I look out the window as the last green before, now orange leaf on our tree slowly floats down to the ground.

Senior year.

That's all I can think of.

I'll be finishing up high school this year, then to college I go.

Maybe, I'll take up a business degree.

Or a literary one.

I still haven't decided on that.

I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

"Why the long face?" a voice asks from behind me.

"I don't know, Mike. I'm just thinking."

"You always think."

I take my gaze off my best friend and look outside again.

"So..." he starts.

"What is it?"

"Umm... About Carter."

At the mention of that name my eyes snap quickly back to Mike.

"What about him?" I raise an eyebrow.

"He's coming back here for senior year. I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier. Not two days before."

My jaw drops a few centimeters.

Carter freakin' Lewis is coming back.

I regain my composure and flash a grin at Mike.

"I don't care. I'M fine. It's been what? Two years since the thing happened? Plus me and him were on good terms when he left. Don't you dare feel sorry or guilty." this isn't a lie at all.

Quite a while has passed and when Carter went to spend his junior year at wherever he was (take note, I don't even care enough to find out where he went), we were friends.

So, I don't really care. He's still the Carter I used to be close friends with before things actually got out of line.

"Are you sure? I just feel so guilty."

"Don't. You're not at fault, here. Besides, it's not like you can stop him from being here. Telling me earlier wouldn't have made much of a difference."

'Oh, but it might've.' my subconscious speaks.

"Oh shut up."

"I wasn't saying anything." Mike tells me a little confused.

"Oh right. Umm... Nothing. Don't mind me."

He was about to say something, but decides against it. That won't stop me from asking though.

"What?"

"It's just that you... uhh..." he trails off.

"I what?"

"You took this calmer than I expected." he rubs his palms nervously, a habit of his which occurs when he's afraid he'll offend or insult someone.

"What'd you expect Mike? I'm not about to jump off a building just because he's coming back. He's happy, I'm happy. Things in our past don't matter, anymore." I roll my eyes at him.

He's being absurd.

I don't freakin' care about Carter Lewis. It's not like I'm gonna let him ruin my life forever.

"Okay, okay. I was just... You know what? Nevermind. I have to go Kirst. I need to meet mom at the mall. Have a good day, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. You too. Take care. Don't die on the way there."

"Okay. Love you Kirst."

He pulls me into a hug and leaves.

For those who are curious, well no, he's not gay and our relationship is platonic. He's my best friend. Nothing more.

"Love you too." I call out as he shuts my bedroom door.

I sigh and look out the window once more.

I wonder what he looks like now.

It's been a whole year. Has he changed? Is he still the same person?

I shake my head because of these irrelevant questions.

The real question that needed an answer at this moment is whether WE'RE still the same.

 

//

 

I chuckle at Mike's face when I enter the classroom.

He looks like his puppy got ran over or something like that.

"What's wrong?" I ask with a smile as I settle down on the seat next to him.

"Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking how starting today, I will have the most awesome year ever, but I realized that I don't even have Jamie's number. Ruined my whole night." he explains in a voice which makes me chuckle at him even more.

"Pssshh. You're overreacting. You'll get her number soon enough."

He shakes his head before jumping to another topic. "So, what do you plan on doing today?"

"I don't know. It's first day of classes, so they'll probably dismiss us early. Maybe I'll head to Starbucks and then go home afterward."

"Cool. I could use some Starbucks right now."

"Excuse you? Who said you're invited?" I tease.

"I'm pretty sure you're gonna invite me. I mean what are you without your partner in crime?" he grins at me.

I return his grin as a sign that said he's right.

"So? Is it a deal? You, me, Starbucks?"

"Even if I tell you I want to go alone, you'll probably join me anyway no matter how much I protest."

"Is it yes then?" he smiles his side smile that's famous for driving ladies wild (even me sometimes).

"Do I have a choice?"

He chuckles revealing the dimples on his cheek that only show up when he laughs.

"Word right now is, Carter Lewis is coming back." I hear my classmate, Millie whisper to her best friend, Lizzie.

"How do you think Kirstie will react?"

"I'm sure she knows already, with Carter and Mike being best friends and all." Millie responds.

I cringe at the gossiping they're doing.

I'm usually not annoyed by this, but seriously? If I were them I'd at least have the decency to keep my voice low.

"Woah there, tiger. If looks could kill, you would've stabbed Millie and Liz a thousand times already." Mike whispers into my ear.

"It's because they're pissing me off."

"Why? They didn't seem to piss you off when they were talking about Mary last year."

"That's because I hate her!"

"You are such a hypocrite Kirst." Mike frowns in disapproval.

"You don't understand girls at all. Just shut up." I tell him.

And he just does that for the rest of the day.

 

//

 

"Carter didn't show up today. I wonder why." Mike flings his backpack over his shoulder as we leave the school campus.

"Isn't that like a tradition of his? He never shows up on the first day, remember?" I remind him as flashbacks of Carter entering during the 2nd day of school in our freshman year. "I still remember him sitting next you and you were right beside me. I heard him talking to you and saying that he never shows up first day of school because there's really nothing to do."

"Oh yeah. I remember that now. I don't think that's the actual reason he does it though."

"No?"

"Yeah. I think he's just using that as an excuse. I think he really does it so he can be like the center of attention or something."

I consider the idea for a moment. "That's actually a good idea. And it actually worked because he becomes instantly popular."

"He's just so self-centered."

I stop in my tracks and after a few seconds, Mike imitates my actions. "What?" he asks.

"Why are you talking about him like that?"

"Talking about him like what?"

"Stop playing dumb. You sound so pissed about him. I mean, I already noticed that your friendship was slightly falling apart when he left for wherever he went, but I didn't hear about you guys having a fall out or something."

"Kirstie..."

"Mike, did something happen to you guys while he was away?"

"No. Nothing."

"Don't tell me it's nothing. You're genuinely angry at him."

"Kirstie, just drop it!" he snaps and I fall silent.

Mike rarely gets angry at me.

He inhales a big breath and then exhales. "Look, I'm sorry. Just, it's nothing, okay?"

"Okay." I say.

 

//

 

"No way! What did she do after you told her that?"

"She panicked so much. And when she looked like she was about to cry, I told her I was kidding."

"You are so cruel!" I say in between chuckles.

That little angry moment earlier has officially passed and now we're back to normal with Mike telling me a funny story of him lying to his cousin by telling her that she forgot to throw away her used tampon and left it on the bathroom floor.

"It was hilarious! But she got so mad and stopped speaking to me for an entire week."

I chuckle even harder that I start snorting.

I'm shocked that Mike isn't even slightly embarrassed to be seen with me in public.

The bell at the entrance signalling a new customer coming in.

My back is to the door, so I was definitely surprised when I hear my name being called by a familiar voice.

"Oh no." I mutter.

"Hell no." Mike echoes.

"Kirst?" I turn around and force a smile on my face.

"Woah! It really is you. Wow. It's been a while."

"Hey Carter."

Does he not feel a little awkward?

"How was... uhh..."

"Bristol? Oh it was okay I guess. But it's better here." he tells me.

"...."

"Because you're here." he smiles.

"Oh."

Insert the super awkward silence here which should be filled with cricket sounds.

Why in the world did he say that? It just made things a million times more awkward.

"Well, umm, I gotta go. I just came here to grab a frappe which looks about ready now. I'll see you tomorrow, Kirst." he says and walks away.

I look over at Mike whose lips were pressed into a thin line.

"You alright there, Mikey?"

"Uh... Yeah." he answers, kind of smiling.

"Okay then." I nod although I was unconvinced and curiosity was rising up in me.

Oh God, it's moments like these that make me wish that Mike was a better liar.