The Birdsong Saga, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Birdsong Saga

By: Dennis Thompson

Status: In Progress

Summary:

Created: July 29, 2013 | Updated: February 9, 2016

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 2

Favorites: 2

Reads: 555


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1: The Beginning 645
Total Wordcount: 645

Reviews (1)


  • D.M. Gergen

    Dennis Thompson created a good character in his story, but unfortunately he didn't create much with them. The writing is good with only a few errors, but the story stopped before it ever got started, leaving readers wondering if there will be more posted in the future.

    Rating:
    September 30, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    The writing is good (beyond the comment in the chapter section), but I wonder if you meant to set this as complete? Without a summary I have no idea if this is all you meant to post from a larger story, if you got stuck, or if this is it. If the last, I would suggest giving this piece some sort of theme since there was really no decisive ending or sense of a message from it. I assume that is not the case since you have a second chapter that was never uploaded, but I would suggest putting something in the summary to tell readers that this is either only a sample from a bigger story that will someday be available or edit this to be a stand alone piece with some substance.

    September 30, 2013 | D.M. Gergen


  • Chapter: 1 Reply

    You're making a common mistake with your dialogue grammar. If you use a speaking verb don't end with a period, use a comma. If you are using other punctuation like an exclamation or question mark then you don't need a comma. Example? - It's like the gods send rain every time im out on patrol." said Drakar --> It's like the gods send rain every time im out on patrol,"said Drakar. - “Shall I remove the saddle as well?”, asked Drakar --> “Shall I remove the saddle as well?” asked Drakar - See the difference? Also have your punctuation inside the quotes, not outside.

    September 30, 2013 | D.M. Gergen