Lone Flame

“Memories of a past I could never forget, Visions of a future that could never be, and feelings of the dreams called the present life.”

               

                The crimson flames burned brightly as I rested my head down on the ground. I gazed into the flames like they were my life, my soul that would never burn out; though I knew that eventually those flames would die like the wood that turned to ash below. In hind sight every one’s life is like that fire and the wood below, it burns brightly and proudly until it dies away slowly and painfully, leaving only a shroud of darkness in its place. I know though that my life does not shine proudly for a certain length of time, my life is like the start of the flame, flickering and waiting to become a great flame worthy of fighting away shadows. I am a fire that is not yet reached its peak of greatness before the downfall to death and there is nothing that can be done about it. I will always be a fire that cannot fight away the darkness because I am not the darkness nor the light.

                I sighed and turned my head away from the now dying fire, I couldn’t watch as another life disappeared before my eyes, my everlasting, life filled eyes. The fired died and I walked away from it, leaving the darkness that had just formed alone. I knew that the death of that fire meant another person was dead. How many fires have I watched die, how many lives have I watched be taken away, how many eyes did I see lose the life in them; I honestly couldn’t tell you that answer because I lost count a long time ago. I don’t even know if a number that high was possible. So many people have perished around me, and most of the time I was the cause of it. I am no different than the grim reaper in that regard; whenever I show up it isn’t long before someone around me dies. So I stay in the forests, I walk I night, and I do everything in my power to be far from the life of people as possible. I do not want to watch more lives be taken in front of me. Though those people’s deaths are not my fault, they need not die for me, for I wouldn’t die anyways. I can’t die and even if I could the grim reaper wouldn’t kill me like he did my mother.  However I can still remember some of those deaths like the back of my hand, deaths that were not my fault but they sure felt like they were. I mean how couldn’t they feel like my fault when they would have lived another day if I did not come into their lives.

                I walked by one of the houses that were in the woods I slept in for that current period in time. As I did I saw a light turn off, much like some one’s life would if they were hit in the brain or heart, sudden and short. As I glanced at that house I knew I knew the family that lived in that house. In fact I was the reason that the husband and father in that house was dead, though for some reason they were not mad at me but at the animal that supposedly took away his life. When someone is the reason for a loved one’s death I have learned that people tend to blame you. People blame the life that was saved even though they were told by the loved one that died not to blame that person.

                The difference about that family was that they never blamed me; in fact they wanted me to keep living with them. What they didn’t realize was that they should be mad at me, because it is my fault. I was always being chased by death and I wasn’t going to stop being chased until I returned by his side like was a long, long time ago.

                I stood there for a second and watched as the people in the house turned off the lights. It was late in the night for them to be up anyways. I soon realized though I should have kept walking because soon they noticed me and opened the door.

                I had a problem of not being able to say no when people ask me to do something. So when they said to come in, I did. I walked in their house that was much like everyone else’s; a simple two floored house with a small amount of windows and enough items inside to show that it had been well lived in. They told me I could sleep on the couch and I sat down on it, even though I was a fool to, knowing what was going to follow if I truly did remain the night. Death gets jealous easily. I wondered who would be next to die in the family, probably the mother for she was the one who welcomed me in. I watched as the mother walked up the stairs and told me that I better be there in the morning. I wasn’t going to be though, I had to leave to save their lives.

                This woman lectured me though about how cold it was outside. It’s not like the cold bothered me though because it was the only substance I could feel on my skin. I wasn’t going to tell her that though, that just always brews more questions. Eventually I had to say yes just to make her happy, a yes that I didn’t want or plan on keeping because again their safety and life was more important than my comfort. It was enough for her though, she headed up the stairs talking about a breakfast to happen in the morning. It was a breakfast I could taste even if I wanted to, but I knew it was a breakfast that wasn’t going to come. As I said before death is a jealous man. He doesn’t want anyone to be happy with what was technically his.

                For some reason I sat there all night, doing nothing but looking at the darkness trying to stop the shadows approaching to kill the family I grew to like. Soon though it wasn’t dark and it was no shadows that approached but a bright red flame like the ones I looked into before. A fire has started all because I was in the house. Death by fire was his choice this time as if to remind me that I was a flame that would never die.

                Soon the house was completely on fire. The fire started on the top floor so there was no way for me to go up and save them, much like he wanted. I watched outside the house as the police and firemen tried to get rid of the fire and save everyone who was inside of it. By the time they did, the mother and the two daughters were dead like the fire that burned the house down. They told me softly and I just nodded and walked away into the woods, not wanting to bother myself with more death I could have avoided. I didn’t need the police to tell me they died to know they did, I could see their souls walking in the woods now.

                Those three souls looked at me in horror. “What are you?” The mother asked me as they were slowly disappearing in the shadows known as death.

                “I told you I killed him.” It was the only thing I could say as I saw the same expression I always saw on the souls who died. When people were dead they could see the real me. The dark figure locked in a clock. The life that didn’t exist in my eyes. The skin that was paler than bones. The smell of rotten flesh. The girl that wasn’t human and the grim reaper standing behind me.

                “She is my daughter.” He, the grim reaper, spoke behind me or should I say my father. 

                Those spirits slowly vanished leaving me with my father and as I walked away I smirked in sorrow just a little bit, wondering who was the next one to fall into the trap known as death.