Smoke and Mirrors, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

Smoke and Mirrors

By: diane sky

Status: Completed

Summary:

It is a time of dragons scorching the sky line. In Thebbington Abbey, Ember Blackthorne earns her living as a thief. When she crosses paths with both a humble, kind jeweler's son and a wicked, irresistible pirate, she learns that the world often catches fire and legends often beat reality.

Created: March 23, 2016 | Updated: September 30, 2016

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 14

Favorites: 7

Reads: 4760


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Reviews (1)


  • Aaron Ledgers

    This story.... there are NO WORDS for how good it is! It is literal BRAIN CANDY! Beautifully written, no noticeable mistakes, and wonderful timing! Not ONLY that, the plot is engaging and characters are the kind that grow on you. As in, grow REALLY fast. Five stars.

    Rating:
    April 28, 2016 Flag


Comments / Critiques


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Um... okay, I'm actually in genuine shock. How the hell do you not have more reads, let alone no comments at all? This is one of those stories that can catch people hook, line, and sinker! It's appalling that it hadn't had any reviews or comments until now! 

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Chapter: 2 Reply

      I've got genuine goosebumps. This is a damn good read... 

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Chapter: 4 Reply

      Ughgghghghg,---- my heartstrings, being tugged. This is the kind of story I would literally buy at Barnes and Nobles, grab a cup of coffee, and then binge read in my pajamas while listening to music. It is a CRYING shame this hasn't been published.

      I would buy it.

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Chapter: 9 Reply

      Your grammar is beautiful, your timing is perfect, and your descriptions literally paint an image inside my head. I aspire to write this well.

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Chapter: 10 Reply

      Noooooooo! It can't be done!! Update soon... I crave more brain candy!

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Reply

      Thank you so much for the awesome reviews and all that positive feedback! I'm so happy you liked it!!

      April 28, 2016 | diane sky


    • Reply

      You're very, very welcome! My own story so far kinda... pales in comparison. You write way better than I do. You should enter this into the 2016 Watty Award Competition once it starts. I'm entering my own in despite my worries, but you might actually have a shot at winning with such a great read.

      April 28, 2016 | Aaron Ledgers


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Very interesting start to your novel. Personifying the sun, the description of the dragons, your writing style in general, it's all quite good. It's something that brings me in, draws me closer, which is the entire point of the first chapter. I'll read more & comment as much as I can, but it's a good start.

      September 19, 2016 | Danny Power


    • Reply

      thanks a lot, i'm glad you're enjoying this :D

      September 19, 2016 | diane sky


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Wow...this is actually quite good! Especially the poem in the beginning!

      September 19, 2016 | Just Another Reader


    • Reply

      awwwww, thanks so much!! i'm so happy you like it!! :)

      September 19, 2016 | diane sky


    • Chapter: 2 Reply

      This was - for the most part - pretty good. You're quite good at making descriptive scenes, as well as descriptive characters. Ember is a woman I can picture clearly in my head, and you gave her many different emotions as the chapter progressed. I warmed to her, especially her relationship with Clare. Kaleb...I didn't practically warm to him. He was just too 'forward', but that's probably the point. He seems like bad news. We'll see how his involvement in the story goes. (Not warming to a character isn't necessarily a bad thing! He feels like he has hidden intentions, its interesting!) There were a few small grammatical errors, nothing too serious, but the line 'She surprise & the shock...' clearly meant '*The* surprise...' so just gleam over it again when you have time. Again, for the most part, it was a solid chapter.

      September 21, 2016 | Danny Power


    • Chapter: 3 Reply

      It's another good chapter, it really is.

      Ember in action was actually really handled well. You're making her out to be quite a viable character. We now understand why people are cautious around her, & there were little things - like neglecting to wear anything resembling camouflage because she was confident in her skills - that really made her stand out. Being more like herself around Kaleb was a welcome addition, as well. I felt like she was falling a little bit too quickly in the previous chapter, but this evens it out well. 

      Again some small grammar & spelling errors, but seriously nothing that a simple round of editing won't fix. The story is going places, I genuinely don't know what's going to happen next, & that's part of the appeal for me at the moment. 

      September 28, 2016 | Danny Power


    • Chapter: 4 Reply

      It's been a while since I've read this, I'm glad I got back to it. 

      Another solid chapter. The dialog was well-thought out & funny in parts, I'm starting to warm towards Kaleb now. He's obviously allowing his heart to rule over his head, but he definitely has more layers in his personality than I expected, now that he planned on escorting Ember himself. You also set up the next chapter quite well with the Masquerade.

      I like where this story is going!
       

      October 23, 2016 | Danny Power