Word Thief, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale


Word Thief

By: Charli Hicks

Status: In Progress


When a simple misunderstanding gets blown out of proportion, a nation-wide search turns into an international search, the human race never imagined it would become an intergalactic search. As a never before seen phenomena baffles scientists and doctors the world over they find Lexis Smith to be at the centre of it all, but do they want to help her or destroy her?

Created: August 28, 2013 | Updated: September 4, 2013

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 0 | Rating:

Comments: 3

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Reads: 679

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1: Prologue 961
2: Chapter 1 1659
3: Chapter 2 1489
Total Wordcount: 4109

Reviews (0)

    Comments / Critiques

    • Reply

      I've only read the prologue so far, so take that into account when you read this critique. First of all your dialogue isn't done correctly. You need punctuation at the end of the quotes. If it's followed by a speaking verb, like said for example, use a comma and then your end quote. If it's followed by a stand alone sentence then use a period. Example "Goodbye little 'un," he said...(Sorry if I didn't get your wording quite right). Next, I understand that this is your story and you can do what you want, but the concept of sending a baby off due to a planet exploding just feels too much like Superman. Like I said I haven't finished reading the story yet, but if there was some way you could get your character off the planet in some different way or write it with something a little more unique I think it would keep your readers from stopping after that first post. Those would be my only suggestions in order to improve this.

      August 28, 2013 | D.M. Gergen

    • Reply

      Thanks for the feedback please bear in mind this is a rough draft and far from being complete and it will change, I just needed ideas on screen. I have not been aware of having to put punctuation at the end of a quote so thanks for telling me something new there I will try to resolve that when I can :)

      August 28, 2013 | Charli Hicks

    • Reply

      Yes, only just read the prologue. A couple of grammar mistakes but that's fine, you can always correct them. Interesting, is what i can say, it opened up nicely and ended nicely. Well done. It did sound a little like Superman but of course various people have copied stuff so ... . But it sounds good and i like Superman, but don't make him too much like him. I shall carry on reading!

      September 3, 2013 | Becky Kirk