The Cause and Effect of Deciet , a Mystery story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Cause and Effect of Deciet

By: Marceline Yates

Status: In Progress

Summary:

I'm not exactly going to give you a cup of tea and let you think through this properly. Instead, I'm going to write you this 'diary'. And by the time you've finished reading, I'll be dead.

Created: February 14, 2015 | Updated: May 26, 2015

Genre : Mystery

Language : English

Reviews: 0 | Rating:

Comments: 11

Favorites: 2

Reads: 2061


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1: Opening 297
2: Chapter One 1178
3: Chapter Two 1500
4: chapter three 1374
5: Chapter Four 1028
6: Chapter Five 1344
7: Chapter Six 1231
8: Chapter Seven 1444
9: chapter eight 1192
Total Wordcount: 10588

Reviews (0)


    Comments / Critiques


    • Reply

      Hello. This might seem more like a review but I'll save the review for when the story is further written. Right now from what I can tell the story is interesting, unique, and quite fascinating. I will admit the opening did get me slightly confused, and I don't know if that was what you were going for but if it was good job. If not, that is okay because the next to chapters were easy and simple to understand. There is a lot of question around the main character and I can't wait to read some more. Good job!. 

      P.s. there are some parts in Chapter 2 where you are missing the enter marks so it appears a little strange but that's all I really noticed about it. 

      February 17, 2015 | Erica Van Ness


    • Reply

      I think it has a great POV sense to it and it seems to have caught my interest. So I cannot wait for more. Nice work.

      March 2, 2015 | Leaf Soto


    • Reply

      I'm glad you've enjoyed what has been written so far, and hope that you will continue too - thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my work.

      marcie

      March 29, 2015 | Marceline Yates


    • Reply

      Marcie,

      Count me in among the readers that appreciated your story. The beginning was superb and grabbed my attention, and it was easy to keep going with this story to find out what was to come. I've always been a fan of darker stories and demonology, and your work scratched me right where I itch! 

      April 1, 2015 | Ryan Funk


    • Reply

      Thanks again for taking the time to read the story - I'm so glad you've enjoyed it and hope you continue to

      -marcie

      April 2, 2015 | Marceline Yates


    • Reply

      It's spelled deceit.  And the saying is:  I before E except after C--there's something very unappealing about a misspelled title.

      I never encourage a writer to rely solely on a spell check program, but as a quick resource they are very useful. 

      April 28, 2015 | Lynn Hollander


    • Chapter: 5 Reply

      It's getting interesting now. And Nyssa reminds me of my character, Lotus with the white hair and black clothes.

      March 9, 2015 | Leaf Soto


    • Reply

      thanks for the feedback ! I admit, the opening is a little slow, but I hope you find the pace a little better as the story continues :)

      March 9, 2015 | Marceline Yates


    • Chapter: 7 Reply

      Nice. The action really picked up. Can't wait to find out exactly what she's hiding from.

      March 30, 2015 | Leaf Soto


    • Chapter: 8 Reply

      Oh, so this is getting good. Now she refers to the reader as 'friend'. Hope to read more soon.

      April 2, 2015 | Leaf Soto


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Nice start. Even if it means a short beginning. Hope you write more of it instead of giving up.

      April 4, 2015 | Allyson Andrews