'Eamersdr - Dreamers' - A collaboration with Emi ValladarezBy: Danny Power
Status: In Progress
Created: October 28, 2014 | Updated: November 11, 2017
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 2 | Rating:
|22:||Apterch Entytw - otw||3224|
|23:||Apterch Entytw - Reeth||3058|
|24:||Apterch Entytw - Urfo||2749|
|25:||Apterch Entytw - Vefi||1114|
|26:||Apterch Entytw - Xsi||1060|
Love it! I love the different writing styles, the parallel worlds, and just how different Dylan and Sylvia are. I love fantasy and this reminds me of 'The Subtle Knife' and Alegeisa from the 'Eragon' novels. I'm slightly confused by Dylan though, is he the only one to have that ability? (The last chapter gave us a small sense of hope that his brother could also do it) While we're talking about Aaron, I just want to say how tragic his character was! Naturally I didn't know about his condition so I googled it, and I feel so sorry for him! This is fantastic so far, I can't wait to see the rest!
November 10, 2014 Flag
I'm going to be honest and say that this book is okay. One thing I immediately see is that the way most of the characters speak is really formal, I don't know if this was on purpose, or if it's just the way you two write, but it seems almost... unnatural. Also, the descriptions may have been a bit too much, depends on which one you're talking about. In my own descriptions of character, I try to leave a good bit open to the imagination of the reader, more often than not, the imagination of the reader can create much more vivid and emotional visualizations of each character and their actions. Like maybe their eye color, hair, height, or even skin color, and even a basic description of their personality, but instead of trying to use their looks to give them personality, use their actions and words. Obviously, grammar and spelling were perfect throughout this so I'm not gonna spend any time on this, attention to detail is essential, and you've shown you have it with this. Although, as I said before, being over controlling of your characters can be bad. Last thing, plot line I think is fine, in fact, anything original and well done is fine, plot line and developement, as well as all parts of writing, are completely based off of opinion, so feel free to decline or accept my advice.
October 28, 2014 Flag