The Host, a Science Fiction story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Host

By: Jonnah Z. Kennedy

Status: Completed

Summary:

When a homeless girl knocks on a woman's door, the end of the world begins.

Created: August 24, 2013 | Updated: September 4, 2013

Genre : Science Fiction

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 1

Favorites: 0

Reads: 415


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1: Author's Note 169
2: The Host 4536
Total Wordcount: 4705

Reviews (1)


  • D.M. Gergen

    Jonnah Z. Kennedy has a very strong narrative voice along with a good eye for descriptions. The story is really driven along by the question of who or what Lillian is and then what exactly would be happening to Earth with the cliffhanger in the end. There are some minor editing issues that slow reading down at times, but otherwise a decent start to short story trilogy.

    Rating:
    August 25, 2013 Flag


Comments / Critiques


  • Reply

    I'll be doing a review of this as well, but I would rather put critiques in the comment section rather than a review. I'm going to start with some things that as a reader threw me off/just didn't work as well as it could have and put the rest in the review. My very first thing is the very first sentence. Pulchritudinous. That is a mouthful and not a very common word. I know when I have talked with people in the "business" of novels they often say stay away from words like that since a majority of people won't know what it is and it will turn them off. Next, I would split up your paragraphs with who is speaking. That second paragraph is massive. It would be easier to read if you broke it up a bit. Also it would allow you get away with not always saying Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie every other sentence since we would know she is the one talking and making comments or doing things by the format of the paragraph. Also with your dialogue if you are using a speaking verb like said, exclaimed, murmured, etc you don't put a full stop in the quotes. Example "Here's some food." Said Stephanie should look like "Here's some food," said Stephanie. So use a comma when you are going to be using the speaking verbs. Otherwise, aside from the above, I really enjoyed this. I have never read any Stephanie Meyers so I can't comment if this was anything like her story, but the bit at the end all made it worthwhile.

    August 25, 2013 | D.M. Gergen