The Broken Part, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Broken Part

By: Jonathan Yandura

Status: Completed

Summary:

An android, Johnny, and his human partner, Trisha, try to survive a post apocalyptic wasteland when Johnny begins to ask too many questions about himself and his relationship with Trisha.

Created: August 9, 2013 | Updated: August 30, 2013

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 2 | Rating:

Comments: 0

Favorites: 2

Reads: 318


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1: The Broken Part 2958
Total Wordcount: 2958

Reviews (2)


  • D.M. Gergen

    This was beautifully tragic. I really enjoyed the way Jonathan Yandura attempted to explain what love is. Obviously for a short piece there were lots of questions about the world they were living in and if it would be possible for Johnny to survive in the wilderness alone. The same goes from Trish. My one critique of this was just the abundant use of Johnny. It may have been intentional for nearly every thought he had to begin with Johnny, but it was hard to tell due to this being a single chapter. I would love to see more in this universe, maybe more with Johnny as he explores the world alone...maybe even more of Trish now that she's alone. Overall, a very good story.

    Rating:
    August 26, 2013 Flag


  • Louis Kemner

    I like the tragic turn of events at the end and Johnny's confusion and inner turmoil up until then. However, two issues... one, the setting is post-apocapyptic and having Trish and Johnny as the only two beings around feels way too convenient to me. It forces them to be alone, but you'd think there'd be other survivors or at least a hint of them. Also, the first half of the story drags and is too info-heavy. You want to have a snappier pace and use action and dialogue to move things along, not constant inner thoughts. I think there ought to be a better balance there. PS I'm not the technician type, but I'm fascinaated by the social and emotional implications of human-robot interaction and relations (such as whether they have a soul or true emotions, or if it's "right" for a person to love an artificial being).

    Rating:
    August 10, 2013 Flag


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