Chickens With Lasers, a Humor story | SparkaTale


Chickens With Lasers

By: Tristan Scriver

Status: Completed


Frankies life has always been a lot less than mediocre, no friends, hardly any family, a crappy job. All he's ever really been able to succeed at is his beloved Space Chickens video game. One day, his world gets turned upside down and everyone on earth is counting on HIM to save them. For someone who's always been less than average, how can he take on such an important task?

Created: August 19, 2013 | Updated: September 3, 2013

Genre : Humor

Language : English

Reviews: 0 | Rating:

Comments: 5

Favorites: 1

Reads: 685

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    Comments / Critiques

    • Reply

      I can tell by the title that this story is going to be good.

      February 12, 2015 | Michael Mann

    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      Popped up on random story and frankly I couldn't resist. It's 3:30 am and I'm procrastinating but who cares, you can't turn down an invitation to read a story about chickens with lasers.

      Not much to really complain about. I'm never super picky with grammar and spelling when it's a humor story even though I should be, but it's a good start. Felt a little random with all the yelling and such, it felt slightly out of place to me but I'm not entirely processing everything right!

      I'm going to keep reading!

      February 8, 2014 | A . Nonymous

    • Chapter: 2 Reply

      This is probably the best entertainment for sleep deprived minds. The scene with the grandmother was um, well, interesting, and I'd be cautious of my grandmother as well if she said things like that.

      However, as I do usually try to provide constructive criticism in my reviews, I would suggest a fair amount of editing. Storyline and content are fine (no lack in humor) but there's lots of choppy sentences and paragraphs\lines that read funny. Scenes seem to jump around a lot, too, I'd recommend some bridging! I'm not going to be overly picky unless you'd like me to.

      The action in this was quite chaotic, but nice, in a way.. It's not random and devoid of humor like a few other stories I've read so far in the 'humor' category, so kudos to you there.

      And come on, laser chickens.

      February 8, 2014 | A . Nonymous

    • Chapter: 1 Reply

      that guy got a good reason to be afraid of his boss o.o

      January 11, 2015 | discarded account

    • Chapter: 2 Reply

      this is awesome! action, humor, sadistic army guy... it has all the parts of an entertaining story XD 

      January 11, 2015 | discarded account