright?”

I ground to a halt, but didn’t turn to face him. “Get lost, Brownie.”

“Is this something to do with Ruby? Did you beat Bagwell up because you’re pissed off at her?”

“No it fucking ain’t. You know, the world don’t revolve around that tramp. Just fuck off, alright?”

“Okay, don’t get your kickers in a knot.”

The phrase was one Browne used to mean it was okay, and he’d back off, but the mood I was in made it grate on me, and I span around to face him.

“Shut up will ya,” I said, giving him a hard shove backwards.

“Don’t start this shit, Murphy. Just ‘cos something’s got you all pissed off, don’t take it out on me.”

“Whatever.” I shoved him again and strode away.

Walking aimlessly, I headed to the nearby park. I needed to be away from everyone. When I found a bench out of the way of people, I dropped down on it, and buried my head in my hands.

What the fuck am I going to do?

I didn’t know the first thing about kids. The last time I’d even seen a baby up close was when I’d been forced to go to my cousin’s christening ten years ago.

This is insane.

Davi was right, kids needed more than just money throwing at them. How could I be a father if I wasn’t around? Kids needed someone to look up to, like I looked up to my dad. But I was hardly role model material.

The sound of screaming pulled me from my thoughts, and I saw a guy walking towards me with a little girl in his arms. She looked about three and had her head buried in his neck.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said, shuffling along.

The girl stopped screaming, but she was still upset, and tears fell down her cheeks.

“She fell over and grazed her knee,” the guy said, even though I hadn’t asked. “And of course, she had to have an accident when it’s my weekend to look after her. Her mum’s going to kill me.”

The guy turned his attention back to his daughter, who was complaining about the cut on her knee, and I was left with his words.

Would that be me in a few years’ time; only seeing my kid at weekends? Or would Megan having the baby be easier to deal with if I knew I didn’t have to be there all the time?

Dad had been away a lot when I was growing up, and even though we were pretty close now, I still wished he’d been around more when I was a kid. Could I do that to my own child?

I didn’t have a fucking clue. I had no idea what type of father I’d be, but I realised sitting on a bench in the park wasn’t going to help me figure it out. Davi was right, I needed to call Megan and sort things out. Even if it was just to say I wanted to be part of my kid’s life, it was a step in the right direction.

I headed back to the gym and debated for a minute if it was a good time to call Megan. But I was just making excuses to put it off for longer. If she didn't answer, I could leave a message and try again later.

My body shook as I picked up my phone and hit call back. When she didn’t answer straight away, I was tempted to give up and leave a message. Then she picked up.

“Hello.” Her voice sounded like she'd just woken up or something.

“Hey, it’s Kian.”

 “Hey.” She seemed surprised.

“Sorry about earlier. I acted like a total dick, and you shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

“Thanks. I appreciate you saying that. I understand why you reacted like you did. It was unfair of me to spring the news on you like I did.”

She sounded drained, like she hadn’t slept in days. I wanted to make her feel better. She already had so much to deal with and I'd made it worse.

“It’s all right. What else could you’ve done? I’ve been thinking, and whatever you want to do about the baby, I’ll support you. If you want money or help with anything, just let me know.”

“Thank you, that means a lot to me,” she said. Her voice sounded a little less strained. “Erm, I've got an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, I don’t suppose you want to come with me?”

“Yeah, sure. I haven't got training or anything. Want me to pick you up?”

“No, it's okay, I'll meet you there. Is the eleven-thirty okay?”

“Sure, that's fine.”

“All right then, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Kian. And thanks for calling. It really does mean a lot to me that you're willing to support me through this,” she said, sounding genuinely touched by the fact I'd phoned her.

“It's nothing, I just want what's best for you and the baby.”

Megan gave me the address of the surgery, then we ended the call and rang off.

I let out a long breath. Speaking to Megan was the right thing. I was glad everything seemed okay, and she wasn’t angry at me for acting like a dick.

Then a realization hit me. Tomorrow I was going to talk to Megan about the baby – our baby. 

 

 

3: Chapter Three

I threw the shirt on my bed and sighed. It was the third outfit I’d tried on, and nothing I’d pulled out of my wardrobe was right. I looked fat, and ugly, and stupid. The tears prickling behind my eyes only made it worse.

Damn pregnancy hormones …

I didn’t know why I was worked up, anyway. It wasn’t like I was meeting Kian for a date. We were going to the doctors to discuss our baby. The time for impressing him had passed. Only it hadn’t. I never expected to see him again, let alone be doing this, and I wanted to make a good first impression. Not because I wanted him to think I was hot or anything. Starting a relationship with Kian was the last thing on my mind. I barely knew the guy. I barely knew myself at the moment.

Looking at my watch, I realized I had ten minutes before I was due to meet him. Unless I wanted to be late, the shirt would have to do. Grabbing it off my bed, I pulled it over my head, brushed my hair, grabbed my bag and was out the door.

I pulled into the surgery carpark to see a red Audi convertible waiting there. A car like that would draw a lot of attention. I knew it had to be Kian’s.

As I approached, he caught sight of me, smiled, and opened the door. I stepped forward and smelt the scent of aftershave so familiar to me it made my stomach flip. Every feeling I'd had on the night we’d spent together came rushing to the forefront. This time, each emotion was coupled with something else.

On that night, he'd just been some attractive stranger I fancied, who’d offered me a ride home, and then left me breathless and my heart racing. Now, he was the father of the child inside me. He was someone who could be involved in my life for the next twenty-one years at least, and I had to find a way to deal with that thought. Trying to push the conflicting voices out of my head, I sat down in the passenger seat.

“Hey,” I said, anything else would have felt both ridiculous and inadequate at the same time.

“Hey,” Kian replied, the swagger he’d had on the night we’d met replaced by a cautious uncertainty. “How are things? You feeling okay? No morning sickness or anything?”

I laughed thinking about my earlier hormonal outburst and shook my head. “I’m good thanks. No sickness this morning, thank God.”

“That’s good. Isn’t it? What time’s your appointment?”

“Twelve. I thought we could talk about what we’re going to do first?”

“Sure. I meant what I said on the phone yesterday. I’m sorry for being such a dick, and whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.”

“Thanks. That means a lot. The next few months are going to be tough, let alone when the baby comes.”

“You’re keeping it then? I mean, that wasn’t meant to come out so blunt. Shit, I’m sorry. It’s just, you never really said either way on the phone.”

“It’s okay. I … wow. I don’t know. I hadn’t even considered anything else until you asked. What do you think?”

My mind whirled with the possibilities. Since the second I’d found out I was pregnant, there’d only been one choice. It didn’t matter that I was only twenty-two, hadn’t finished uni, and that Kian and I weren’t even together. I knew I couldn’t carry a child for nine months, and then just give it up without knowing if I’d ever see it again. And the other option hadn’t even crossed my mind. I had nothing against women who choose to end their pregnancies for whatever reason. Other people’s lives were none of my business. It just hadn’t occurred to me. Somewhere between taking the pregnancy test, calling Kian to let him know, and booking my doctor’s appointment, I’d accepted the fact I was going to be a mother.

“I know it’s your choice, and I said I’d support you not matter what, but I don’t think I could if you wanted a termination. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear,” Kian said, the intensity in his eyes like a fire kindling to life.

Without even thinking, I threw my arms around his neck. “That’s exactly what I want to hear. I want to keep the baby, and if you’re sure, I want you to be a part of its life.”

“I’m sure.”

Realising I was still hugging him, I let go, and shuffled back in my seat. “Great. That’s great. Let’s go and see what the doctor has to say then.”

We climbed out of the car and entered the surgery in silence. I gazed around the waiting room at the few other people in here, and noticed a couple cooing over a small baby in a carrier. The infant looked absolutely fine to me, but as its mother kept dabbing its nose, I assumed it had a cold or something. As I watched the family interacting together, I wondered if that would be Kian and me in several months’ time. He’d been able to make this appointment, but would he come with me to future appointments and ultra-sound scans? Would he be here when our child was sick and needed medical attention? Honestly, I didn't know for sure. I hoped he'd be a good father, but I also knew his career meant he'd be training or travelling a lot of the time.

After sitting in an uncomfortable waiting room plastic chair for thirty minutes, the door to the doctor's office opened, and he called me into the room. I got up from my seat, and took one final look at the couple tending to their child before making my way over to the consultation room.

Doctor Adams confirmed that receiving a positive result on a pregnancy test meant I was pregnant. He gave me some advice on what I should and shouldn't be doing during the first few months of pregnancy, and then wrote a letter referring me to a midwife.

“Do either of you have any questions?” he asked.

For now, I didn’t, but I looked to Kian, making sure not to exclude him. He shook his head.

“Thanks doc, but I think I’ve got enough to take in for now.”

We left Doctor Adams' office, with a few pamphlets on early pre-natal care, a prescription for folic acid to reduce the risk of some serious birth defects, and his best wishes for mine and the baby's future.

We were making our way back to the car park when I realised just how hungry I was. For the last month, I'd lost my appetite, and usually felt quite nauseous in the mornings. Today, I was positively ravenous.

“I’m starving. Fancy grabbing some food?”

Kian looked up from the pamphlet Doctor Adams had given us and smiled. “Okay, but no mould-ripened soft cheese, pate or raw shellfish.”

I laughed, touched by how seriously he was taking this. “Damn, and that’s exactly what I was craving too.”

Leaving our cars in the carpark, we crossed the street and headed to a nearby café. Once through the glass doors, my stomach growled loudly, and I felt certain I could probably eat everything on the menu, and everyone who walked past me. Although, to avoid looking like a complete pig, I settled for a large portion of lasagne and a pint of orange juice. Kian ordered an all-day breakfast, leaving out the black pudding in case it somehow affected the baby, and didn’t even complain when I stole one of his hash browns.

“Do you think you’ll come with me to midwife appointments and ultrasound scans?” I asked as we finished our meals. “I mean, if you want to, and you can get time off work.”

“Well, Davi, that’s my trainer by the way, he knows about the baby, so he shouldn’t mind me taking a few hours out here and there. If you want me there, I’ll do what I can to make it.”

“You told your trainer?” I said, ignoring his offer of support for the moment.

“Yeah. I kind of had to after I broke some prick’s arm.”

I looked up from my glass of juice. “You did what?”

Kian explained to me what happened with this Bagley guy. When he’d finished I let out a long breath. “Is he okay?”

“He’ll live. Broken bones heal.”

I couldn’t believe how blasé he was being about breaking another man’s arm. Was this normal? Was he so desensitized to violence that sending someone to hospital meant nothing to him?

That wasn’t the only thing about Kian’s confession that bothered me. If he’d told his trainer, did that mean everyone else knew I was pregnant too? I wasn’t ashamed or trying to hide anything, but I hadn’t even told my parents yet. I didn’t want news getting out before I’d had a chance to speak to them.

I had dinner plans with Mum and Dad that evening, and had decided now Kian and I had seen the doctor, there was no point putting off telling them. I desperately wanted another woman to talk to about being pregnant. I’d noticed a few small changes in the last few weeks I wanted to ask Mum about. No amount of researching online would convince me waking up in the middle of the night craving ice cubes was normal. Besides, I’d shared all my important milestones with her. It’d be wrong not to tell her about her first grandchild as soon as possible.

I just wondered how they’d take the news given the circumstances. Knowing how Dad reacted to change, I guessed it'd probably be best to break the news gently. I remembered when I'd announced I was getting my own place – it'd taken him a full week to get used to the fact his 'baby girl' was moving out.

Then there'd be Mum’s reaction. I was a lot closer to Mum, I guess because we'd bonded over the fact we were both artists at heart, we understood each other in a way I didn't with Dad. Even though I was always his little princess, he was a lot more standoffish, and I didn't have a tight friendship with him like I did with Mum. Actually, I had a feeling, on this occasion she might be the one to calm him down and make him realize he couldn't keep me wrapped up in cotton wool forever. I just hoped neither of them would be disappointed in me, or worse, disown me for getting pregnant in the first place.

It had been a while since Kian and I said anything to each other, and I didn’t want things to get awkward. I still didn’t know what to make of him breaking this guy’s arm, but for now, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. The world of MMA was one I knew very little about, but would fast have to learn if Kian was going to be part of the baby’s life.

Trying to fill the void of silence, I gulped down the last of my orange juice, and asked, “So, how do you think your parents will react to the news they’re going to be grandparents?” I didn’t know if Kian had any siblings, but even if he did and they already had kids of their own, a new addition to the family was still a big deal.

Kian put down his can of coke, and looked at me wide-eyed, like I’d just told him I was visiting the Queen for dinner, or something.

“Shit. I haven’t even thought about it. I’m still getting used to the idea myself. I only told Davi because I had to.”

“But you are going to tell them, right? I mean, are you close? Will they want to know their grandbaby?”

Kian laughed. “Once my mum gets over the shock there’ll be no keeping her away. She’s always bugging my sister, Marie, about when she’s going to pop a kid out.”

“So you think they’ll be pleased?”

“I think they’ll be happy to have a grandkid, I don’t know about the circumstances though. They’re pretty traditional.”

“Right, so they’ll be expecting you to pop the question?” I’d only meant it as a joke, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back.

What the hell are you thinking?

“I didn’t mean that. It was a joke. I don’t want to get married. Not that you aren’t lovely, but …” The more I spoke the deeper I dug myself in. “Oh for God’s sake. Can we just pretend none of that just happened?”

Kian stared at me for a moment, a stunned look on his face, and then burst out laughing. I mean proper, raucous, from the belly howling laughter.

“I get it, it’s cool. You’ve gotten what you wanted from me. I’ll just take the diamond solitaire I bought back to the jewellers.”

“Shut up. I was worried for a minute.”

“You should have seen your face. And you kept going, too, trying to make everything okay. It was hilarious.”

Both laughing, we left the café and headed back to the car park.

I was glad Kian had come with me to the doctors. Even after he’d called me back the day before, I was still unsure if he’d meant what he’d said about supporting me, but talking with him, and joking around made him seems like a real person, rather than a one-night stand or violent MMA fighter. Even with a matter as serious as telling our parents we were having a baby, he’d still managed to make me laugh. I was still trying to figure out what the future held for both of us, now we were bonded together by this life we’d created, but if every day was like this, I was sure we’d be okay.

“I think you’re right,” Kian said when we reached his car.

“About what?”

“I should tell my parents when I see them. They’ve got a right to know, and it seems weird, you know, keeping it from them? Dad’s been on my side my whole life. He’s my biggest supporter, but he’s never been afraid to kick my arse into line. I want to tell him he’s going to be a pops.”

Hearing Kian talk about his dad with such obvious love made my heart do a little somersault.

“Will you call me and let me know how it went?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure what I should do next. Simply saying ‘bye’ and getting in my car didn’t seem right, somehow.

“Thanks for coming today,” I said eventually, stepping into Kian’s personal space, and opening my arms to him.

He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me to him, our chests pressed together and his chin rested on top of my head. “I know neither of us planned this, but now that it’s happening, I’m going to do everything in my power to be a good dad.”

His hand snaked around from where it was resting on my back, to gently caress my stomach.

“You take care, okay, Meg?”

“You too, Kian.” I held onto him for a moment longer, then stepped away.

Without another word, I walked to my car, climbed in and started the ignition. With a little beep of my horn, I was on my way.

 

Later that afternoon, I arrived at my parents’ house, and as expected, found Mum preparing dinner in the kitchen, as Dad watched some old episode of Red Dwarf on TV

As the sound of Craig Charles' voice as the character Dave Lister caught my ear, and I couldn't help chuckling to myself. Red Dwarf was a show Dad and I had watched together when I was a teenager, and was one of the things he and I shared that I didn't have with Mum.

“This one again, Dad? I think series six is better.” I teased as I sat down on the sofa next to him.

“Ah, but nothing can beat the 'tension sheet',” he said, referring to the invention in the episode he was watching, with a smile of his own.

We fell into a comfortable silence, as we continued watching the episode, and waited for Mum to serve dinner.

When the meal was finally dished up, I was delighted to find it was spaghetti with meatballs, and despite the fact I'd already eaten pasta once that day, I tucked right in. Mum always served my favourite when she knew I was coming round for dinner. With the meal over, and Mum finally satisfied that her kitchen was once again immaculate, I prepared to tell my parents the news that I was pregnant. Dinner had given me a positive feeling that the announcement would go over well – both Mum and Dad had seemed in good moods as we chatted and caught up on each other’s lives.

When Mum re-entered the living room, I looked to Dad who was reclining in his chair, and then took a deep breath.

“Dad, Mum, there's something I've got to tell you,” I said, my voice trembling.

Dad looked directly at me, smiled and then asked, “You've gotten your first paying design gig, haven’t you?”

I shook my head, then gazed at Mum, hoping she somehow had the ability to read minds and knew what I was about to confess, so that she could make it easier for me.

“No, it isn't uni-related, it's something else.”

This time I noticed the crease in Dad's forehead, as he tried to work out what I saw going to say. The look of confusion in his face worried me, and I actually contemplated backing out of telling them the truth, and making up something else instead.

But I knew I'd have to have this conversation with them eventually, so why prolong it?

“Okay, the thing I'm about to say, well, it's kind of a big deal, so I don't want you freaking out or anything, all right? Just let me tell you, and then take a few days to digest the news.”

Mum and Dad nodded mutely, utterly bewildered at what was going on.

I let out a long breath and the sentence tumbled from my mouth all at once. “I'm-pregnant-and-I'm-keeping-the-baby.”

Dad's eyes grew as wide as saucers, then he gave a deep sigh.

“You're pregnant?” Mum said.

“Yeah, I saw my doctor today, and he confirmed it. I'm about eight weeks along.”

“And what about the father? Who is he? Because I didn't even know you were dating anyone,” Dad said.

“That's because I'm not. I met him when I was out with Stacey one night. He offered me a ride home, and well, you know ...”

“Oh, Meg, what were you thinking? Didn't it cross your mind that you could end up with a STD?”

I looked to the floor, the disappointment in Mum’s voice making it impossible for me to keep eye contact with either of them.

“I'm not stupid, but everyone makes mistakes. I admit what I did that night was stupid, but I'm dealing with the consequence now, aren't I?”

“You're dealing with the consequence by having a child out of wedlock and forgoing the career you've worked so hard for? You know, there are other options.”

“Elizabeth! Our daughter is not getting rid of or giving up our first grandchild for adoption,” Dad said, sitting bolt upright in his recliner and slamming his fist down on the end table. His reaction was a shock. I thought he was going to agree with Mum. “If Megan thinks that keeping this baby is the right thing to do, then we'll support her, just like we've always done. Now, Love, tell us more about what’s going on. Who’s the father? Does he know you're pregnant? Is he going to support you and the baby?”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said, genuinely touched by what he'd just said. “And yes, I've told him I'm pregnant. He said he wants to be involved in the baby's life, and that he will support me as much as his career will allow.”

“As much as his career will allow?” Mum asked incredulously, piercing me with a glare that made me feel like a naughty school child. “So it's all right for you to give up university, and everything you've worked for since you left college, but he can still go gallivanting around? What does this guy even do that’s so important he can’t be there for his baby?”

“Mum, it's not like that. I'm not going to force Kian into anything he doesn't want to. I just thought he had a right to know he's going to become a father. If he wants to support me, that's great. If not, I'll deal with it. But nothing is going to stop me from having this baby.”

“That's my girl,” Dad said proudly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

A few minutes of tense silence passed as Mum and Dad gazed steadily at each other. Finally, Dad made a motion with his head that I assumed was part of the secret language every couple had, and then Mum sighed.

“Okay, maybe I overreacted a little,” she said with a sigh, before allowing herself a half-smile. “I'm just trying to be realistic here. Raising a baby is never easy, especially when you're doing it alone.”

“But she won't be doing it alone. We'll both be here to help.”

“Yeah, and there's every chance Kian will be true to his word, and make a wonderful father.”

Mum clicked her tongue in that disapproving way she did. “We’ll see.”

Before I could reply, and say anything in Kian's defence, Dad stared her down, and then changed the subject. “So, Megan. What else did the doctor say? Do you have a due date yet or any other appointments booked?”

“No, nothing yet. My doctor just confirmed the pregnancy, and wrote a letter referring me to a midwife. I suppose I'll hear more in a few days’ time.”

“It usually takes them about a week to get the ball rolling,” Mum said, now seemingly calmer after her outburst. Although I wasn't sure if she was just holding her tongue for Dad's sake. “All you can do for now is make sure you're eating right and getting plenty of rest.”

At this point, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. “Don't worry, Mum, I'm eating just fine and taking it easy.”

With my parents’ growing acceptance and their offer to support me, I truly felt as though everything was coming together. The only thing that had truly surprised me was the fact Dad was the first one to offer his unconditional support, whereas Mum had tried to be more rational and make sure I'd thought this through properly. I had honestly assumed it would have been the other way around, and Dad would be the one to kick up a fuss, leaving Mum to talk reason to him. But then, Mum always was the more level headed one, when me and Dad were led more by our feelings and emotions. Not that it mattered in the long run, as Mum had eventually calmed down, and offered me her support too.

How well my parents had taken the news, coupled with the fact Kian had been so supportive earlier made me hopeful everything should be plain sailing from here on out, and I couldn’t help but wonder how Kian was getting on telling his parents.