A Night on the Earth, a Science Fiction story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

A Night on the Earth

By: Louis Kemner

Status: Completed

Summary:

A disgruntled alien is behind on his rent, hasn't captured a human for days, and has his boss breathing down his neck. But young Glorck still manages to find a little joy in life.

(Comedy)

Created: August 8, 2013 | Updated: September 4, 2013

Genre : Science Fiction

Language : English

Reviews: 5 | Rating:

Comments: 5

Favorites: 8

Reads: 699


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1: The story 4385
Total Wordcount: 4385

Reviews (5)


  • K. P. Soprano

    This is a story for anyone longing for an adventurous-slice-of-life plot in less than 5,000 words. And with the out-of-this-world, yet relatable characters, it is definitely worth a read.

    Rating:
    October 4, 2014 Flag


  • Danelle Septhon

    My that was enjoyable. Very humorous with a nice dash of undertone. I like how you protray the aliens as curious. It really shows a different side of the sci fi genre that is always fun to look at.

    Rating:
    April 14, 2014 Flag


  • Mahelsonei Sonjen

    Quite honestly, this is a very well-written short. It could be considered a good book, but some of the plot doesn't run very smoothly. Definitely worth a read, and possibly a sequel!

    Rating:
    March 26, 2014 Flag


  • F.D. Charles

    I have to say, for a short story it is a wonderful read indeed, and its worth a read.

    Rating:
    September 2, 2013 Flag


  • D.M. Gergen

    This really was wonderful and very deserving of my first 5 star review. Despite being a short story the characters were full and vibrant, the dialogue was witty, clever, and fun, and the whole story was just a smooth and amusing read. As of now, it is the best piece I have read on this site both in terms of the writing and the story itself. Definitely worth reading.

    Rating:
    August 26, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Love the characters you have here. Wish we could have seen more of Mezzik. He seemed pretty awesome. 007 awesome. :) Thanks for the great read.

      October 6, 2013 | Eleanor Damaschke


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Very interesting story, and quite entertaining. Love the description of the aliens and nice character development. I very much like Yax’s personality. And I like the comment about him being Glorck’s supervisor, not the girlfriend.

      Odd writing at times, and a few missing words in areas, but other than that, well done. The only things I would say are:

      -when writing ‘out-of-context’ sentences, refrain from bringing words together, like “he’d would’ve, haven’t”; instead write them out. It sounds better and looks a little more professional.

      -this sentence, not that there is anything too wrong with it, I, personally, would have said, “He did not say anything else.”

      -slight prepositional mistake here: ‘on his home world.’ The ‘on’ in this case should be ‘in’. If you were to use ‘on’, the sentence would say, “on his home planet.’

      -‘He promptly ate, then spat out, the foul thing.’ The comma between ‘out’ and ‘the’ makes a comma splice. The comma should be, one, after ‘then’, or, two, just not there at all and leave the first one.

      I would recommend going through and reading the story aloud just to catch some other errors. Other than that, excellent job!

      --Hiynm

      October 30, 2013 | A. Amadeus MacKenzie


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      I enjoyed the different take on the 'little green men' that come to mind when aliens are menioned. It was nicely humourous, and the way you made Glorck so...human...made it easy to identify with. He had job pressures, a girlfriend, and was implusive, just like many of us. This amde it very easy to slip into the story.

      However, I felt the ending was a little rushed; the way Yax's friend swooped in to 'save the day' was a little too easy a plot device.

      Overall, I found the story humourous and quite enjoyable. 

      Cheers. 

      November 19, 2013 | Estoma Little


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Oh my word, this is such a good--and funny!--story. You could write a series of short stories about Glorck.

      Quick question; what do they do with the abducted humans? There has to be a reason that's fairly important if Earth is as pathetic as they say in here...

      March 25, 2014 | Mahelsonei Sonjen


    • Reply

      To Madeline: In the beginning of the story it is said that the aliens' abduction storage is lacking "fresh meat". Maybe humans taste good?

      October 4, 2014 | K. P. Soprano