Dance of the Dark Butterflies, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

Dance of the Dark Butterflies

By: Asch Nighthawk

Status: In Progress

Summary:

Yuki, a mysterious swordsman, is taken in by Kaitlin when he is discovered grievously wounded. Over time, he begins to reveal bits of his story, but his tales begin to fluctuate farther and farther from the dark truth. Each chapter is accompanied by a flashback that reveals what his real past is. Meanwhile, in the present, a bloody war is being fought between two powerful countries.

Created: September 7, 2013 | Updated: October 31, 2013

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 0 | Rating:

Comments: 2

Favorites: 1

Reads: 1193


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1: Prologue 1609
2: Chapter 1 1998
3: Chapter 2 1530
Total Wordcount: 5137

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    Comments / Critiques


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      Hello! This is really great so far! I like your use of descriptive language ^^ I think you have just the right amount of mystery, so its intriguing and I want to see what happens next. P.S the cover is so cool!!!! :D

      September 17, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton


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      I really enjoyed this. The first chapter was beautifully described. The second, too, had such great, vivid descriptions it really made the world come alive. One thing I would say in way of a critique is that in the second chapter I was a little surprised that a young Yuki wouldn't realize something was terribly wrong after his father's death. Sure, he's a toddler, but after speaking to him and having a strange man appear it would be a little more realistic for him to show at least some shyness or fear. Then, I was slightly confused in the part with the black butterflies. It wasn't really clear what was happening. Was Yuki alone causing it or who was the robed man? Might be worth going back and clarifying that a bit.

      September 18, 2013 | D.M. Gergen