The Mountain King, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

The Mountain King

By: D.M. Gergen

Status: In Progress

Summary:

Elsa thought she knew the world she lived in, what was real and what wasn't. She thought she understood what life would give her and what to expect of the road she decided to follow. Yet everything changed in the blink of an eye. Her life, her purpose, and her destiny. Author's Note: This story is based on various folktales. It's my first draft so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

Created: August 22, 2013 | Updated: September 4, 2013

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 1

Favorites: 3

Reads: 546


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Reviews (1)


  • Nicole Armas

    I can only hope you'll update this soon because I absolutely love it! You had me hooked from the beginning, your writing style is very good and the story seems to flow very well. I wonder what will happen to Elsa next.

    Rating:
    December 23, 2014 Flag


Comments / Critiques


    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      First of all, who is D.M Gergen? Well, D.M Gergen is the most underappreciated person on this site. It's impossible to read a story on this site without finding an honest and eloquent comment from Gergen - be it a review, advice, or just a small comment.

      That's why I find it odd that Gergen's own work lack in numbers of reviews and comments. Perhaps there is an answer that I'm not aware of, even though I doubt it.

      Ah... In the Hall of the Mountain King by Edvard Grief. I remember when I listened to this masterpiece at the age of five. I was absolutely terrified. It was the first time in my life that music left me with an image worthy of its own horror movie. Yep. That song scared the shit out of me, but it was awesome.

      Anyway, I have to start by saying that I loved the 'Svensson' detail. Although some readers may not be completely familiar with the Svensson-syndrome (or whatever it's really called), it provided the story with more reliability to me. Furthermore, it gave me a relatively good clue on when and where this story unfolds. Just a single word that doesn't hold any real meaning at all.

      The style is adapted to fit a story that can potentially change in pace at any given second. It's clear, simple, and gives the reader a somewhat vivid image of what's happening, The few typos are easily spotted after re-reading out loud.

      Anything could've happened here. Following a young, laughing girl like that can probably end in a few thousand different ways. However, explaining everything in the first chapter rather than building up suspense and mystery wouldn't be much fun, would it?

      The ending leaves the reader with enough questions to click on the little blue button in the right corner - straight into chapter two.

       

      October 26, 2013 | Terenas Stand