Who am I?

Chapter 1: Who am I?

The whirring of the sewing machine echoed throughout the dark, dank room. It smelled of sweat, old fabric, and loneliness. Within this ominous cavern, there are mirrors. They surrounded the dark figure as he sewed; they all had a good view of his face. The figure slowly stopped sewing and pulled out the fabric from the machine. It was a little blue dress with white cuffs around the neck area. He reached to pick up a little doll next to him and found himself looking at his face. He stared at his fake green eyes, long black hair brushed off to the side and almost touching his chin, and his lips that formed a straight line with the ends stitched into a frown. He brought his hand up to feel his face but he couldn't feel anything. It was the worst feeling ever since he became his way but he has become very used to picking objects up. He shook his head and turned around to sew together the dress. He picked up the two fabrics he sewed and intertwined the two. He was making it into a nice seam; he enjoyed this a lot but he wished he could express it.

He gingerly put the dress on the smiling doll and held it in his hands. He looked up at the mirror to see that he had an ugly smile-the smile that disgusted him so. He stared and scowled, frowning is his best choice. It always was. But looking back at the doll it was pure perfection. "But," he softly whispered, sounding coarse and worn, "not perfect enough." He stood stiffly and put it down on a shelf along with other smiling and frowning puppets. Some were worn away and falling apart at the very seams. He picked up a totaled puppet with an arm and leg missing. The button eye shined no more and the other one was missing as well. His knit hair looked burned off on random parts of the skull and the boy cradled him in his hands. He held what was left of his other arm and he brushed his thumb over the empty heart shaped hole in the puppet's chest. "A poor man had to die the most gruesome death possible-loneliness." The boy stiffly walked to the incinerator in the middle of the room and was about to throw away the puppet's carcass when he stopped in front of another mirror.

Now this mirror wasn't like any other mirror.

When he was tasked with this job, he was assigned the "special mirror" that tortured him ever since he started. In the mirror, it was his usual self. His usual long hair with a low ponytail that ends above his pants, he wore no shirt so he sees the seams of where he was stitched together, and his pants that had a five inch strip cut out but was spaced and held together by red thread. He knew that if he got closer he would see everything wrong about himself. He always try to ignore the tendencies to look closer and hate himself more but he couldn't resist. He grudgingly took a few steps closer to see himself in the mirror change. His body became distorted and in the mirror that replicated his work place became a dark room. Every now and then a chain would swing by but what he was really focused on was him. He still had his normal body with the darkness licking around his feet, desperate to latch onto something that wasn't him. He kept looking up and up and saw the first spot of blood. It was smeared all over his chest where his dead heart lay in torn pieces; when he saw his face he immediately frowned and flinched upon the sight. On the other side, one side of his face was covered with very dark crimson blood and the eye was null and void; as if it were a black hole. The other side of his face was normal but his eyes tell a different story. His lips were grinning widely with sharp, monster like teeth and the stitched ends were torn; the threads were hanging from the ends of his lips like fresh flesh. Blood stained his pearly white teeth and it was also dripping out of his mouth. The monster on the other side put his hands in his pockets and greeted the boy, saying, "Howdy there. How are you today hmm?" His voice sounded like nails scratching against the chalkboard. The boy in his workplace scowled, "That's none of your business. You wouldn't even care anyway." He laughed at the thought, a bone chilling laugh that boomed and shook everything around the mirror even the "special mirror" shook, "Why do you think that hmm? We are the same person you know. You and I, me and you," his grinned seemed to become wider, "You can't ignore that Nathaniel. You've been ignoring me ever since you started working here but you can't ignore me forever." Nathaniel turned away, "I can ignore you and I will. I won't become like you and I never will." The monster on the other side growled but chuckled deviously, "Be that way then boy. Ignore me and before you know it you'll become just like the man who put you here in the first place." Now that drew Nathaniel's attention and he whispered, "Why do you taunt me like this? Do you really think this will get me to follow you into the dark? I know who that man is and I don't you to mention him. Ever. Again." The monster simply smiled, "You'll have to accept it sooner or later," the thing came closer to the mirror, "Accept it boy. If you can't then it will lead to your destruction-I WILL BE YOUR DEMISE."

Nathaniel struck the mirror with his free fist and his other hand was balled up too, ready to punch the mirror again. It created a shattered crater and he could hear the chilling laugh of the monster on the other side. The ruined puppet he had was laid on the floor and stared at Nathaniel with its one button eye. He looked over at the puppet and sighed, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'll take you home." He gingerly picked up the ruined puppet and brought him to the incinerator. He opened the door and kissed the puppets head in farewell. Once he dropped it he heard the voice come back, "No matter how hard you try Nathaniel, you will fail. You can't ignore me forever!" And it was true. He couldn't no matter how hard he tried. He walked up to the mirror and simply said, "I know that. Now let me go back to work." The monster smirked and disappeared into the darkness. The black was sucked in along with him and the mirror was back to replicating the room. Nathaniel sunk in his chair and sighed shakily. He rubbed his temple, then his eyes and let out a groan as he leaned back. He picked up a needle and worked to sew the seams on his hand back together. A radio next to him turned on with a static and he heard a calm and deep voice, "Sire? Are you okay?"

Nathaniel broke the thread and moved his hand slowly, "I'm fine Stein. What is it that you burden me with now?"

"A new puppet is about to be born right now sire. I just wanted you let you know. Also..."

He looked up and at the mirror again and quickly turned to the radio, "Also what?"

"You may want to keep an eye out for her. The men who informed me slipped info about her 'changing'. I didn't quite get the last part but it sounds very suspicious."

Nathaniel leaned back and started at himself in the mirror. 'Special huh? What's so special about her? I guess I'll have to sew and find out.' Not used to the sudden burst of energy he had, he stumbled a little as he hurried to create the little girl. When he went to gather the materials for her, things became very out of turn. He picked up beautiful fabrics he never used for both her skin color and clothes and went to a shelf on the cabinet. He opened it slowly to see his special golden needle and red thread. 'I'm not doing this on purpose. I just have no control over me right now!' He hurried back to the table; sat down and got to work with her dress first. The fabric he chose had this illusion quality to it where at a distance it looked like it was turquoise but then if you look very closely it becomes a beautiful shade of sky blue. He quickly grabbed a chalk on his work desk and began to create the little puppet's dress. Every line was flawless and clean. These actions were still not coming from Nathaniel himself. He knew it was something else because when he focuses his attention elsewhere his hands would keep moving to create the puppet. His hands had created the beautiful blue dress and set that aside to begin working on the puppet. They cut up the figure of her with perfection and sewed the fabrics together with gentle ease and then they stopped. Nathaniel stared at his hands and moved them carefully. They reacted to his commands now. 'What in the world?' He picked up the puppet and examined the clean seams as well as on the dress. 'I never made this kind of work. I wonder if my hands got possessed by demons.' He opened a worn drawer next to him and all different types of buttons clashed and ringed as if each were trying to catch his attention and say pick me. Oddly enough, he reached in and grabbed a random color. Nathaniel would always choose his colors very carefully but his thought processes were becoming unlike him. He pulled out a pair of buttons that was black and white; the black portion being the button's color and white blossoms were decorated all over. He laid them out on the desk and quickly sewed the buttons on. Next he grabbed some black yarn and sewed those on as the hair. He made it a simple straight hair that reached halfway down her back and bangs up at the front. He finally put the dress on the doll and stared at her with a small smile. She was beautiful. He picked up his golden needle and made a nice smile on her face and stared at her for a while longer. He looked at himself and then put the puppet on his shoulder. "Such a difference between us you and I." Nathaniel whispered.

The radio started up again and of course it was Stein saying, "Sire I have created your evening snack: oolong milk tea with chocolate truffle cheesecake. May I come in?"

"You may Stein. I want you to see the girl I created."

A door opened behind Nathaniel and heavy footsteps resounded and got closer to Nathaniel. He turned around to meet his 6'2 butler and gingerly held up his puppet, "Isn't she beautiful?"

Stein's poker face became a warm smile and he said, "Very master. I've never seen you create such a thing. What made you make her like this?"

"To be honest I really don't know. My hands were working on their own as if they were being possessed by demons. But she's so lovely. I can't seem to let her go."

Stein set the tea and cheesecake down on a little table and started setting up a small fork with a napkin, "Maybe it's a sign sire? Maybe you finally found the one thing that will define you. Really I have high hopes this time."

"I do too Stein," Nathaniel said as he walked to eat his snack, "I really do hope so. The other ones always died on me though. Will she disappear like the rest of them?"

Stein thought about it for a moment but he said, "Countless others have died by your hand have they not? You are the one that gives life and brings death to all; however, I have great faith in this new puppet that you have created."

Nathaniel nodded his head and took a small bite of the cheesecake. Stein waited for his next orders but he heard, "Stein, is there a higher being who creates the lives of these puppets and relays them to you and then to me? I've always wondered because I never think of how their lives are like."

"I would tell you sire, but that information is closed even on you. Though you give life and death you are only supposed to do so. I'm terribly sorry sire."

"Oh no! It's fine. I just thought that maybe I could know a thing or two more about this job I burdened myself upon with. Also I want you to take me up above tomorrow. I want to see this little girl I have made. I want to see if she's going to be this beautiful."

Stein nodded, "I'll see to it tomorrow sire." His radio got called up and Stein bowed, "Enjoy your meal sire. I'll be off now."

Nathaniel waved him goodbye and continued to eat his cheesecake. He held the puppet gingerly still and played with her hair. Her smile always touched his heart and it made him want to smile too. "Such natural beauty you hold my dear. I really want to see you right now." And throughout the rest of the day, as he created puppet after puppet, his lovely puppet always sat at the side; her smile kept Nathaniel going and going.

-223-

There was a knock at his door, "Sire? Are you still awake? Sire?"

Nathaniel had his head down and staring at his lovely puppet. He would caress her cheek and play with her hair and smile along with her. But there was still a mirror there to show him so that his smile will always look ugly. He frowned and answered, "Yeah I'm still alive. Are you ready Stein?"

"Of course sire." Stein came inside and wore his traveling clothes that matched the trend up there as a "street outfit". He had on black sneakers and simple white shirt with comfortable jeans. He had his glasses remade into plastic ones.

Nathaniel stood up and stretched and sighed, "Let me guess. I have to go with the trend up there too don't I?"

"We will stand out if we don't. I brought you a variety of the types of clothes they wear up there. Choose which ever and leave the rest behind here sire."

Stein set down a bag with different styled shirts and bottoms and shoes. Nathaniel looked at every one of them and couldn't decide which disgusted him more so he just chose a red shirt, black jeans, and high top shoes with the brand name Adidas or something. He looked at himself in the mirror again and really, if he were to show up in front of people girls would notice him quickly and find him very attractive. But then he has his face of stitches and he sighed. Stein picked up bags, "Ready sire?"

"Of course. Just let me find her." He went to the desk and picked up his lovely puppet and stowed her in a small pouch. Stein handed Nathaniel a black over shirt and he grimaced, "I have to wear that Stein? Really?"

He nodded stiffly, "It's the trend sire. I'm only trying to follow the rules of that trend. Truth be told it's very hard since the definition of 'cool' and 'handsome' is thrown around up there."

Nathaniel took the over shirt and put it on. He looked at himself again, "At least it hides my pouch. Okay let's go now."

Stein brought out a powder and dropped some down that was forming a door. It was a depressing looking door because the frame had horrendous pictures of people being tortured and killed by other people or mauled by animals. At the top there was a menacing gargoyle, the Purgatory Guardian, that cackled and laugh, "What does the little people want now? A certain location? A town, a city?"

The gargoyle always troubled Nathaniel because it was clearly insane and he never knew why Stein kept using the gargoyle as their type of transport. His eyes were turning into a stained yellow and he always flung out his arms wildly as if he were trying to swat an annoying fly that hovered near him. Stein calmly responded, "The town of Augusta, Maine."

The gargoyle cackled again and chanted, "Little people to little Maine, let their travel not be in vain. Calm streets and still skies, may our hearts continue to lie!" The people in the frame came to life and writhed in pain from what they were facing. Nathaniel could almost hear their screams and tried to focus his mind elsewhere. 'An insane gargoyle with suffering people. What a happy way to leave this place.' The door slowly opened and Purgatory laughed and laughed that filled the room, "Take your leave sires. If I place you in the wrong town just tell me! I will respond with much enthusiasm!" His laugh became hysterical, almost psychotic. He was pounding his fist against the frame as if he was told a hilarious joke.

Stein simply said his thanks in his laughter and turned to Nathaniel, "Let us go sire. She is waiting."

Nathaniel nodded slowly and follows after Stein into the door. When it closed behind them, they could still hear Purgatory's insane laughter and his fist still pounding against the door. Nathaniel slowly turned back to Stein and in front of them was a bright shining light. It didn't make Stein flinch and Nathaniel was shielding his eyes. Once they were out in the open, they came upon the city of Augusta. There were some people milling about that paid no mind to them and all of a sudden, Nathaniel felt his spirits deflate and he whispered, "Can they see us Stein?"

"Not quite sire. I've taken the liberty to conceal our presence to everyone until we get our target. They can't see, hear, or feel us so don't worry sire."

He breathed a sigh of relief and looked around. "There might be a hospital around here Stein. She was born today wasn't she?"

Stein nodded, "The nearest hospital I could find is somewhere around here. Purgatory didn't put us in the exact location as usual."

"Then let's just look around."

Stein simply nodded and turned to the left, "I'm thinking the hospital is here this way. You can take a look if you want to sire."

Nathaniel was already staring at a store with little trinkets. As he followed Stein to the direction of the hospital, he took in the town. He wouldn't mind living here. This place was so small and everyone seemed to know each other. He saw children playing out in the streets and adults who talked with each other and laughed. He noticed something inside his heart that he always felt before. He sighed and followed sadly behind Stein. They came upon the hospital and Stein pointed up, "She's in the maternity ward. I wonder why they would put it in the middle of the building. Are we ready sire?"

"Yes, let's go in."

They entered the hospital and a nurse passed right through him. He jumped back and saw that there were people idly walking to where they were going. Stein was already at the elevator, "Sire?"

Nathaniel quickly walked over and they took the elevator to the maternity ward. They went inside to find rows of new born babies. Nathaniel looked in wonder at the children he made. 'I've only seen what they would grow up to be. But these children are just as beautiful.' He wanted to reach in and hold their small hands. He wanted to hold one of them. He turned to Stein, "Which one is her Stein?"

He mused and pointed out the far upper corner to the right, "I think that might be her. I learned that her name is Naomi."

She was sleeping soundly despite the noise of the baby next to her. Nathaniel smiled at the sight, "She's more beautiful than I've ever imagined. I'm desperate to hold her Stein." He stood next to Nathaniel and didn't respond but Nathaniel paid no mind. He couldn't hold back a bigger smile as he poked the window that barred him from her. "Her cheeks are so puffy. I want to poke them." Nathaniel withdrew from the window and sighed, "I would have to wait until she grows older to watch over her don't I Stein?"

He nodded gravely, "About a few weeks, give or take a month at the most. They do have to determine if the baby will be healthy enough to go out of the maternity ward. However, I know that you'll be patient sire. She'll be out before you know it."

Nathaniel sighed and gently placed his hand back on the window. He focused on her beautiful face that was still calmly sleeping. All of a sudden he wished to be beautiful like her, to be able to not have seams all over his fake body. He wished to have soft and flawless skin that this child possessed. And more importantly, he wanted that feeling of innocence. He has seen too much of this world and held too much responsibility for this world to keep his innocence. He slowly curled his hand into a fist and withdrew. Nathaniel whispered, "Let's go back Stein. There's a lot of waiting we have to do before we can see her again."

Stein slowly nodded and slowly walked beside him. He tapped his chin and mused out loud, "Who knows sire. The time may just pass by you and then the next thing you know she'll be out of there. Patience is a virtue sire."

Nathaniel nodded absentmindedly and fiddled with his ponytail. Stein looked around to find a place to summon Purgatory and looked up to the rooftops and then the alleyways. "Alleys seem to be our best bet right now. Are we ready to go now sire?"

Nathaniel nodded stiffly and followed his guardian to the alley. Stein brought out his bag of powder and summoned Purgatory again. The horrendous door began to form and Purgatory came out in hysterical laughter. He flailed his arms around and laughed, "What does the masters want now? The masters want to go back home to dreary sadness?" He continued his hysterical laugh and pounded his fists onto the door.

Stein sighed, "Take us back to Nathaniel's work place. We've finished our visit up here."

Purgatory chanted much more loudly and in the demonic language, "Kuaha matna, doyoula mictha, kikilai kikilai!" The door opened slowly and Purgatory laughed psychotically and flung his arms around wildly, "Have fun getting back home masters! Call me again when you need me!" It cackled wildly and flung his arms around. He gave Nathaniel the creeps every time her laughed and pounded against the door.

When they entered through the door Nathaniel whispered, "What made you hire that thing as the gate way guardian?"

"It wasn't me that chose sire," Stein answered evenly, "It was the person who created our realm. Whoever he is, he chose that 'thing' mostly likely for his good judgment. However, I know nothing more about that thing than hearing his laugh and torture the people in his door frame."

They both walked down the black hallway that never seemed to end until they came upon the dimly lit room of Nathaniel's workplace. He looked around and sighed once more. Stein rubbed his temple tiredly and walked towards the door, "I'll be leaving now sire. Tell me when she'll be out."

Nathaniel nodded and sat back down on his chair. He looked at himself in the mirror and reached up to feel his stitches that created his face. He hovered over the even black stitches and then looked at his hand. He was covered in stitches. 'Why does this still surprise me? Do I really not believe that I have stitches all over me?' He pulled out the puppet he held in his pouch and set her down on the table next to the sewing machine. Her eyes watched over him through the days and nights he worked and for some odd reason, he would just get a kick out of it just looking back at her.