The Last Night, a Romance story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Last Night

By: Eleanor Damaschke

Status: Completed

Summary:

He dropped into her life like a lead weight on the end of a fishing line. Now his week is up and he's getting ready to rip his hooks out and cut her loose. Neither of them are really sure they want that.

Created: September 26, 2013 | Updated: September 29, 2013

Genre : Romance

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 2

Favorites: 0

Reads: 1031


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1: Rough Draft 582
2: Bryan's Version 660
3: Sophie's Version 1148
Total Wordcount: 2390

Reviews (1)


  • D.M. Gergen

    Eleanor Damaschke created a potentially steamy situation that could have been a wonderful short romance. Unfortunately it stops short, the story ending just at the point where the reader is starting to feel the momentum of the writing. Another chapter (or two if following the author's style) would have helped. Perhaps more detail on the date and the goodbye to give the readers the ability to imagine what happens next. But as is, this falls a little short of its potential.

    Rating:
    October 8, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    I would maybe add a few more chapters to this.  It doesn't feel finished.  Also I would maybe credit your friend in the summary but just have the parts that fit the story in your actual uploads.  Again, that would make this a lot more polished.

    October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen


  • Chapter: 1 Reply

    You're missing a few words here or there in this, but otherwise very clean writing.  

    October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen