The Kidnapping of Mira Von Perner, a General story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Kidnapping of Mira Von Perner

By: Terenas Stand

Status: Completed

Summary:

Don't open your door to strangers if you have rich parents; it might just get you kidnapped. Based on my life, my biggest fear, and a real story.

Created: October 4, 2013 | Updated: December 21, 2013

Genre : General

Language : English

Reviews: 6 | Rating:

Comments: 12

Favorites: 11

Reads: 2889


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Reviews (6)


  • discarded account

    It was AWESOME!!! Usually I don't even bother reading books but this was so intiguing, rightly paced and full of action, it kept me at the edge of my seat :3 Best book I've read on this site so far. I must admit, it did get a litte kinky in the middle... maybe it's just my masochistic insticts kicking in. I thought they are gonna fall in love or something... BUT I loved the ending anyways! Who doesn't like happy endings? cx REALLY enjoyed reading your book. Can't express it all in words. Keep writing amazing books like this~~

    Rating:
    January 18, 2015 Flag


  • Moonlight Ryder

    wonderfully written story ! its really,realy good. It has something about it that attracts you to it and its really hard to stop once you've sarted reading. I suggest that you read it atleast once

    Rating:
    April 25, 2014 Flag


  • Erik Lapster

    I read this too on fictionpress, and I have to say it's a compelling and quite disturbing read that really captivates your attention from the start. Despite this ordeal, the narrator still seems to have her humor intact, which is quite remarkable. Great job!

    Rating:
    December 21, 2013 Flag


  • Heather O'toole /Davies

    This story is very well thought out, and the perspective of the story really brings the main character to life. I’m hooked and can’t wait to read more!

    Rating:
    November 17, 2013 Flag


  • Qazwsxedcrfvtgb Yhnujmikolp

    This is really good! I can't wait for the next instalment to find out what happens to poor Mira!

    Rating:
    November 14, 2013 Flag


  • Bethany Hardy

    I really like the beginning of this story, and plan to read more when I have the time. It's a really good premise, and who isn't afraid of being kidnapped? Your use of descriptive details put us right in the story and don't fail to inspire a twinge of fear for the main character. Keep it up!

    Rating:
    November 12, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    Hooked since chapter one! Great start... 

    I wished I had a little more insight on Mira's personality, though. Guess it started coming in chapter 7, but still... Crazy? I was thinking average, naive and mild-tempered rich girl (which I have no problem with). Maybe I'm just being too impatient though. I'm really curious what kind of person she is! Please keep going...

    I wanna see her blow up and get angry. Get VIOLENT. Haha oh no, I'm too weird...

    (Of course that's just me. I have a strange sense of humor).

    Lovin' that Violent can cook! Woo. So, uh, definitely keep writing!

    October 27, 2013 | Liz uli


  • Reply

    I'm an average, mild-tempered and naive rich girl...? Please. I'm the exact opposite! Yes, the story is based on ME entirely. And a kidnapping attempt from my childhood.

    But hey, if I could somehow break the law of physics (and realism) I would KICK THEIR ASSES ANY DAY! (Yep, I'm a badass mother******)

    However, no matter how much I love that idea (and also what a crazy story it would make), I still feel like I should stick to a more... realistic interpretation.

    It's difficult to speak while gagged - trust me, I know. It's difficult to see while blindfolded - trust me, I know. Thus, the only thing that's left is... my thoughts! Have fun listening to my head.

    It's an interpretation of how I would react to the situation, and how it would affect me. Physically, mentally - you know the drill. And since it's being written in first-person narrative, there will be mystery and unanswered questions! Lol. I'm totally exaggerating this.

    And please, Liz. Violent cooked bacon and porridge... that's like... level 1 in cooking skills.

    Thanks!

    October 27, 2013 | Terenas Stand


  • Reply

    Is there another chapter coming?! I NEED to know if Mira's ok!!!!!

    November 19, 2013 | Qazwsxedcrfvtgb Yhnujmikolp


  • Chapter: 7 Reply

    This is really getting interesting! I'm curious to where the other kidnappers went, and why her father hasn't appeared to do anything yet (or not enough to get her released, anyway). I hope Mira can escape!

    Oh, and a minor thing from chapter 4, if Violent kept slapping her left cheek that would actually make him right-handed, not left-handed, unless he was doing some weird back-hand slap thing... I honestly don't know why that bugged me, but it did :P

    October 30, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton


  • Reply

    Holy. Crap. I'm. Retarded.

    .__.

    Thanks!

    October 31, 2013 | Terenas Stand


  • Chapter: 8 Reply

    Good chapter, it was very exciting! Violent is so creepy. I was a little confused at exactly what happened at the end though.

    November 5, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton


  • Chapter: 8 Reply

    This is really good so far! I can't wait for the next chapter, and I think you write really well. This is an interesting chapter too. 

     

    November 16, 2013 | Lauren Rose


  • Chapter: 8 Reply

    Wow, this is good! I hope she escapes, because It doesn't look good for her. Can't help but wonder if her dad payed the ransom.

    November 17, 2013 | Heather O'toole /Davies


  • Chapter: 9 Reply

    Yay she finally escaped! Although I was confused as to whether Violent let her go or whether he got caught XD. I suppose this will be apparent in the next chapter. I liked how you gave some insight into Mira’s past with her brother and her life before this happened.

    November 19, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton


  • Reply

    I'm writing this in first-person with two purposes. One. Everything is seen through my eyes, and the reader sees the world through me. An objective version of it, if you will. Therefore, the reader will have the exact same knowledge as me. If I happen to pass out, the reader will obviously not know what actually happened. But that doesn't mean you're not free to speculate! :)

    So far, all the people I've talked with haven't had problems understanding what happened in the last two chapters, so I don't know...

    And let me clear some things up. This story is based on ME. My name is Mira, and my brother's name is Noah. Any detail regarding me or someone in my faimly is completely true.

    Will there be another chapter? Who knows... xD

     

    November 19, 2013 | Terenas Stand


  • Chapter: 10 Reply

    I found the ending a little rushed, to be honest. I felt like there was something missing, although I'm not sure what... I also thought the bit with the detectives was a bit unrealistic, I think they'd be a bit more respectful of her situation and wouldn't ask questions so forcefully. At least, thats what always happens on crime shows :P The bit with her brother was cute though :)

    Overall a very well written story, I enjoyed it :)

    November 21, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton


  • Reply

    Oh, holy crap. I actually left out a few parts! xD (I think I stopped writing and started at the ending...) I guess I'll add it. Lucky you pointed it out!

    But even so, yeah. There is one part that will be kinda rushed due to personal... reasons. I hate this story, and it's been a real pain to write it. So it feels really good to be able to leave it and move on. It was originally a suggestion from someone I'm talking a lot with.

    The conversation with the detective is based on an actual conversation I had with one after the real kidnapping incident (Not all of them are hot and professional like the ones in crime shows!). He was later replaced by someone who had more experience talking to children, which I was grateful for.

    Thank you for reading. :)

    November 21, 2013 | Terenas Stand