The First Cut, a Romance story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The First Cut

By: BeBe FeFe

Status: In Progress

Summary:

Aria Kelvin is determined to leave her wicked past behind as she enters her new school. Gone are the days of beatings and trying to hide the marks... as far as anyone else knows. But what happens when she meets a boy who won't let her forget about her past? Even if it's unintentional.... Warning: Masochism

Created: September 13, 2013 | Updated: December 14, 2013

Genre : Romance

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 2

Favorites: 1

Reads: 1325


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Total Wordcount: 6776

Reviews (1)


  • Tara McClaine

    Nice one! I liked it. The story was nice. AT LAST A MULTI CHAPTER FIC!!!! ( And Tara runs away dancing out of the euphoria she is experiencing) (Again comes back) Nice story I have to say. I like her very very very much!

    Rating:
    January 17, 2014 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    Wow, Aria is one messed up chick. You're writing in this is good and moves along nicely. Other than my chapter comment there really weren't any huge things for you to consider for your next chapters in terms of structure. Obviously in your summary you put that Aria is a masochistic, but I hope that you give a back story to that. I'm curious as to what introduced her to that sort of life (her mom?), why she enjoys it, or if it's her way of coping with things from her past so she doesn't feel like a victim. Finally, I would put maybe something more of a warning in your summary since I can see this story potentially going into subject matter that some people won't be comfortable with. Maybe it won't, but if you intend to have her in a relationship that has some level of physical abuse in it a warning might be warranted.

    September 14, 2013 | D.M. Gergen


  • Chapter: 1 Reply

    Here's the one major editing thing I found...Basically i think you hit enter on accident since you cut glasses off into a new paragraph: " she had dark grey hair and eyes that were so wrinkled and squinted that-if it weren’t for the huge glasse s that showed the tiniest of slits in the middle-you’d have to wonder how she saw at all."

    September 14, 2013 | D.M. Gergen