My Last Day, a Tragedy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

My Last Day

By: Chantel Dunn

Status: Completed

Summary:

Little story I wrote in the ninth grade. It's about this one chance she took and it changed her life forever. I know their are something wrong in the story. First book! Please read.

Created: September 23, 2013 | Updated: September 23, 2013

Genre : Tragedy

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 2

Favorites: 0

Reads: 525


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1: My last Day 492
Total Wordcount: 492

Reviews (1)


  • D.M. Gergen

    Good writing for a student in 9th grade, but some things to clean up to match what I assume is a slightly more mature author at this point. It's a short read so worth a look by other readers.

    Rating:
    October 8, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    Granted you wrote this in 9th grade, so take this comment with a grain of salt, but I have a really big issue with the whole "luckily my bother went through the window" part.  Nothing lucky about that.  That, actually, is more likely to end in death than remaining in the car.  And from the way you described the impact it just isn't realistic.  Again, a 9th grader probably wouldn't have any reason to know this so it's understandable, but for future knowledge if you are writing a car accident being ejected is definitely not the way to go if you want to live.

    October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen


  • Chapter: 1 Reply

    Few spelling errors at the end.  

    October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen